or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Baby › Babywearing › Have I missed the baby-wearing boat?
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Have I missed the baby-wearing boat?

post #1 of 9
Thread Starter 
Hi everyone, first time on the forum so do forgive me if I make any mistakes in etiquette.

I have very recently come across Attachement Parenting and I'm so relieved - it's everything I've been doing (or being trying to do) because its what feels intuitively right.

Annoyingly, up until now I've been fighting my natural instincts with a lot of things - so putting baby down on play mat, trying to stimulate her, feeling guilty for be sharing and generally carrying her all the time!

Now I've discovered baby wearing I've introduced the sling. Problem is my 12 week old daughter doesn't like it! She tolerates both the "flex" from mamas and papas an the bjorn fine if I'm out and about. Very occasionally she'll be okay at home, but only when I'm walking about. Mostly she struggles an thrashes in it. wont let me sit down with her, unless its specifically to play with her. she needs to be constantly walked. this is obviously tiring, but it means we cant eat as a couple at the same time. do i just need to accept this is how it is for now?

Part of me thinks I should persist, but I feel I'm not being sensitive to her needs to do this - I don't want to make her cry! Is it too late - have I missed the baby-wearing boat?
post #2 of 9
Neither of mine will tolerate me sitting down for very long while wearing them either. I sometimes have some success with perching on the edge of the chair and making sure their feet are still dangling. But realistically, I can only wear them to sit and eat if they're fast asleep. And they don't like me leaning forward for too long either so doing dishes etc is often punctuated by little walks around the kitchen.

I'm not familiar with the first carrier you mentioned but the Bjorns tend to have quite a narrow base (although I believe the newer model is better) which doesn't support the legs out to the knees. If you find your LO isn't tolerating it well it may be discomfort due to this.

I definitely don't think you've missed to boat, it can just take a while to work out what each baby likes and doesn't like.

All the best and welcome to MDC.
post #3 of 9

I had a similar situation when wearing my son at about the same age.  When I would move around while wearing him, he was fine, but when I would try to sit down and do anything, he'd fuss unless he was sleeping.  Usually I'd do housework or go for a walk until he fell asleep, then once he was sleeping I could catch up on email, etc. while wearing him.


Also, it may be an issue with the particular type of carrier you are using.  My son was very particular.  At 12 weeks, he hated ring slings, but loved being in the moby wrap, which was my favorite at that age.  He also liked the ergo, but only when I had him in a front carry and not on my back.  You may want to experiment with different types of carriers and positions to see what she prefers.  It sounds like she has definite preferences.

post #4 of 9

I have a similar experience.  When I'm wearing my little guy (now 5 months, but this has been true at least since he was 3 months) I am simply NOT allowed to be still, much less sit.  Even out running errands, I basically dance in place if I have to stand and, say, look for a product on a shelf for more than 2 seconds.  I still love to wear him and I weigh less than I did pre-pregnancy, undoubtedly because of so regularly moving.


Regarding eating: My hubby and I now only eat together if we happen to time dinner with LO's evening cat nap, which he takes in a swing, or if he's in a good independent play type of mood.  But, shoot, I feel lucky if I even get to eat sitting down, so I'll take what I can get for now.  They're only babies once.


Oh, and I wear a Boba wrap mostly.  Have an Ergo hubby sometimes carts him around in.

post #5 of 9

I was never under the impression that carrying in regards to attachment parenting meant to carry the baby all the time, and I know my daughter certainly will not go for that. :)


She did begin to protest the sling at around five weeks, which was the same time she developed more control of her head. I figured it was just too confining for her to be snuggled against me like that and she preferred having the freedom to squirm and turn and move about, so I let her alone. Now, she's four months and is fine going in the sling if it's necessary (walks, errands, etc.), but still likes to have plenty of time on her own. She started to army crawl shortly after turning four months old, so I think her preference for independence is simply her disposition.


I agree with katelove. It may be a phase. It's also possible that she'd prefer not to be carried like that.


Another thing I've noticed is she will begin to anticipate and accept what is offered to her. When I first became a mom, I was given all sorts of swings, bouncy chairs, etc. Initially, she would cry in them, but I persevered and day after day would offer her time in these contraptions. Sure enough, she became willing to sit in these seats for longer and longer periods of time. I'm pretty sure if I kept at it with the sling, despite her protests, she would've eventually gone along with that, too. Instead I listened to her and accommodated her preference to not be constantly carried or sat in any sort of infant seat.

post #6 of 9
My son wasn't a huge fan of being worn until about 4-5 months. You have to just go with what they like. Still, a few ideas:

Try the moby wrap? It's soft.
Also, no baby likes to sit with you. Sitting sucks, and being walked around is awesome. Still, sometimes you can fool them by getting an enormous fitness ball and sitting on that, and bouncing while you sit.
post #7 of 9
Thread Starter 
Thanks so much, these replies have really clarified my thinking. Attachement parenting I guess is about following your child's needs, and sometimes that means being free of me :-)

I will have av experiment with other types of sling too.
post #8 of 9

My experience was identical: Jack loved being in a Mei Tei, but haaaated the Moby :) Then we got into soft structured carriers (like the Ergo) and he loved it... but only in a back carry.  There are often baby-wearing groups that have libraries of different carriers which you can try out with your baby for a while. I will say that most babies aren't open to being sat with while being worn -- mine never was.  But, sometimes they are ok with being held on your lap while you eat :) 

post #9 of 9
Originally Posted by LorienIslay View Post

I will say that most babies aren't open to being sat with while being worn -- mine never was.  But, sometimes they are ok with being held on your lap while you eat :)


My daughter is 18 months now and still hates being carried/worn while I'm sitting and she LOVES being "up". She does like to be in my lap for eating because then she can share...if she feels like it. Mostly it's to make a mess. :)


I personally desperately want a mei tai so I can carry her on my back (easily and safely), which she thinks is a blast when I've been able to attempt it with the moby wrap and evenflo carrier. 

New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Babywearing
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Baby › Babywearing › Have I missed the baby-wearing boat?