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Question about sleep training for those with experience or lack of - Page 2

post #21 of 35

I felt my babies really benefited from a regular sequence of what happened in their day, and it helped them fall into a routine (ie not a hard and fast schedule, a routine, a flow). I only had to put a little effort in doing the same sequence of eating, sleeping, interacting, etc, and they responded by getting in a groove. It was flexible, but the couple days I worked on it, we just hung around so I could get a rhythm down.  My kids have always been flexible when it comes to staying up later, falling sleep in the car, etc. but I have also respected their need to sleep in their beds overall.

post #22 of 35

Its great that you are thinking about this, but wait and see how your baby is. DS will not keep a schedule, and I've finally come to terms with it in the last couple months and been much happier. the first 6 weeks or so, DS would not sleep during the day at home, so I started visiting friends where he would sleep just fine (maybe I was more relaxed, but whatever it was, it worked). At that time, he was also sleeping 4-5 hours on his own at night. For several weeks at 6 months, he didn't sleep during the day at all. he eats every two hours day or night at the moment - full feedings, not just waking up to nurse for a couple minutes. Every time I figure out a schedule, it changes.

 

I'm going to be looking into a PP comment about high needs babies - I think I have one. I think most babies sleep if you create a sleep environment, as described by a PP or in no cry sleep solution. but there are some that have trouble sleeping, and naps are the starting point for any daytime schedule.

post #23 of 35

I think it really comes down to your baby's temperment.  When my DD was born, she absolutely would not sleep but on someone's chest.  I had planned to co-sleep, so this wasn't an issue for me.  In retrospect, I would have preferred to have a co-sleeper to at least *try* to lay her down on her own sometimes.  But here we are, a year later, and she is very much still dependent on me to sleep.  It's ok for the most part, except for the nights where she's up every hour it seems.  But I do think that unless you have a really great sleeper, some sleepless nights are par the course of having a baby.  I would say to read up on the gentle sleep training techniques and have seperate sleeping situations like a co-sleeper just to have all your options open, and then be willing to follow your baby's needs.

post #24 of 35
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sol_y_Paz View Post

Quote:
Originally Posted by Loogiejane View Post

I am never in the car, as we do not own one, and we live a very walking lifestyle. Anything I could ever need I walk to get. It would be hard to feel locked up in the house since I can walk one block in any direction and have anything at my finger tips.
The fresh air sounds nice.  Invest in a baby carrier (we love the Ergo around here, but maybe a Moby might work better for a newborn) and that sounds perfect for getting out and about with your baby. 
Another reason I am not a fan of super strict schedules, I like to have my baby with me to go places during the day, it is nice when baby is flexible and easy to take along.  

I agree, it sounds like a baby carrier would suit your lifestyle very well.
post #25 of 35
Thread Starter 

Indeed, I plan to have a wrap of some kind and an ergo perhaps for when babe is bigger. I'll probably use a stroller too for when I need to do a food shop and carry (err....put bags on the bottom of the stroller) it all home. Or a stroller for if I'm going to be out for half the day and can't/don't want to carry all the stuff I'd have to bring with me in addition to having babe wrapped on me. 

post #26 of 35
Quote:
Originally Posted by Loogiejane View Post

 

We live in an amazing neighborhood in Brooklyn and there is live outdoor, free music 3 blocks from our apartment in the summer. DH and I take full advantage. It's usually a once a week thing in the summer, sometimes less. We can bring in our own food and wine and see great music sitting under the trees in the evening while the lightening bugs are out. This is something DH and I can't wait to be able to do with a little baby because it's walking distance and easy with just one little babe. It's not something I could imagine giving up because I had to be home at a certain time. I'd sit on my blanket and nurse, and if babe falls asleep, he falls asleep.

 

 

Yeah, I think I know where you live :) - I lived there myself for a few years!

I had fantasies of being the BoBo mama who slung her kid everywhere, and carted her to all these cool cafes and events... HAHAHAHA. It turns out my daughter gets way overstimulated in those places, and while she's usually good in public, she will NOT sleep there. She can only last outside the house for so long, or we all pay for it for the 24 hours following.

This is not to invalidate your ideas, just to provide another point of view! It's possible your child WILL be one of those kids who can sleep anywhere - but I would hate for you to depend upon that, and start feeling resentment and "cabin fever" if it doesn't happen.

post #27 of 35
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by glassesgirlnj View Post

 

 

Yeah, I think I know where you live :) - I lived there myself for a few years!

