A little vent...husband has no sympathy. - Page 2 « Back to Group Discussions

[tillymonster]

Yeah how about pins on pregnancy massage by husbands?!?! Mine sure could use some tips. He had back pain the other day and I just rolled my eyes. Mine was so bad I went to urgent care to be sure I wasn't pregnant. Which of course I was. He means well and has been very sweet but I'd love a compliment every once in a while. Like "you are just glowing!" would suffice. Other ppl have said that.

[thefreckledmama]

Originally Posted by aidenn 

That's amazing that yours uses Pinterest, but I'd prefer he use the powers for good and not for evil!  

Oh, he doesn't just use it, he's obsessed. He currently has over 7 THOUSAND pins. I'm actually amazed he manages to get as much done in a day as he does. Lol

[aimfatale]

My husband was so good to me the first time around but this time he's really not being as supportive as I expected -- but he honestly thinks he is. And this time I need more help because I'm more tired and have a toddler so much more to do. He injured his leg at soccer a few weeks ago and was asking me to rub it for him. Meanwhile, I was constantly telling him how drained and sick I felt and it was like it didn't even register. All he could think about was his own misery. :( Nope, they do not get it.

[joanatron]

My SO is good most of the time.  It is mostly because earlier on I was upset and he said, "calm down, you're being hormonal." Explosion ensued.  He has been really good since then.  He cooks for me as long as I tell him what I want (because of food aversions that seem to change every day), but the house is a mess and I've done laundry once since the new year.  

[aimfatale]

When I complained to my sister she sent me this article for him to read. I nagged him for two days to read it. I think he did but he didn't take it to heart, or in his mind he's "already doing that." Psssht, yeah, okay. "If food smells bother you, have someone else do the cooking." Mmm hmmm. "If you are bothered by morning sickness, have your spouse get you some toast or crackers and eat them in bed and wait ten minutes before getting up." Hahahaha... even if he would, my toddler would have none of that. Oh, hark -- is that the sound of dishes being put away from the dishwasher?? Holy cow, it's my lucky day!
 

http://gotmanswers.blogspot.ca/2009/02/helping-your-pregnant-wife.html

[serena76]

Aimfatale- I emailed it to my DB and I got the reply "what a load of ****" 😡

[MamaMash]

Serena I would be PISSED. I read it and loved it. I don't dare have my dh read it because he has actually been awesome with helping around the house. He does all the laundry, except dd's because I like to do hers. Has done the dishes and kept the whole house picked up the last few weeks. But, surprisingly he still seems annoyed that I don't feel at all like myself. The ms seems to be easing up a bit. But, I'm still exhausted and queasy and just not myself and he doesn't have any compassion for that. If I say anything about it he basically rolls his eyes or doesn't acknowledge what I said 😕

[vc2013]

Originally Posted by manhattanmamma 

I'm exhausted and his idea of going above and beyond is putting the dishes away two weeks ago.

That sounds like my fiancé. I'm having the hardest time getting him to take care of the kitty litter - it sits around for weeks and he knows I'm not supposed to handle it!

I told him I need him to help out more though I'm appreciating what he already does. He told me to just tell him what I ant him to do. So today I told him we have loads of laundry to do, then told him exactly what I wanted him to do. He got stuck in the middle of load 1, even after hinting at it hours later the laundry is still sitting in the washer waiting to be out into the dryer.

It might be a bit funny, but it's also exhausting - I don't want to upset him and I feel super lazy but honestly I just can't take care of all these things right now.

[aimfatale]

So much for the "new man" wha? Seriously they just don't get it.  The other night dh wanted some pistachios. When he wants something but doesn't want to go get it he tries to convince me I want it too. I said I didn't feel like pistachios. I wanted a bowl of shreddies. He kept saying "why don't you just try some?" So I said "why don't you try being pregnant?" And went to get my shreddies. He called after me, "can you get me some pistachios while you're out there?" I told him to get them himself. And then he wanted a bite of my shreddies! 

