Rules for using the phone

[GracesMama]

My second grade daughter received her first personal phone call from a friend from school today. Her friend left a message, so we had a discussion about proper phone etiquette, and I told her she could return her call. Well, I got busy putting the baby down for a nap, and discovered DD in her room, door closed, on the phone, acting all secretive. It just didn't feel right, so I made her get off the phone after a 5 minute warning.

I guess my question is, what rules do you have for talking on the phone with friends? It just seems weird to have my 7 1/2 year old on the phone with anyone other than grandparents or other extended family. This is new territory for me.

[mtiger]

Well... We haven't had a landline in nearly 10 years, so... But when we did (back when my kids were the age of your daughter), the only real rules I had were:

* We do not answer the phone at meal times.

* The kids were not to get phone calls after 9pm.

* If I was expecting a call - OR told them they needed to get off the phone for any reason - then were to do so w/o argument.
 

I really didn't worry too much about their being on the phone in their rooms, etc. But neither of them were huge phone people. Until, of course, they got cell phones.

[Fortune Teller]

7 1/2 seems young to be talking on the phone (imo).  My 13yo just started using the phone this year, and we set limitations.  Already it can be obnoxious at times.  I would suggest keeping the phone gabbing out of the picture for as long as possible!  

[One_Girl]

Our only rule is that we don't call past 8. I remember talking to friends on our landline as a kid so I have never had a problem with her talking on the phone.

[crunchy_mommy]

What's weird about talking on the phone? How is it any different than hanging out with a friend at recess or something?

DS is only 4yo so we're not totally there yet but even at this age, he talks a bit to his best friend and some others. It has never occurred to me that phone use should be limited or restricted to family. I feel like I'm missing something?

[purplerose]

I would set a limit on how late people are allowed to call your house (ours was ten pm for the older kids). With some kids, you may need to set limits on how many times a day they can call! Some kids will call repeatedly until you answer...these are kids with their own cell phones at age 8 and apparantly their parents don't pay attention to what they are doing.

I have absolutely no problem with kids talking on the phone and can't imagine what problem there would be(besides not having limits) Mine were talking on the phone as toddlers to their grandparents and uncles!

[mamazee]

I wouldn't have a problem with a kid of any age talking on the phone. It doesn't seem any different than talking in person. However, I would expect them to only talk on it between certain hours, and not camp out on the phone for ages. I would be less worried about a 7.5-year-old talking privately than a teenager, honestly. LOL. Maybe I remember my teenage years too well, but there's only so much trouble a 7-year-old is likely to be brewing up on the phone.

[mumkimum]

I would let her talk for some time - maybe have a general max time (like 30 min) and ask she be in a more general community place, mainly for the courtesy of in case anyone else needed the phone - so they can find it and ask. I wouldn't find the privacy too weird - I always hated talking on the phone around anyone else. But, not like there are cords making the phone user easy to find.
This is mainly out of knowing my dd's tendency of being on the phone counting to 100 or making weird noises and putting it down places without turning it off and not feeling like that should go too much beyond 30 min, and wanting the phone not getting lost either.

[meemee]

see i dont find secretive bad. we dont hear any of their conversations with their friends on the playground, so why should we listen to it on the phone. i can see why a child would want privacy. they end up doing silly things anyways. 

dd has had her own phone since she was 5. she is 10 now and her phone has never been an issue. i cant remember when i even thought of her being inappropriate on the phone. i dont think we said anything specific. 

dd has been skyping her best friend since she was quite young. they'd exchange gaming tricks and just do silly things. they'd be on it for hours and 7 and 8. 

at 10 its more texting and finding out about homework and playdates. 

[newmainer]

my daughter is a talker, and the phone thing hasn't really hit her group of friends yet (she's 4th grade) but when she does, i mostly monitor just because I think maybe the friend can't get a word in edgewise!! 

i would also not have calls after 8p... but thats' about it. and she won't be getting a cell phone until high school, minimum.