lea good luck for it, hope it all goes well for you
Queer Conceptions: February 2013 - Page 6
Twomommy We are still hoping for your BFP. I was rounding those last few days of the TWW feeling not terribly positive myself but I decided I needed to stay in the positive until AF did or didn't do her thing. It was particularly difficult knowing DW and I fully expected we would "beat the statistics" and get pregnant on the first try. It made me feel pretty naive, which was something to deal with on top of the let down of the BFN. So...after many deep breaths DW and I chalked it up to lessons learned and got our perspective screwed on right and we are back in the game with waiting to O. If AF should pay you a visit I hope you just dust yourself off and try again. Statistically each insemination improves your chances of a BFP...I guess you just never know how many it will take!
AFM, not much to report. I started letrozole last night. I am up to 25 mg each night for 5 days. I experienced a lot of dizziness, a terrible headache and some nausea with it. I suspect it is because she increased my dose by 5mg per day. Anyone else with this experience?
Wow, twomommyfamily, I'm sorry to hear about the possibility of a genetic condition in your donor... That's the sort of thing (insensitive) people bring up when I say we're going to use donor sperm from a bank, and it's disheartening to know it might be happening in your situation. When will you find out about coverage for the screening?
twomummies! I'm so sorry about the crappy ride you've had so far on this TTC rollercoaster... I hope your luck changes with March's transfer. How is it that the gov't will fund your IVF?
Fmorris, I am *not* the main cleaner at my house... I love to cook and DP doesn't at all, so I take care of our food needs and DP is the one who does all the vacuuming, mopping, scrubbing, etc. You know what's funny? When I end up chatting with random straight married women at parties (ie. a big wedding reception or one of DP's work functions), and they find out that I'm queer, they *always* want to know how DP and I divide the household chores! I think it's such a weird thing to wonder about, in terms of two strangers in casual conversation. Anyway... As for acupuncture costs, here's my post about it from earlier in the thread.
Lizbian, I've ordered that book from my local library. I'm also stoked about your novel! My great aunt (who was also my namesake) was in the Canadian military during and after WWII, and spent almost a decade in various parts of Europe during that time period... While also living a very active life as a lesbian! She died long before I was born, but I have a huge attachment to her due to our shared queerness and name, and by extension, I love reading about gay women in that time period. I really enjoyed Sarah Waters' The Night Watch for that reason... I kept picturing my great aunt throughout it.
Darcy, I've definitely noticed less CM while on clomid... And it did make me ovulate early, though my cycles were so irregular it's hard to say how much. FWIW, my RE has me coming in on CD14 too, and I "usually" O on CD23.
So excited for you, Friederike!!! FX!
Escher, I hope you find something that helps with monitoring... I like ferning because it's fun to have yet another way of tracking what my body's up to. I use a simple microscope that I've had since I was a child, and have heard of others finding one at a thrift store and it does the job too. Nothing to lose by trying.
Hurrah for the TWW, lea! FX!
Sorry, KWPX, I've no experience with letrozole... But those sounds like crappy side effects
Excellent news, SanDiego, I'm so happy for you and your DW!
AFM: Reflecting on this past week, I think I can safely say that Clomid is affecting me after all, mostly in terms of my (in)ability to sleep. I've had insomnia issues my whole life, so didn't think anything of it at first, but the pattern is unmistakeable! It's better now that I'm done taking the drug... And only have to deal with the weird pulsings in my ovaries, heh heh...
kwpx2 good luck with the next one & good attitude. I have no expectations of beating any statistics, already gearing myself up for IVF but thought we should give home insems a go first, 'just in case'
sandiego great news! fx for the next u/s
granite wow that's fantastic about your aunt!!!!! so many interesting people & experiences during those times I love finding out about them & remarkable she was openly a lesbian. One of the few I suspect, blazing a trail! Awesome. I'm feeling for your insomnia. I've always had problems too & it's very frustrating and not going to get any better with kids.
soto completely understand, take time to lurk - you'll know when's best to come back and FX you can pick yourself back up x
Lizbian: It's sweet that you say hi to the swimmers every morning. It seems like a good way to make a connection with them before they are actually in your body!
