Originally Posted by CLplus1
Hello, I'm new here and have been reading through people's unassisted birth experiences. My husband and I are ttc right now (hoping this is it, won't know for 10 days), but I want to be as prepared as possible before it happens.
I go back and forth with wanting a midwife and wanting an unassisted birth. My husband seems iffy about uc, but he sees the appealing sides of it as well. One of my main thoughts is wanting privacy during birth. I really think having someone waiting/watching me will interfere with my ability to birth naturally.
So, the few questions I have right now (that I have not come across in my previous research):
How bad of an idea is it for me to do my own prenatal care?
And if I am doing that, how will I know if the baby is still alive and growing?
I have heard that many times when there is a true emergency, there are red flags along the way, do you believe this?
If I were to go to the hospital, what would happen if they weren't expecting me?
Would I still be attended to quickly?
Would they question my intentions of why I lack prenatal care and tried to birth unassisted?
And for pure curiosity, what would happen if I take the baby and sneak out? (sorry, but don't think I should stay if I don't have a reason to)
I'm sorry if I sound dumb, but these aren't things you can go around asking people.
With our first child, we did all our own prenatals. We had two books, Heart & Hands, and Emergency Childbirth. Starting at 12 weeks, I did weekly urinalysis, BP, Weight... at 24 weeks I took fundal height measurements and "mapped" the babies position. I kept track of everything in an excel spreadsheet... made graphs and everything so I could better determine if something was an outlier or a problem. I also had a nutrition tracking program from a class in college, and entered everything I ate into that so I knew what vitamins I needed to take.
We planned a waterbirth, ordered a birth kit, (would have taken CPR/First Aid courses had we not already known them), some herbal tinctures and studied Spinning Babies.
I had terrible back labor, and after 10hrs, DH decided I needed an epidural, so we transferred to the hospital. They did not listen to me, ignored me, threatened, and when I still refused things, lied until I gave in. They did not give me all the information to make informed decisions, only what suited them. I later found out I was given drugs I had specifically said I didn't want. The nurses were alright, the doctor was awful. After DD was born, things just got worse. She had a sticky bag on her to catch her urine, and I wasn't allowed to change her diaper. It kept filling with meconium and they kept putting new ones on. I found out it was for drug testing and told them no more. They repeatedly bombarded my room with several people asking questions at the same time, so they could repeatedly slice open DD's heel. I was lied to by the on call pediatrician so they could keep DD another day, after I was released.
If I had gone into labor the following day and had the OB for that day, I think my experience would have been different. She actually told me the truth about what had happened while I was in labor.
In hind sight, I shouldn't have transferred to the hospital. I should have taken my records, I had so meticulously kept, with us. I should have taken my laptop so I could look up things for myself so I could make actual informed decisions.
No one called CPS on us. The more the nurses talked to me about things, the more they realized I had wanted what was best for the baby.... they even found me a moderately "natural" minded Pediatrician, when I hadn't been able to find one myself.....
If you decide that UC is what is best for the baby and you, dont listen to nay sayers. My MIL was one of them. They place their fears onto you, and you do not need that. You cant make decisions based on someone else's fears.