Dad can't get 5 month old to nap

[rktrump]

I feel like all I think about is baby sleep!  I seek suggestions regarding baby's Dad having trouble getting him to nap:

My husband is a stay-at-home Dad and so far I've been lucky enough to mostly work from home.  But, I now need to go into the office from time to time (a couple times a week for 1/2 days) and before long will need to be in the office more regularly.  The trouble is, our 5 month old gets hysterical most times Dad tries to put him down for a nap.  Jack is held/danced/sung to until he falls asleep (by me) for every nap (3/day) and sometimes fusses a bit (he fought every nap like he was being tortured a few weeks ago, but no longer does).  However, when Dad has nap duty, the majority of the time Jack gets hysterical and inconsolable (even if Dad comes out of nap mode into play mode).  On more than 1 occasion I've rushed home from work because this went on for an hour or so.  Dad and baby are great playmates - the only problem is nap time.  And, I can usually work it to where they only need to manage 1 nap while I'm gone.  Skipping the nap isn't an option, because my kiddo needs his sleep!

I don't want to have to sleep train and refuse to do CIO, but I'm at my wit's end for how to manage this logistically and psychologically.  

Suggestions?

P.S. Kiddo no longer likes to nap in carrier's much, so that which was our previous go-to for Dad naps is not a good option anymore.  Dad can get him to take at least a short nap by taking him for a walk, but weather doesn't always permit, and this isn't much of a sustainable option when I've got to be in the office more.

[mamazee]

Do you have a swing or something dad can put him in? He doesn't have to nap in bed, and dad might have to do something different than you do. Even just hold him in another part of the house until he falls asleep on his own. He must associate the nap with you - either where he goes to sleep, or the routine - so dad might need to put him to sleep somewhere else or have a different routine.

[rktrump]

I agree that we've definitely allowed a Mom/Nap association to form (oops).  Dad had been pretty much trying the same nap routine I do, so trying to switch that up makes sense.

FYI, Once he's asleep in my arms, or all but asleep, I put him down in a swing for naps.

The last couple days this has actually gotten worse.  When Dad's on nap duty, Jack gets a bottle 20ish minutes before sleep time.  Now he's started to freak out crying when the bottle comes out (not even waiting until the nap part of the routine gets near) - pulling our hair out!

Also, we co-sleep, but baby always sleeps on my side of the bed between me and wall (we have created a very safe set-up).  Do you think baby sleeping next to Dad, or between us, would help create a Dad/Sleep association?  I've always heard co-sleeping is safest when baby's next to Mom only, so I'm a bit nervous about changing that up.  (note: babe's just over 5 months old, in case that matters).

[Ema629]

To help ease the transition, you might think about recording you singing his naptime songs. Dad can quietly dance to the recording, gradually sing along, then go solo. They need time to figure out their own rhythm, and you rushing home to the rescue is great mommy instinct, but it's not giving them a chance to figure each other out and bond. It takes time, patience, and practice. Since there is a strong association with you and naptime, maybe think about dad putting the baby down for all the naps for awhile even if you are at home. Maybe try a different carrier. We cosleep as well and my DD has always slept between the both of us with no problem.

[rktrump]

Your advice makes perfect sense (except that I actually hum quietly, so I don't know how much help a recording would be :)).  I think the key is patience, which isn't particularly my strong suit.  It's tough to just let Jack cry and cry and Dad feel defeated when I know I can help.  But, obviously something's gotta give.