Lea: Hooray for your insem! I'm glad that it went more smoothly this time. When I took progesterone it delayed AF by a few days.
KWPX2: The first time I insemmed I was also convinced that I would absolutely get pregnant the first cycle. I think it made the bfn especially hard to take. I find the process easier now that I see it as a longer project. But it is hard not to have your hopes super high the first time you try. Anyway, I've been there too. Hopefully your next cycle feels easier, whatever the outcome.
SanDiego: Hooray for everything looking good!
Granite: We have one of these saliva microscopes, so we wouldn't even have to get anything to look for ferning. Thanks for the encouragement--I think we will try that next cycle. I'm sorry that the clomid is making it hard to sleep.
Sotohana: I hope the TWW is treating you well so far!
AFM: I'm so glad it is almost the weekend! I wish now that we had continued to use opks and/or the fertility monitor after we insemmed, since based on temps I'm pretty sure my wife ovulated somewhere between CD20 and CD24. Next cycle I will try to continue the monitoring until we see the temp shift.
Lizbian, Good ole CoE hanging out above the law lol. How exciting looking for places to raise your LO. Awwh :) Hope DW isn't too sick and your first insem goes great!
Darcy, I haven't come across any in mye area that are tahat awesome. Maybe i'll keep browsing and see if I can find some. Maybe I'll ask a friend (she's Indonesian) if she knows any good people :)
Carmen, Thanks for the info, I'm continuing the search :)
Escher, I havent seen any community acupuncture, or maybe I'm not looking in the right place. Most of the places I've found were private practices. How often was DW using the OPKs per day? Maybe you could have her test more frequently during the day. Maybe ur RE has some good suggestions if the O date is not what expected.
Lea, excited to be in the TWW? Anything planned to keep you distracted?!
KWPX2, hope you get to feeling better on the letrozole! Luckily I didn't have those side effects, but I did have more night sweats than normal.
Sandiego, YAYYYY that everything looks good and you two are hopping back on the TTC train! GL!
Granite, I'm the main cooker and cleaner in the house. DP helps everynow and then though. I guess the burning question on straight peoples mind for 2013 is, In Lesbian couples, who on earth does the chores!? LOL! Nd people look at us like we're weird! And thanks for the link to ur post on the acupuncture! Hope you get some sleep now that you're off the clomid!
Soto, lurking is fine! Glad you gave us an update, and I wish you the best of luck!
AFM, I lost the other half of mye tea ball nd am convinced it grew legs and ran away..off to the store later. No strainer, no tea! Thinking that mye mum is coming around more, she's been talking to meeh about DP and I getting a house and everything (on top of buying meeh prenatals lol). Nice to have her support...after almost 5 years!
I tested today (12DPO) and it was negative. I am fine with it. My best friend and his boyfriend are coming over next week and we could try out some fancy new cocktail recipes. I also learned something more about how this whole process works (found out about capacitation) which will enable us to do it better next time. There is still a chance of a false negative of course, but in 2 or 3 days I'll have certainty.
escher ha ha it's amusing having them sitting quietly in the corner. Good luck with the OPK sounds like a good idea - I have a clearblue monitor and I'm happy as it's so hard to interpret the lines!
fmorris yeah surprised the Catholics haven't gone the same way & lovely to have a bit of family support.
friederike you never know, fingers crossed but good looking forward to next time too.
AFM - guess what? it's the day!!!! thought was going to be tomorrow/Monday but got 'the sign(s)' this morning. Kind of a busy day as looking at houses, got a job on later & a friend coming round tonight but we'll manage to find time, some of the other things are going to have to wait! I think it's going to be a funny, learning experience so will 'report back' later tonight.
ps I have caught the bloody cold from DW. Grrrr still it was inevitable, may have slightly messed up temps but shouldn't affect other signs.
