My partner has evolved in this area. I think it took a while for him to really register he was going to be a dad, hearing the baby's heartbeat for the first time at 15 weeks helped. At first he kinda acted like I was exagerating the nausea, the difficult time sleeping, the cravings, etc. But then some friends of his from work who have kids came over with their wives and the two women only wanted to talk about pregnancy and chattered about how it takes men a while but they need to understand that they have to spoil their partners while they're pregnant. And the men quietly agreed. I think it helped my man understand a lot better because now he is totally spoiling me and taking care of me and indulging my tantrums. Right now we are going through a rough time because his mother is in the ICU. It is actually reversed now and I am spoiling him. It feels like the only thing to do at a moment like this that is totally outside of our control. But the switch of who's spoiling who has been effortless and natural.
my man is getting better at it, too. same as with you lilmamita, the day we heard the heartbeat for the first time at 11wks we went home and he started cleaning the house till 4am.
i wouldn't say he is spoiling me, but he does take care of the majority of household chores since i'm still feeling miserable every single day when i get home from work (i'll be 16wks tomorrow). this also means the house is not as clean as i'd like it, but he's really doing his best, i think. i am also surprised how much he seems to be talking about our pregnancy with his friends and band mates. he never seems "too" affected when i talk about it with him, but apparently then he goes and talks to other people about it.. i guess he has a different way of taking information in and dealing with it.
i have a book recommendation for you guys -- my fiancé's dad just sent us
David Port & John Ralston:
The Caveman's Pregnancy Companion: A Survival Guide for Expectant Fathers
it is very funny, but accurate (i would say). i especially liked how it talks about good habits to develop and bad habits to drop.. my man is guilty of some of those.