I have been with my soon to be husband for 3 years now. He has been divorced from his ex wife 8 years, and has 2 daughters 9 and 10. It hasn't been the most appealing situation with the ex wife but let me explain my dilemma.
The ex wife has not worked in her life ( she is 32) she has 4 children by 3 different men having the first one at 16 and has been on state aid ever since. She is content living in low income apartments and getting by on welfare, food stamps and the child support she receives from my fiance. This is how she chooses to live and that is not my concern.
She will not let me attend school functions for the girls, I am not to have any contact with their school activities, or pick them up or drop them off from school, this is an inconvenience but I comply.
No we are teaching the girls responsibility. They have a few chores ( clean their room, pick up their dirty clothes, put away their clothes ect), and if their chores are not completed they get a $ 0.50 cent deduction. They know this but the youngest girl (9) doesn't feel she has to comply because she doesn't do it at her mothers house so she doesn't receive an allowance but the oldest girl (10) dose and receive hers. The youngest said this is not fair and informed her mother which replied with " she shouldn't be acting like your mother she isn't", so NOW I hear I don't have to you are not my mother from the youngest.
I have told her I am not your mother and so has my fiance, but even though I am not your mother you will listen and respect me regardless, now there is tension between me and the 9 year old girl
Any help would be appreciated.