Identity politics are complex, and that might be an understatement. I totally understand the flustered feeling. Thinking too much about it causes me anxiety, like pulling at a loose thread on a sweater. Embodiment, socio-cultural assignments, privilege and consequence...... and then it sounds like I'm in a graduate seminar and my head explodes.
I think Raising My Boychick is a great blog, but I sometimes find it overly pedagogical / teachy. It is not very accessible to people who aren't already thinking about these challenges, and it can be overwhelming even for those who are. That said, the blog is a great window into how one person raises their children in a neutral way. Ultimately I do believe that the process starts just like that---- at home, within the family, and with open discussion and teaching that enables kiddos to express their own preferences and develop compassion and understanding for all.
This thread will benefit from any and all participants! From those who chose not to find out the sex "just because" to those who are intentionally pursuing gender-neutral thinking, to those of us (like you) who know the sex but are also pondering the meaning of colors/themes when it comes to our child's identity.
Oh, and not to over share resources, but here's a great book written by a friend. It's called "Pink and Blue: Telling the Boys from the Girls in America"
You might enjoy it!
Also-- BEARANDOTTER--- We very clearly told our tech at our 20 week u/s that we didn't want to know the news. I closed my eyes for most of it and only peeked when she could guarantee genital-free shots. She was great about warning me to turn away as she moved the imaging around. Since it wasn't a medical necessity for her to look for the bits, she didn't even actually bother spending time looking for anything other than the important measurements. She didn't put anything on our records. Hope all goes well for you tomorrow!