A little over a year ago I stopped contact with my father (story can be found here). Since then the relationship with my mother has been disintegrating. We hardly ever talk and when we do she drops hints of how I need to drop things and get back into a relationship with my dad. Recently on Facebook and in emails she's been talking about how she wants to see the entire family together before she dies (she's not even sick or anything). These messages are usually broadly sent to the entire family, so she never really singles me out.
According to my siblings it seems the family, as a unit, acts like I died. When they all get together they never speak of me, The Hubby, or our kids. Even though we live only 4 hours away from the main family my siblings never visit me. Before the falling out with my dad I visited my family a minimum of 4 times a year, even with young babies that hated car seats. I've even taken the train to visit when my car wasn't working! Only one of my sisters has come to visit, but she will only come if she can combine it with a business trip. Once she was committed in coming, but once the business end fell through she told me, "There's no reason in coming anymore." It makes me feel like a hotel service.
To add to the family distress I've recently left my natal religion, Latter-Day Saint. I haven't openly said anything to my mother about it because she is very manipulative when it comes to The Church. But it just drives more of a wedge between us.
Part of me is actually relieved to not have much of a relationship with my mom right now. Even though she was the less toxic of my two parents I have a lot of hurt within me that was perpetrated by her. I've tried to talk to her about it but her reaction varies wildly. During one conversation she did admit she should have done things differently, like divorcing my abusive father. But then the next conversation she'll talk about how she did the best she could and she's happy with how things went because we're stronger for it.
Anyways, I was just wondering if anyone else had lost both of their parents to estrangement once they cut a toxic parent out of their life.