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My twins are here.... traumatic birth....

post #1 of 20
Thread Starter 

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I was due on Feb. 22nd, with frat.  Boy/girl twins.... but they had other plans. 

I Had preterm labor at 27 and 29 weeks, had steroid shots, etc then, then spent the next 60 plus days on bedrest. On Jan. 23rd. I was having contractions for about two days, and we decided to run to the hospital to get checked out . Turned out I was dilated, and effaced and was having contractions every 2-3 mins even though I was thinking they were 10 mins. apart. We had a new doctor, they checked the babies, and they were both head down. About 2 mins. after the ultrasound, Jase (boy) decided to flip and they saw it. So, we had an emergency csection in 30 mins. It was crazy.... a huge crazy confusing event. I wasn't able to get anyone there to be with us, we were kind of just lost.... they rushed me back, forced drugs into my system, pushed antibiotics thru my IV just in case, and it hurt like crazy!!!! Then they did the spinal and within just a few minutes they delivered the twins. Honestly, I've always wondered what people meant by "Traumatic Birth expereinces" But that is exactly what I had. The babies were lifted up for Jason and I to see and then rushed to the NICU, because despite their steriods, they had issues breathing. About 4 hours later, I was out of recovery, they wheeled me to the NICU to see the babies, and then to my room. It was crazy... and today I'm feeling all the emotions I've held in for a week. It's not easy not being able to take care of your kids and not being able to bring them home. 
 
I've never had a csection before, and I've always done natural birth. This birth was so fast, so rushed, so scary, it was something my dh and I had never imagined happening to us.  We are still questioning what happened, and wondering why.  I had said I'd do whatever needed to be done to keep the babies safe and healthy, but the birth was just a bit much, and I'm left wandering what happened.  We are going to be bringing up our concerns to the doctor when I go in two weeks for my check up.  

So, they are here.... Miss Josie Marie born Jan. 23rd at 11:40 pm, and Mr. Jase Henry born Jan. 23rd at 11:41. They are both still in the NICU. They are finally off of oxygen. Jase is nursing like a champ, and occasionally has to have a bottle. He is no longer on oxygen and is in an open crib, and is able to maintain his body temp. He does set his alarms off, with Bradys.... so he is there until he can stop having these. Josie on the other hand is still in an incubator. She is finally off oxygen but still has an NG tube for feeds. She has started to nurse, but she's really lazy and falls asleep during feeds and ends up having to be tube fed. She still sets off her alarms, and she is not able to maintain her body temp. So, we have a long way to go with her. They are both adorable and perfect in every way. Jase was 5 lbs 10oz and Josie was 5 lbs 3 oz. Now Jase is 5 lbs 3 oz and Josie is at 4 lbs 11 oz.
 
So, while they are here, I'm left in a state of shock and confusion.  We practice attachment parenting, which you can't do in a NICU.  We've had to sit back and just look at our babies.  Now that we can hold them, we do our best to hold them and be with them as much as possible.  I'm pumping milk and nursing as often as I can.  But we do have other kids at home, so we can't be there 24/7, and we can't stay overnight there every night.  So, we are relying on the nurses there to respect our parenting wishes.  We have had a few crappy nurses who have looked at us like we are crazy, but my husband has set them straight, explained to them we have 3 other children, and we know what we are doing.  He's had to explain to one nurse that if she mentioned circumsicion again, he'd call the head of the hosptial and have her fired  ;)  Needless to say, we are doing our best.  The babies are extremely quiet babies, they don't really cry, and they seem to be doing well in the NICU.  Which is good, because its so hard for me to leave them.   
 
So, anyways, I'm praying you all have a better birth experience then me....
post #2 of 20

I am so glad they are here safe and sound.  And I am so sorry it was not the birth experience you were hoping for.  Hope that they both are able to get released quickly.

post #3 of 20

Congratulations on your two blessings. I am so sorry that the birth was so crazy and scary, and I hope that you are able to eventually find time to process that in the midst of all this. I hope your babies will be able to come home very soon!

post #4 of 20

Oh, Kristin.  I'm so sorry you've had such a rough experience.  hug2.gif  I'm praying you can get them both home soon, and I hope you can get some of your questions about the birth answered.  I know you worked really hard to keep them cooking for as long as possible, and 35 1/2 weeks is really decent!  It sounds like you did and are doing a really good job.

post #5 of 20

I'm so sorry that you had such a traumatic experience. greensad.gif I hope you get some answers and some time to process what happened. And I hope the babies are both home with you all very soon.

post #6 of 20

oh Kristin- what a horrible way for everything to go down!!!  Welcome Jase and Josie!

 

and praying for you mama- you and your husband sound like you're doing amazing dealing with the hospital stuff and i know that's not easy.  especially when all you want to do is hold those little people and breathe them in.

