What age for a cell phone?

[sylviamama]

Dsd had an afterschool party with a few friends last week, and through their conversation I discovered one of them has a cell phone already! BTW, they're all only 10 and 11. Yikes! I thought I had a few more years before I had to think about this.

Dh and I don't use cellphones, but dsd's mother does (quite excessively imo) and lets dsd use it as well.

First question - at what age does a child/teen need a cell phone, and what kind of parameters do you set?

Second question - anyone think it's even remotely not insane to insist that if dsd gets a cell phone from her mother, we can keep it out of this house? We do that with music and movies fairly successfully. She sometimes forgets that CDs with lyrics about sex, drinking and drugs and swearing need to stay at her mom's house, and they show up here in her backpack...

[Hera]

I shouldn't be posting here at all, my dd's only 4! But, my little sisters are young teens so I like to keep my finger on the pulse...

I think I would find it very reassuring to know that my dd had a cell phone if she was going to be going places on her own. That way, she could call me if she got into an uncomfortable situation. One neurotic scenario comes to mind: What if she was in a situation where kids were looking at their parent's guns, and no one was planning to take her home for another hour? I'd want dd to be able to excuse herself and call me, right away. Or, what if they're in a park and someone gets hurt and needs help? Or what if something comes up in my life, and I need to get in touch with dd right away?

I don't know, I guess I think a cell phone is a useful communication tool, not a questionable item like a vulgar CD. I can see how kids might abuse the privelege, though. It's pretty easy to rack up the minutes. Still, if her mom is paying for it or has that arranged with your dsd, I don't see why you should make a fuss over it being in your house. That's just my opinion, however, take it or leave it. Some things just aren't worth fighting about, and it might make her feel more secure to know she can call her mom whenever and from wherever she needs to.

[Kerlowyn]

We have a cell phone family plan, and have 3 phones. DH has one with him all the time, and I have another. The third one is shared by my mother (she lives with me) and my 10 year old DS.

If DS sleeps over a friends house, or goes someplace like a park with his friend's and their parents, he takes a cell phone with him. If we go hiking or mount bike riding, I always make him carry one. I feel better knowing he has one with him.

He does not carry it all the time, nor use it 'socially'

[Dar]

Rain got a cell phone when she was 10. She's 11 now. I think it's the greatest thing, really. I can call her if I'm going to be late picking her up somewhere, or she can call me if she needs to be picked up earlier or wants me to bring somethng when I pick her up or whatever. If we're at the farmer's market or roaming downtown Davis, we can stay in touch and easily meet up. And if she was ever in a scary situation, the police would be a phone call away.

I haven't really set limits - after 9 and on weekends we have a zillion minutes, so she's welcome to spend however long she wants on the phone. She likes IMing better than the phone anyway. If we started going over our minutes we'd talk, but right now we have a zillion rollover minutes to use up...

Dar

[ekblad9]

I've been thinking seriously about getting one for ds1 (12). I would like him to have it when he's out on dog walks and bike rides. And like others said, I would like him to have it when I drop him off/pick him up places. I don't think he would really talk to friends on it or anything. He doesn't use our regular phone for that.

[emmaline]

we just got one for 13 yo ds

he is very good about the "strictly for emergencies" rule

I like being able to contact him, he has chronic asthma and anaphylaxis to nuts - I like knowing he can get help quickly if he needs it

[MommaCheesehead]

My 12yr old just got one for his birthday. I was letting him use mine when I dropped him off at Little League practice and things like that. I like for him to be able to get ahold of me and vice-versa if he needs me (practice ends early, etc..).

He can't bring it to school and doesn't use it excessively (yet). Wait until he discovers girls, I'm sure all that will change:LOL

[Arduinna]

we got one for dd when she was about 11 I'd guess?? Actually can't say we got her one, we had an extra phone and I was able to share my minutes with the second phone for no charge so we did it. She is 14 now and rarely uses it. It has come in handy though if she is out with a friends parents ect.

[CincoDeMama]

ds is 14.5 & dd is 11, and both have been asking for cell phones for the last two yrs. they can KEEP asking too, because until they have a J_O_B to pay for one, they won't be getting one

[homeschoolmommyof1]

So far ds has not needed a cell phone. When he is out riding his bike in the neighborhood or goes to a friends house he takes the walkie-talkie. It has a 5 mile radius and so far it worked great for us and I don't have to worry about minutes :-)

[LLLKerry]

cell phone for teens

I am quite new to these message boards, but I thought I'd throw in my two cents. I got my daughter a cell phone (an extra $10/month on my plan) when she was 13 and a half and starting to go shopping or to the movies, etc with friends, and it has helped immeasurably. I absolutely felt concerned about getting the phones (for me as well, it seemed a riduculous luxury until my car broke down very late at night in a not good at all neighborhood and I had no way of getting help). But now it helps me to get in touch whenever I need to, as everyone else has mentioned, and I have had no problems with her going over our minutes, only with her abusing the text messaging which she has to pay for. My 11 and a half year old wants one, but I told her she will have to wait until she is approx. 13, because I see no reason for her to have one until she is going places on her own, which won't happen much before then.

[Dar]

Originally Posted by 4xmamamia

ds is 14.5 & dd is 11, and both have been asking for cell phones for the last two yrs. they can KEEP asking too, because until they have a J_O_B to pay for one, they won't be getting one

Ours is only $10 a month for the additional phone, too, which seemed worth it to me. It's as much for my convenience as hers, really...