Friederike: I'm probably going to look it up before you read this, but what is capacitation? I'm sorry for your BFN. . But I'm glad to hear you have some good plans that include yummy cocktails to keep things positive. Every cycle is a learning opportunity and it sounds like you've already learned something new.
Lizbian! How Exciting!! Today is the day? Are you going to insem a couple times or only once? Do you know how long it is after your surge that you ovulate? I'm actually thinking I ovulate only 24 hours after my surge which made my last insem entirely too late. I think you and DP will have fun with this insem! you have the speculum and syringe ready to go? I'm sorry you have a cold, I hope it isn't too bad- it sounds like you have a lot on your plate today!
KWPX: I guess I did not expect a BFP, in fact I think it would have been magical to get one on the first try. My perspective is skewed because two of my close friends have struggled with major infertility issues, both of them are unexplained too. One of my friends, who is exactly my age, has had 3 failed cycles of IVF and is now looking into egg donors and another friend just conceived her first after 4 years of trying. That being said, I also have a close friend who got pregnant on her first try so I know it's possible. And that woman was drinking gross energy drinks (and had been for years, geez!) and eating macdonald's daily for lunch (still does, even at 7 months pregnant) which isn't fair. This whole ttc business is frustrating and not fair, but I'm trying to embrace it as a process.
fmorris: I know you had mentioned before that your mother has been not exactly supportive in the past. Seems like she is being absolutely lovely lately! That makes me so happy for you. When do you think you and DP will be ready to jump back in and try again?
Granite: I've also struggled with insomnia off and on since high school. It is a truly terrible thing. Hearing that clomid gave you that side effect make me very wary of taking it ever. I'm glad it went away once you were off of it. So now that clomid is done, your insem should be right around the corner here, right? Exciting!
AFM, definitely BFN. I stopped progesterone and AF was just waiting there on the sidelines to get tapped into the game. Whats annoying is that if today is CD1 then CD16 is going to be a sunday. Our RE's office is closed sundays and for the last 9 months or so I've surged on CD15 with a small temp dip on 16 and a raise on 17. So an insem on day 16 would be nice. But who's to say that this cycle will be typical. Also our RE recommends I get genetic testing to see if I'm a carrier for galactosemia like my donor and she wants that testing done before we insem with his sperm again. She wrote the order but now I'm just supposed to wait until I hear from the kaiser genetic counselors. This means I may be totally out this cycle. Would you guys use a different donor instead? A donor who hasn't even been tested for galactosemia? My DP is fine with waiting because she feels that our donor is perfect in every way and we had a hard time finding someone with all his qualities. But would if I'm randomly extremely fertile this month?
I liked reading http://www.embryology.ch/anglais/dbefruchtung/planmodbefru.html It is basically a 5-7 hour process in the cervical mucus that gets sperm ready for fertilization. I'll take that timespan into account for the next try and insem a bit earlier.
Wow, I didn't know any of that! Thanks for sharing, Friederike! Still FX for you...
Sorry about the BFN, twomommyfamily... Crappy. As for your donor dilemma, I'd say stick with this guy because of your DP's reasoning. It totally sucks to take a cycle off, but if it means you could continue with your perfect donor, I'd say it's worth it.
Hurrah for *the day*, lizbian!!! Looking forward to hearing how it went!
fmorris, I love that your mom has come around! It was a long wait, hey? But so good to know she's getting there...
AFM: Almost there! Today's u/s showed a follie at 18mm, and blood tests say my surge is barely started. Still super-faint on the OPKs, but I'm to keep doing them later this evening and then tomorrow morning in case they suddenly go positive, in which case I'm to call the clinic. Otherwise, though, I'm going in on Monday mid-morning for the insem. Fun, because it'll be a holiday here in my province, appropriately called "Family Day"! What better way of celebrating could there be... I'm so happy and giddy right now!