I had fantasies of being the BoBo mama who slung her kid everywhere, and carted her to all these cool cafes and events... HAHAHAHA. It turns out my daughter gets way overstimulated in those places, and while she's usually good in public, she will NOT sleep there. She can only last outside the house for so long, or we all pay for it for the 24 hours following.

This is not to invalidate your ideas, just to provide another point of view! It's possible your child WILL be one of those kids who can sleep anywhere - but I would hate for you to depend upon that, and start feeling resentment and "cabin fever" if it doesn't happen.

Park Slope?

 

Nah I wont feel resentment. I'm a homebody anyway, and unfortunately, kind of lazy by nature. If I'm in a lot, it's fine. I just spent a year and a half taking 9 prereq courses (4.0, thank you very much) and the GRE (which I kinda bombed) and I am kinda looking forward to this year of just being with my babe and not having to be so anal about "this is how it has to be with my baby". We'll see if I even get into school but if I do, and when I do, I'll be starting Fall 2014 and it's going to be a rigorous program. I want to have the freedom of being more lax with my babe til that point. 

 

Chatted with my neighbor upstairs today. I caught a glimpse of the book she follows. It's called Contented Baby. And was asking her about it and whatnot. She does prefer that her husband can give a bottle once in the middle of the night to give her a 4 or 5 hour stretch of sleep (meaning or else she'd be up every couple hours to nurse) and I said something like "well if my baby is sleeping in my bed or in a cosleeper, I mean, I can kinda just roll over and fall asleep while nursing, etc etc and she just responded with "yeahhhh" I guess thinking it's not great sleep. She also said the method doesn't use crying it out, and her babies don't need to nurse to sooth because they're fed enough and sleep enough. Her 3 yr old and her 3 week old seem to be doing great. I guess she just doesn't have the "i love nursing my babies" vibe. I dunno...I could be totally wrong? but I feel like I will love nursing my baby. Sure it won't always be puppies and rainbows...wait, am I talking about sleeping or nursing? lol, sometimes they go hand in hand. She also said something about her routine and pumping and nursing, the schedule, etc and said "well it depends how dependent you want your baby to be on you" then we started to find ourselves on different pages but I kept positive saying I dont think I'd mind it but hey ya never know. 

 

Everyone is different. 

post #28 of 35
Side note Loogiejane:
Although I love nursing my baby now, it was rough going at first. People kept telling me that if the baby latches correctly it won't hurt. That's bull. It still hurts and a lot for the first couple of weeks. Don't let it discourage you.
post #29 of 35
Quote:
Originally Posted by Loogiejane View Post

 

Everyone is different. 

Yep.  That's why I think everyone's advice above to think about what your priorities are now but wait until you meet the baby to decide on any particular strategy is really important.  Night-nursing was a huge pain for me since I have painful letdown.  The women who told me "you don't even wake up when the baby latches" clearly had never experienced that kind of pain.  So for me, the sooner we could cut down on night nursing the better.  For other women, co-sleeping and night nursing is comforting and a wonderful thing.  You just can't know until you know who your baby is and what your body is going to be like. 

post #30 of 35
Quote:
Originally Posted by Loogiejane View Post

Park Slope?

 

Yep, I lived on 15th and PPW for a couple years in the mid-90's!  :)  (Then it got pricey and I moved to Fort Greene... then THAT got pricey... you know how it goes.) 

 

Nah I wont feel resentment. I'm a homebody anyway, and unfortunately, kind of lazy by nature. If I'm in a lot, it's fine. I just spent a year and a half taking 9 prereq courses (4.0, thank you very much) and the GRE (which I kinda bombed)

 

Woo on the GPA!  It sounds like I'm the exact opposite of you... I "test well", but my grades in college and grad school were more like 3.2 or 3.3. 

 

I feel like I will love nursing my baby. Sure it won't always be puppies and rainbows...wait, am I talking about sleeping or nursing? lol, sometimes they go hand in hand. 