[vc2013]

anyone else's guy revert to a teenager while you're expecting? 

my man suddenly needs to have a lot of band practice, he says he wants to play a show before the baby comes. he's on band practice twice a week, which involves alcohol and (i think) weed. then he has to drive home in the dark on a windy road and he always smells of alcohol when he comes home. i thought we could make an agreement where he doesn't stay out too long and makes sure he sobers up before driving, but i think he's throwing that out the window. last night he went when i had my worst day in terms of nausea so far. he said he wouldn't be staying long and we agreed he'd check his phone in case i feel worse and need him to come home. also we're meeting the first midwife this morning and we still need to clean the house. 

he came home at 1.30am, drunk, ignored my calls and texts so when i actually did feel worse, i didn't get any response for HOURS. and now it's time to get up but my man needs his sleep and is probably hungover.. i'm embarrassed by the way the house looks, and i'm furious about his immature, selfish behavior.

i'm trying my best not to explode on him, he did apologize when i confronted him last night.. i'm still angry though, and i know in a couple days he will want to go back over again. WHY is it that i'm wanting to prepare for the baby by getting the house all nice and ready while he reverts to an earlier developmental stage? i think he's scared he might miss out on his youth, the man is 32 and i'm not having any of that talk - this is a planned pregnancy.

[CDsMom1031]

Yep. Happened with my last pregnancy, too. Suddenly he had to go out all the time and misses his friends dearly, who he rarely talked to before. It annoys me, but when he goes out, I get more sleep, so I get over it.

[MamaMash]

My husband did that with my last pregnancy. Reverted to his teenage ways. Even smoked some weed which is a HUGE no in my book. HUGE. I was irate. He eventually got better a hasn't done that since. But this time he just has a lack of compassion or understanding. Men.

[MamaMash]

My husband did that with my last pregnancy. Reverted to his teenage ways. Even smoked some weed which is a HUGE no in my book. HUGE. I was irate. He eventually got better a hasn't done that since. But this time he just has a lack of compassion or understanding. Men.

[serena76]

My DB has reverted to going out lots, having to see his friends all the time and basically being young and single. He tells me I shouldn't nag and cut him some slack! If we argue about it he ignores me coz its my hormones! He makes me sooo mad😡

[tillymonster]

I hear ya Serena. My DH and I have been fighting a lot because of money and jobs and UGH. I am so mad at him right now. He took DD out ALL day and gets home at 8pm. Of course she slept in the car which is bad news for bedtime for me. Then-- we get into it again and he storms off to no doubt, a bar. DD keeps asking where he is! UGH!

Men have it good. We get to sit here, with a headache from crying, a constant tummy growling or gurgling, not able to drink, smoke, even freaking get into a hot tub and what do men get? Oh boo. They have to "deal" with hormones and go have drinks over it. Poor poor guys! I FEEL FOR THEM!

... NOT ...

Ok vent over...

[tillymonster]

Originally Posted by MamaMash 

My husband did that with my last pregnancy. Reverted to his teenage ways. Even smoked some weed which is a HUGE no in my book. HUGE. I was irate. He eventually got better a hasn't done that since. But this time he just has a lack of compassion or understanding. Men.

OMIGOD MamaMash... this sounds like mine too. What's up with that? Yeah the lack of understanding is really getting to me, I feel very alone and *hate* that I'm thinking for even a second I don't want to be pregnant. But I am.

[MamaMash]

It's obnoxious huh Tilly! I felt better yesterday for the most part and tried to get the kitchen clean, but did he notice? No of course not. The only thing he notices is what I'm not doing. Also, he notices how big my boobs are and how much it sucks he can't play with them. I know I should be flattered but it's just annoying. He gawks at me like a teenage boy.

[cmu204]

No, MamaMash, when your man starts acting like a teenaged boy it is not flattering; it would p*ss me off! You are right to be annoyed. You're going to have a child -- you don't need your partner to act like one.

[MamaMash]

Thank you cmu! I thought maybe my hormones were getting the best of me. But seriously, he gawks. And I hate it. I don't feel sexy, even with my big boobs. I don't want to talk about them all the time. I don't want you to sit up in bed and stare when I change into my sports bra. Ugh. Why do men regress back into teenagers while we are going through one of those most challenging, albeit beautiful, times of our lives.

[vc2013]

Maybe that's why nature invented couvading. my teenage man was struck down by strange nausea and other symptoms.. Since last week he's been good. Band practice at our house today for a change. Has been cleaning a bit and most importantly, has been taking care of calling midwives and OBs to make and cancel appointments on my behalf. I'm really grateful for that.. As long as it may last!