Friederike, Sorry for the BFN, but that little bean could just be a late implanter. Give it a day or two!
Lizbian, I'm pretty surprised of that as well. Give it time lol! And it really is lovely having that support..especially from mum! how exciting that today is the day! I've got high hopes for you! Hope that cold doesnt do you bad!
Twomommy, You're right, mye mum has been pretty much anti our relationship lol, but just lately she's really coming along. She's being really sweet about everything, almost seems like she's hinting on us becoming more "settled" shall I say. As in looking into different houses she's seen for sale and saying its time for us to get out of our apartment and into a house! :) I hear ya mum! I'm hoping DP will be ready to go in the next few months. I would really love to give her a LO for her birthday which is the end of december! Sorry about the BFN and the obstacles with the upcoming cycle. I understand where your RE is asking you to get tested before trying again. It would be something I would consider atleast to know. That way your perfect donor can still be your perfect donor knowing if you also carry the trait. The right donor is hard to come by, and if you feel like this one is definately the right one, I'd wait just a bit to be sure. Trying to switch to a new donor could also take more time. Just mye opinions though! Good luck with the decision!
Granite, Meeh too! Its hard sometimes when you want your mum around for things like this! You're right it was a LONG wait, but she definately is making progress in the right direction. Hey that 18mm follie sounds great! It should be 20mm or 22mm in a day or 2! Hopefully you'll be able to say, you were made on Family Day to your LO! FX for a great insem!
AFM, Not much to report, still trying to get this eating better thing right. Shopping for a new tea ball that won't run away. I caught up with an old best friend from high school yesterday and had the best talk with her! She just got married this past October and told meeh last night (before she's even told anyone else lol) that they're expecting they're first. I'm couldn't be more happy for her, but a little sad for myself. They weren't trying at all..she went of BC when they were married and got pregnant like a month or so later. *sigh* #wishing it could be that easy for us. Trying to stay positive for meeh and celebrate as much as I can for her. Good luck to the inseminators and waiters!
twomommy we're going for 3 insems - the latest one 29 hours post surge. I'm not sure exactly when I O so hoping it covers all bases. I'd be inclined to wait for the test if this guy's right although I know it would be frustrating sitting out a month - hard decision but go for what feels right in your gut. Also frustrating about being shut on a Sunday. Glad we're doing this at home as our clinic (not that it does IUI or IVF) is only open Monday - Friday 9-4.30pm! That would have counted me out completely.
granite exciting on the follies & how appropriate that it's 'family day'!!!! FX for you
friederike great link, ta for the info
fmorris -great you got to catch up with an old friend & I hear you about the baby thing. One of my friend's daughters is 16 & due in a month. She's had to give up her apprenticeship, friends etc for this child & it's frustrating all round when we all have to go to such expense & effort. Still it'll be worth it in the end. I also caught up with a couple of school friends by email this week - been over 3 years since I'd heard from either of them so was lovely to re-connect. LOL on the tea ball. I have no idea what that is - was imagining you chasing a tea-ball as in what the kids play with (do you have that over there?) hee hee.
AFM OMG I feel AWFUL!!! I have quite a high fever, my cold has pretty much gone to my chest & I have aches & pains all over my body. Talk about bad timing!!!! It's been over a year since I've been ill and typical it's this weekend. Saying that the 2 insems we've done have gone amazingly to plan & no comedy moments (surprising given it's us). DW concentrated so hard on getting everything right & was a little star. She was a bit stressed about it all but think she's OK now, insem no. 3 as soon as she gets out of bed walks the dogs. Do any of you know if you can have paracetamol or any drugs when TTC? I've only had my ventolin so far but need to keep this thing off my chest.
ps twomommy can you add me to the TWW? thanks!