 

here's for the nursing staff to be more supportive.  that makes a huge difference, especially when trying to get nursing and pumping and snuggle time in while dealing w/ NICU. 

 

Rest, recovery and restoration to you in this time!

post #7 of 20
I'm so sorry to hear about your birth experience. I hope you get some time to process it, maybe just journal if you ever find a free minute (I realize it may be a while before you have any sort of free time). My MW was just talking to me the other day about how she wants to start a birth trauma class to help mamas process through these experiences- I think it should be mandatory for all hospitals/birthing centers to have available.

Congratulations on your two sweet babies!! I hope they continue to improve and get to come home soon. Keep up the good work mama!
post #8 of 20

Congratulations on your sweet babies. I'm so sorry the birth was traumatic and hope you find time to heal. So glad to hear the babies are doing well despite the trauma and I hope you can bring them home soon. hug2.gif

post #9 of 20

I'm sorry to hear that your birth experience was so scary hug2.gif

 

At least you have your two little babies to keep you facing forward. Congrats!

post #10 of 20
Wow.. I'm sorry your birth went so much differently than you'd hoped but the most important thing is your precious ones made it here safely and are coming along. Congratulations!
post #11 of 20

As people always say, the babies are healthy, and that's all that matters!  But we know that's not all that matters.  I hope over time you able to talk with a close friend and work through your feelings about this birth, also talking to the doctor and getting your records to go over the details might help.  It takes time to heal from a traumatic experience, any kind.  Hugs to you mama, I'm sure in the moment you did everything you thought was right, so sorry it was overwhelming <3  And welcome babies!

post #12 of 20

Welcome Josie and Jase!!  I'm so sorry you had such a traumatic experience and I can't imagine how hard it is not having your sweet babies at home with you.  It sounds like you're being great advocates for them now though and that they're getting stronger and stronger.  Hopefully they will be home with you soon!!

post #13 of 20

I had a similar experience.  Same due date, Feb 22, but she came by C section on January 22nd at 35 weeks.  I had been in the hospital for 3 1/2 weeks on bedrest, because they discovered I had a vasa previa.  I was hoping to keep her in until 37 weeks, but I started bleeding at 35 and the Doc on call decided to go in and get her.  SO, she's little, 4.bs 15 oz at birth BUT mighty : )  She was in the NICU for 2 days for glucose issues and we came home on Sunday.  She struggles with breast feeding, so we have to supplement with my pumped milk.  Still trying to figure out best way to get her on the breast full time.  What a wild ride this is.

 

 

None of this was in our plan, but just learning to roll with it.  It is hard, but I'm so in love.

post #14 of 20

Wow, what a ride.  Hope you are managing well enough now, between the nicu, the pumping, the older kids, the staff who aren't all making life easier and your emotions on top of it all.  Hugs, mama and so glad babies are doing well and improving.

post #15 of 20

Congrats on your babies! I'm sorry that you all had (and still having) a rough start. It sounds like you have a lot going on and big hats off for nursing/pumping/doing everything you can to AP your babies. Keep us posted on how they are doing.

post #16 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by ljzimmer View Post

I had a similar experience.  Same due date, Feb 22, but she came by C section on January 22nd at 35 weeks.  I had been in the hospital for 3 1/2 weeks on bedrest, because they discovered I had a vasa previa.  I was hoping to keep her in until 37 weeks, but I started bleeding at 35 and the Doc on call decided to go in and get her.  SO, she's little, 4.bs 15 oz at birth BUT mighty : )  She was in the NICU for 2 days for glucose issues and we came home on Sunday.  She struggles with breast feeding, so we have to supplement with my pumped milk.  Still trying to figure out best way to get her on the breast full time.  What a wild ride this is.

 

 

None of this was in our plan, but just learning to roll with it.  It is hard, but I'm so in love.

 

congrats and welcome to your little one, ljzimmer!  Glad to hear she's home and doing better.  

post #17 of 20

Congrats on your precious twins!!! I'm so sorry things had to be so traumatic, sending peaceful and healing vibes your way. Hugs!!!

post #18 of 20

HUGS...Congratulations....and Welcome to Jase and Josie!

 

I hope you have an active AP community in your area.  If you aren't sure, please find one.

 

Here, we have several AP moms who successfully fought crazy NICU policies.  We also have several really good birth trauma processing resources.  Now is the time to go in search of those.  This therapist from MN might be able to connect you with others like her in your area...  http://www.sarinalamarche.com/workshops-retreats/

 

Holding you in light and waiting for your precious babies to be in your arms and HOME!

 

Kristine

post #19 of 20

Hugs, mama! Congrats on your precious little ones!

post #20 of 20

I'm sorry that the birth was traumatic. I had 2 vaginal births before my c/s and it was tough to figure out all the emotions that surrounded what happened. I joined a group called ICAN (International Cesearn Awareness Network) that helped me process and was a safe place to land.

 

Many blessings to your family.

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