 

Another cautionary tale here... when I tried to EBF my child, "boobie bootcamp" and all that, she ended up in the pediatric ER with dehydration and jaundice. :(  I hired two different IBCLCs and a postpartum doula, but breastfeeding still didn't work out for us.  So, not to scare you, but you might want to research sources of donor milk in your area, just in case you end up needing them. 

post #31 of 35
I thought nursing at night was very easy. It releases a hormone in you that makes you tired. I'm a bad sleeper and if I woke up, I knew I'd only be awake till the baby woke up again, and that I'd fall asleep nursing her.

My second baby slept through the night right away, as I said earlier, but that was fine obviously too, but waking at night wasn't a big deal for me. I think how much you hate that will depend on how much you feel your sleep is interrupted. The great thing about co-sleeping is being to just half wake-up and lean over and nurse and then fall back asleep. In fact, sometimes I'd wake up to find her latched on and nursing. At some age she seemed to be able to find what she needed on her own.
post #32 of 35
Thread Starter 

 

Yep, I lived on 15th and PPW for a couple years in the mid-90's!  :)  (Then it got pricey and I moved to Fort Greene... then THAT got pricey... you know how it goes.) 

Heehee, I live on 15th and 8th ave- one block from PPW! :) Yes, pretty pricey. Hence us staying in our (very crappy...no laundry no dishwasher and rundown) one bedroom even after babe is born.

 

Woo on the GPA!  It sounds like I'm the exact opposite of you... I "test well", but my grades in college and grad school were more like 3.2 or 3.3. 

Well, this is quite the opposite of how I was in college 10/11 years ago when I graduated with a 2.7!!! I've come a long way. We'll see now if I get into a program. But thank you! I feels good to be done with stage one, prereqs. 

 

Another cautionary tale here... when I tried to EBF my child, "boobie bootcamp" and all that, she ended up in the pediatric ER with dehydration and jaundice. :(  I hired two different IBCLCs and a postpartum doula, but breastfeeding still didn't work out for us.  So, not to scare you, but you might want to research sources of donor milk in your area, just in case you end up needing them. 

 

Thank you for the heads up. Sorry you had to deal with that! I probably won't look into donor milk though. Neither my mom nor sister had trouble with nursing and I am expecting to be the same. My sis has nursed 3 children and even 2 at a time with the first two (though she didn't love doing that) but nursing was never an issue for her and we share much of the same genetic code. I can already see colustrum coming out and I'm at 27 weeks. Not saying at all that it will be easy but I'm going in expecting to not have too many problems. Or hoping not to. Of course I cannot predict the future. 

post #33 of 35
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by thezoolife View Post

Side note Loogiejane:
Although I love nursing my baby now, it was rough going at first. People kept telling me that if the baby latches correctly it won't hurt. That's bull. It still hurts and a lot for the first couple of weeks. Don't let it discourage you.

Yea, I'm not looking forward to any painful part of the process. That's the biggest complaint I hear from women that it can hurt...sore nips, dry/cracking nips, etc. Hopefully women at the local LLL meeting I plan to attend will have good advice. In addition to my sis who nursed for 5 years nonstop. I won't let it discourage me though. I know that getting to be comfortable with it takes perseverance so I'll have to keep teling myself that. Thank you for the encouragement!

post #34 of 35
Quote:
Originally Posted by Loogiejane View Post


 

So if I dont want to, I don't *have* to do bottles. Part of me feels badly that DH would never get to feed babe. I know he would really love it even if it was once in a while.

Just wanted to comment on this; I wouldn't feel bad about dh not being able to feed the baby. At 6 mo, most babies start solid food, so your dh can have plenty of opportunities to feed his baby (and deal with the mess wink1.gif)
 

There are other occasions to bond with baby besides bottlefeeding.

post #35 of 35
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nightwish View Post

Just wanted to comment on this; I wouldn't feel bad about dh not being able to feed the baby. At 6 mo, most babies start solid food, so your dh can have plenty of opportunities to feed his baby (and deal with the mess wink1.gif)
 

There are other occasions to bond with baby besides bottlefeeding.

No I mean I'd feel bad because he'll want to. Not because I really care. He has mentioned how it would be nice if I wanted to go out for a a break and he could give the baby a bottle. I'd feel bad because its something he'd like to do. But we've already talked about other ways he can bond. I mentioned baby massage. He loved that. 

 

I realize not all children are this way but my niece didn't eat solids til she was almost 12 months. She just wasn't interested. And now at 9 yrs old she has such a broad palate--shell eat anything. 

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