KWPX – you have a great resilient attitude! Hope that the symptoms you’re feeling from the letrozole subside.
SanDiego – hope things go well with DW’s ultrasound – glad the HSG results were good!
Soto – good to share another tww with you. Sending you good vibes as you lurk!
Escher – Thanks! This is the first cycle that I’ve continued OPKs after the initial LH surge and paid more attention to the lines leading up to it it was interesting to watch it fade in and out – gave me a better sense of timing. I wish I had been doing that all along.
Twomommyfamily – sorry about AF. Did you get AF immediately after stopping progesterone, or did it take a couple days? As for the genetic testing…I suppose it would be good to get the test done. Could you try another donor just for this cycle until the results are in? It might be a blessing in disguise to have to go through the process of choosing a back-up just in case the results are positive anyway.
Freiderike – Any more updates or tests? Thanks for the info on capacitation – I was not familiar with that term or concept. And Twomommyfamily – thanks for the metaphor from your DP – it made total sense (scientific concepts and I don’t always understand each other) and it made me laugh.
granite – so exciting! Happy Family Day!
Fmorris – I hear you on the complicated emotions around other people’s pregancies – a friend of mine gave birth yesterday and her pregnancy was a surprise and the entire time she was pregnant she complained about it. This situation with her is loaded for a lot of reasons and I actually had to stop returning her calls because I couldn’t listen to her constant complaining. That being said, a bunch of close friends have given birth in the last two months, and this most recent one is the only one I can’t handle – I have that feeling same as you, thrilled for them, but just a little sad for myself.
Lizbian – welcome to the tww! So sorry you are sick – hope it passes quickly and doesn’t get much worse!
Thanks Pokey, Freiderike, twomommyfamily and escher for the info on your progesterone experiences. My lp has been as short as 11 days and as long as 14, so I think it might extend it a little bit. Of course I hope this cycle is the one for me, but I think it is likely that the insem was a little late in the game so I’m trying to get a sense of what my timing might be for travel to where KD lives next month. I suppose part of this process is teaching me how to be patient and just wait and see what happens - can't plan ahead as much as I would like to. I wish I had something good to distract me during this tww, but I don’t have much going on (except a very intense workload) right now and I have the winter blahs so I’m feeling a bit down in general at the moment. But, hopefully the time will pass quickly and there are buds on some of the trees here so spring is just around the corner, right?
Oh, fmorris, I hear you on the reconnecting with old friends issue... I just got back in touch with an old roommate because she moved into my neighbourhood, and she & her partner (a cis-male) actually had a party last night to celebrate their decision to start a family. I don't want to come across as rude or fear-mongering, so even though I wanted to say OMG IT'S RARELY THAT SIMPLE, I just didn't go to the event. Overall I'm glad to rekindle our friendship, and of course I hope that she conceives easily! But I just feel like there's so much she doesn't understand. Good luck with the tea ball! I like the kind that are spring-loaded, with a handle... Like this, the upper one: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Tea_infuser.jpg
Lea, your story re: your friend complaining about pregnancy hurts my heart... I admire you for setting boundaries for your interaction with this person. I'm sorry you're feeling down... Spring really is almost here in our neck of the woods, which I'm looking forward to as well. FX for you!
Yay for insems, lizbian! And boo for being totally sick... How absolutely crappy, that timing! But hey, I have a friend who got knocked up while completely ill with whooping cough, so as long as you actually O, it shouldn't get in the way. I don't know about what drugs are okay during the TWW, though I guess I should find out! The ventolin would be mandatory for me as well, because my lungs get asthmatic too easily. FX for you!
Lea- thanks! sorry to hear you have winter blues - S.A.D (seasonal affective disorder). I get that really badly in the UK after coming from Oz!
granite thanks I finally took some aspirin after my temp got to almost 104 and was feeling like I was burning up so much better now. Good luck for family day & look forward to being on the TWW with you!!!