Dar

[Rikki]

My 14 yo and 12 yo have had their own cell phones since starting middle school. They are both in afterschool sports and the school doesn't have a pay phone for them to call from. The last straw for me breaking down and getting phones for them on my plan was that my ds's football coach told the parents the kids would be ready to be picked up from school at 8 PM one night. They were ready at 6:30 and ds stayed outside, in the FREEZING rain, begging anyone he could to call me if they had a phone. He ended up walking home from school, part way, finding someone with a porch light on and knocked on their door to ask if he could use their phone to call me.

That night, they got cell phones. They have been a lifesaver to me...LOL The kids know the rules with them, use them to call friends on weekends, call the grandparents (who are with the same company, so it's free nationwide minutes), etc. The other lifesaver to me is that their phones have GPS on them. One night, my dd was getting out of gymnastics and I was there to pick her up. Didn't see her and waited 30 minutes. I went up to a custodian and he looked for her...couldn't find her... Called the cell company, had them track her with GPS (she had her phone ringer on silence/nonvibrate), found out that she was walking home because she didn't see me waiting for her. But, she was walking in an area that is really wooded and had something happened, no one would have found her for weeks... Anyway, that's my story. I used to think it was really a stupid idea to give kids cell phones. Especially mine, who don't typically follow the rules...but now, I have peace of mind! LOL

[magemom]

DD 13, has my phone. DH and I shared one plan with 2 phones but work gave me a phone recently. (good and bad with that) DD has used it responsibly so far. Soccer practice where she needed a ride, tell me what time an open ended school event was finishing and most recently a school competition I could not attend- she was able to give me play by play of how well her team was doing.
At 11ish she borrowed my cell for a track meet I could not attend and was not responsible with it.
My only problem is she keeps it off so I can't call her usually.

[anythingelse]

We all have cell phones, my husband and I have them through our phone co and they are one billl. The two older boys have prepaid ones from target Virign mobile so when they get run over by a car (fell out of pocket getting in car right under line of tire), washed in the washer, left at the playground to be stolen, or what have you, it is not a total loss (yes all those things have happened) I like them to carry a cellphone and I have had my older ds call me secretly from a bathroom etc.. at events to come get him early just show up when he is over at new friends, or once from MILs when she was drinking and she would have driven them home. Boys are 15 1/2 and 10. When we are mall shopping or at disneyland they can split up to go on a ride and we can find each other easily.

[CincoDeMama]

i can understand getting them for kids in activities or kids that are spending a lot of time away from home-i really do, but my kids don't right now. we do all afterschool activities together-even practices, so at this point, no cell phone for any of them

but i will reconsider next yr, when ds goes into hs & is playing umpteen sports after school. i'm not shut off to the idea but am to it being impractical for him right now.

[sylviamama]

WOW! I'm really surprised that so many are getting cell phones for kids at 10, 11, 12... I guess I need to fast forward - I'm still basing expectations, assumptions etc on my own childhood. Of course, I got fast forwarded to motherhood by getting married and moving in with not only my husband but a 9 year old too! I'm still playing catch up with her.

I guess I should explain that I do find the type of cell phone use that is so prevalent nowadays vulgar - just like a vulgar CD. I loathe watching people drive while talking on the phone, loading their groceries onto the conveyor belt while talking on the phone unable to respond to the cashier who is asking how are you?, answering the phone at a table in a restaurant, chatting loudly with whomever couldn't be bothered to join them at the video store about what movie they'd like to see, etc. That's the picture I had in mind when suggesting that I might like to keep the cell phone out of this house. I imagine dsd walking around the house talking loudly with friends she's just seen at school, or answering it whenever it rings while we're out and about.

It makes sense to have one for the necessities - calling for a ride, checking in, etc. A great communication tool for parent and child. I'm just worried about the possible endless chats with friends. We'll just have to come up with some reasonable parameters, hopefully ones that won't be too different than the parameters her mother establishes with her. And hopefully, we won't have to deal with this for another few years because she isn't going anywhere on her own yet. Even all her extracurricular activities - her mother is her girl scout troop leader, her cheerleading coach, takes ice skating lessons with her, etc.

I guess I might have to get one as well so I'll be able to call her too..... Or maybe I can continue to hold out on one.

[LizD]

Our daughter, 10, doesn't really talk on the house phone much, and in the past when we're together at some event we'll give her my phone and keep dh's phone- like at the big Phish festival IT last year, so she could walk around with a girl she'd met there, or at a concert in Prospect Park where she also met a girl she wanted to go around with. I am thinking that when we change plans soon, however, we will get her one also. Where we live, local calls are very confusing- sometimes you dial the area code even though it's the same, and from different houses you do or don't dial the area code for the next county- I have always been nervous about that in case a child needs to reach a parent quickly from an unfamiliar house or phone.

She spends a lot of time at a neighbor's house where there are six kids, three of them teenagers, so the phone service there is unreliable! No one answers, or they're on the phone, or can't find the phone. If their mom is not home I would be more comfortable knowing my girl had her own phone, just in case.

[chattymom]

I never had a cell phone when I was a teen and I did just fine LOL

I don't think children need cell phones, I think I am careful about where I let them go. I will not just let them go to anyone's house and hang out. My oldest are turning 10 in oct. and I can't imagine them having a cell phone, it's just not nessesary. They take a two way radio when they ride their bikes and other than that they don't need anything. I am not the type of parent to drop off my kids at the mall and then pick them up later. I see so many kids at the mall alone I hate to see that. I also think it can give kids a false sense of security where they might get themselves into an awkward situation thinking they have their cell if anything happens and then they might not get service or whatever, anything could happen.

I think once my kids have a drivers license and are going off on their own as older teens that is when they can have a cell phone.

[Seeking Refuge]

Let's see I am 33 and dh is 26 and we are still functioning pretty well without cell phones. I second the thought that cell phones are vulgar.

I don't think children need cell phones, as long as they have specific times they are to check in with you.