I spend the majority of my day reading through old posts about DPs urging moms to pump so they can be "part" of the feeding process. This was initiated because DP and I had a "disagreement" on this very issue this weekend. (I knew it would come up sooner or later, he brought home a breast pump in the 1st trimester...)
I'm 100% against this. I feel it goes against what Mother Nature intended. I feel the LO could get confused this way. I also feel it's part of an overall need of men to "control" as this is one of the few things they are completely UNABLE to do (breastfeed.) And not that DP is controlling, quite the opposite, but I feel personally attacked as a woman that a man wants me to do extra work so he is able to do what ONLY I can do.
But I'm also going to be a first time mom. I'm willing to admit I could be wrong. Speaking of "controlling", that word fits with me much more than with DP... I don't want to come across as a controlling bitch in this situation, but I honestly don't feel that one parent has to feed the baby to be connected to the baby.
I'm trying to put myself in his shoes - I'd probably be jealous that my body didn't make nourishment for the baby, but happy to be in awe of my partner's body that did. And I'd make sure I got to do the snuggling afterwards. I really don't think I'd push this issue, that I'd recognize it as part of the master design of the female body. I really do believe I wouldn't push this issue.
And of course there's the LIST of other activities that DP can do with LO to "bond" - if this is even about bonding. Baths, massage, reading, cuddling, diapering, dressing - I wouldn't dream of interfering with any of that.
It seems so UNNATURAL to ME (I'm not assuming all women feel this way) to go through the EXTRA steps of pumping to do something I was MADE to do. To put plastic in a baby's mouth when I'm in the house...
It would be different if I was going back to work or had some other activity that took me away from baby and out of the house, but I'll be off work for a year minimum...
And who knows? Maybe there'll be other difficulties that make pumping needed? I'm not saying "under no circumstances am I ever going to use a pump" but not just so DP gets to feed LO.
Basically, am asking if I'm crazy... Ok, truthfully, I'm not even doing that, I've read enough posts to know that I'm not alone in my thinking. I'm looking more for support. Does anyone else feel like this?