My partner and I have conceived every time I've ovulated and we've had unprotected sex... so that's why we're going extreme this time as we're done having kids. Fertility is a blessing for sure and I never forget that some couples struggle. But I'm ready to not be so fertile! Although there's a really scary thread on MDC about getting pregnant after your partner's had a vasectomy :(. It's rare but it happens!
Postpartum Birth Control - Page 2
Oh, let's not talk about this while all of us are nearly 40 weeks pregnant and getting to the "get this baby out of me!" stage.
Haha! Us, too! We'd *diligently* used NFP for the first two years of our marriage- so, no spontaneous sex, ever, pretty much. It worked really really well for us in delaying pregnancy, which we were grateful for because my husband is in med school and we weren't sure whether or not we should take the plunge now or wait until some vague future date after residency.
Cue last May, a few days before my birthday. I knew there was a chance I was entering my fertile phase... but we decided to throw caution to the wind JUST THIS ONCE, hedging our bets a little bit. My husband told me as we were climbing into bed that night, "I bet you're pregnant". I was doubtful because I had had lingering worries about infertility. (For no particular reason other than that I really view fertility as a gift and wasn't totally convinced it would come so easily for us given that many couples have to try for several cycles before conceiving). Well, happy birthday to me because I *was* pregnant on the first try!
We were stoked, though. That's what we love about NFP- that it forces partners to really get on the same page when it comes to managing fertility, instead of pushing all responsibility on one person or the other. Every month we had to have the same, in-the-heat-of-the-passionate-moment discussion: "do we want to delay pregnancy? achieve pregnancy? take a chance?" which I think has really benefited our marriage in terms of our sexuality and views on fertility. That month, obviously the answer was "take a chance!" and we left it up to a higher power to decide.
I also was worried I wouldn't be able to get pregnant, but then I got pregnant right away both times I tried - once in 2005 and back in May. We moved out of our smaller semi (duplex in the US) and into our new house that has plenty of room for kids on May 25, and I'm pretty sure we got pregnant that night :)
It's one of reasons I'm pretty sure of how many weeks along I am, even though baby is measuring at 40wks 5days already according to ultrasound and fundal height, I find it unlikely that I would get pregnant "by accident" after NOT getting pregnant for years AND years only 2 weeks before we actually TRIED to get pregnant.
We are pretty sure we want another one after this little guy, in part because of the big age gap - our two girls are 7 and 8, and in part because both of our daughters are not always here - one only every other weekend and the other 50% of the time.
DH is concerned that we're going to be too old when the babies grow up. He's 42 and I'm 38. So ... all that to say I don't think we'll be preventing at all. With DD my fertility returned at 7 months PP and I think we could deal with that spacing, even though it is close.
We experienced some MAJOR marital difficulties last year and came way too close to separating, and I got pregnant in the middle of it (I had had my Mirena IUD removed earlier in the year to TTC, and I had an early miscarriage, after which DH decided he didn't want any more kids and our marital issues flared up -- but not because of his decision to have no more kids. Then we weren't really using protection ... so I wouldn't exactly say this baby was a surprise.). Things are much better, and we are working very hard to heal our marriage and become better people, but along the way we decided that this was our last baby, no matter what. I never wanted more than three kids anyway, and we figured it wouldn't be good for our marriage, should it continue to struggle, if something (God forbid) happened to this baby. So yes, we made the controversial decision for DH to have a V before this baby is even born. I told him I would not go back on hormonal birth control, because lack of sex drive was one of the contributing factors to our marriage problems. NFP and similar methods are not for us, so a V it was.
I successfully did NFP before DD was born for about 1 1/2 years but it took one "oops" to get pregnant with her (I ovulated really late and was traveling so my signs were a little off). After she was born my cycle statyed away for 6 months during which time we used condoms just in case I ovulated early. Then I used NFP from the time she was born until trying to get pregnant this go around (about 4.5 years). We switched from using condoms to pull out during the fertile period and that really worked for us. I utilize fertility friend online and do BBT and that seems to be the most effective for me even with lack of sleep. It was acutally very useful to have my charts for this pregnancy because I ovulated late again (day 21) and would have had a very different due date had I gone by LMP alone. I think we will use this method again. I am definitely not sure if we are done yet but I do like having more spacing in between. Obviously the major downside of NFP is that if you mess up your chances of getting pregnant are very good as opposed to other hormonal methods but that is a risk I am okay with for now. I think when we are really done DH will get the big V.
I have known many people who have the paraguard (copper) IUD and absolutely love it because they get protection without the hormones. I think the main complaint is increased bleeding but I haven't known anyone who has had major problems.
i started charting again when my flow got light enough, about 5 days ago. my midwife has pretty much said we're good til six weeks, my Creighton Model instructor said 8 weeks, and my husband said 'why don't you stop bleeding so we can use this time better!!!'- he's pretty much counting down and checking in daily to see where we stand. in the past, i've stopped bleeding as early as 3 weeks, but this time around it looks like it will be more like 4-5 weeks!
i alternate between being terrified of ever having sex again, to being really really ready to quit this bleeding nonsense.
anyone else struggling w/ fear of another pregnancy?
we don't know if we're done, we do know we're not ready for a while.
i'm co-sleeping, ecologically breastfeeding (which has worked for about 6 months to delay ovulation for me)- but i did get pregnant w/ an exclusively breastfed 10 month old who co-slept as well. that's really hard. we were also using a barrier method at the time. part of me just has to say that that baby was gonna happen no matter what!
and moms who chart- when are you starting and what are you using? (FAM, NFP, Creighton, etc)
I alternate between wanting another and feeling ok with being done. DH wants to go in for the big V, but I asked him to wait for at least a few months. I don't ever get fertility/ AF back until at least 14 months... I know things can change, but I am not feeling threatened right now.
