oh dont get me wrong. we partaaay . dd loves a partaaay - just doesnt have to always be a bday party.
till dd kinda lost interest in the party as she grew older. whom to invite whom not to.
we had initial bdays for the family. after that it was for dd until she hit 7 and then ... oh dear.
we've done alternate year parties.
but dd's parties have always been friends family and children party. so since many couldnt attend dd had a bunch of lunches and dinners to go to by those who missed the party.
we definitely made sure she had her double digits and the day matching the age party. her golden bday.
however i did bdays shamelessly for the presents. that is the only time dd got any presents. her gparents passed away early and there was no one really else showering her with presents. so bday is the time she got any. except from me. we did things/presents thru out the year whenever i had extra $$$s so never got her presents ever on her bday. but then she lost interest in the presents coz she didnt like them. till we hit upon wrap something from your house that you dont play with.
going back to cake. the only time dd really wanted cake was when a friend made a delicious pound cake with raspberry preserve filling. last bday dd and her friends got together and made a candy casserole. it was to date dd's most memorable bday coz she had carte blanche to candy and she threw up a million times during and after the party. that made her realise how she cant really handle candy (sadly her friends whom she had over are v. mainstream - so dd was eating candy to fit in).
however i DO do something for her bday. last year dd chose to go to a tea house instead of dinner and she loved the whole experience of an english tea with sandwiches and crumpets