DH doesn't trust charting this time since he is feeling done and doesn't want to have an oops.
I have to say that even though I am having this darn unusual bleeding, I was ready to jump DH this morning.... DS woke just at that time and stopped anything before it could happen, but I am feeling ready (body is saying otherwise, since I had more bright red bleeding this morning.... Arghhhh)
4weeks pp and still spotting here. Every time I think it's done I get heavier spotting.
I'm ready to start dtd again, but feeling DRY so will have to keep the coconut oil handy. We've been fooling around some, which is really nice-to get that kind of attention, just nothing internal.
both of us are 100% done with babies, so will be looking into the V some time soon. Until then DH will withdraw and in the past I don't ovulate for the first year or so.
we have been using condoms, i don't understand charting and don't trust it, especially since it only took us a week of trying to get pregnant before.
i'm terrified of getting pregnant again, but my SIL wants to be pregnant at the same time next july. it'll be her first. we'll see. i'm still on the fence about another baby, i would prefer just one child but hubby throws a fit.
i have been diligently and religiously charting.
we have used condoms a few times, b/c of traveling. turns out we do pretty well w/ charting and abstinence when hubby is around and we're on the same page, but after he travels for a few days and comes back, it takes time to settle back in and then we sometimes take the barrier option.
i hate condoms. i really do trust the charting method i'm using and will be using it for the foreseeable future. we're both still on the fence about having more kids, but know we want to wait between 3 and 5 years! by then, we hope to be on one side of the fence.
if we have another oops, hubby will get snipped. i know we can't enthusiastically handle another 5 in 7 years!
but i'm getting transferred to a NaPro (catholic/natural family planning) dr who is very holistic, and hope to get all the little things worked out so that charting will be easier and have extended abstinence. i'm really excited about that actually, i have horrible PMS and suspect other things are off, but no Dr. has offered anything other than the pill or drugs. this dr is very much into naturally balancing a woman's hormones and the thought of having regular cycles (mine have been between 35-65 days long) and not having a week of PMS just sounds so wonderful!
I also really hate condoms and DO NOT want another baby for a few years so I've been on progesterone-only bc since about 9 weeks pp. While I'm starting to see how it might not be so crazy to want babies closer together than I had originally planned, we simply could not afford paying daycare for two children at the same time at a rate of $1000/month each. DH would have to quit his job and be a stay-at-home husband since I make way more money than he does and he would be terrible at it. The childcare part would be fine but the man simply doesn't feel the need to clean anything ever.
Our plan right now is to wait until DD is at least a bit older than 3 to start trying again. This way she'll be around 4 when the baby is born and 5 (starting school) by the time my mat leave runs out. It already makes me sad that that will probably be the last one but at least I have a couple years left of knowing I'll be (hopefully) getting pregnant/giving birth again.
Teles- I hate condoms too... we just don't use them this early in the game, but like I said, I have not ovulated before 15 months and I am pretty comfortable doing nothing at this point.
If I was to have another baby, I think I would want almost 3 years between them... I like the just over 2 years between DD1 and DD2, but everything has felt so rushed and I am having a hard time really embracing and honoring each of their stages.... this is just me and I think lots of moms can do it.... I just have a hard time.
I think though, DH will be getting snipped just after Christmas.... we have not really talked about it, but he DOES NOT want another baby.
DH and I have relied on the idea of ecological bf-ing thus far, but I know it's not reliable past 6 month pp, so yeah....
I'm thinking I need to hardcore brush up on Creighton or another sympto based method because before baby we primarily did
Eesh. Not wanting another baby for at least another two years. Well, I go back and forth. Part of me wants a super close sib for Margot, but part of me is TERRIFIED of more sleep deprivation, being depressed again, and still not having a good support system.
waywornwanderer- i ended up w/ creighton b/c breastfeeding made thermal shift impossible. my creighton instructor sent me to this Dr. i just filled out the paperwork last night. it is hard to find dr's who are specializing in helping women heal and avoid hormonal birth control! i'll keep you posted, but getting a creighton instructor is a great step to finding what dr's work w/ NaPro!
it doesn't necessarily mean closer w/ each kid. but at 6 months, i take BC very very seriously. but i always have a cycle around then. no matter my weight, how many kids i'm nursing, etc. LAM is 98% up to 6 months, but after that, you can ovulate before a period. so i don't take it lightly! and the V is a few months of condoms too, from what i read.....
so not to scare you, i think you know your body and can tell when it's gearing up toward cycling. but i did find my 3rd and 4th both snuck in when they shouldn't have.