Queer, Pregnant, and Parenting--February and March 2013! - Page 8

[pokeyAC]

Oh ye wise queer peoples, I have a question.  Have you ever noticed that when one of you was pregnant the other had some hormonal shifts?  They say that women's cycles sync up when they spend a lot of time together, but if one of you isn't having a cycle, can that throw the other person off?  DW has been having some hormonal issues lately.  Some of it could be due to stress, certainly with a baby on the way, but I have seen her far more stressed.  I was wondering if my hormones could be affecting her.  Any thoughts?

[seraf]

Pokey, what kind if hormonal shifts? My last pregnancy I was a jerk during the first trimester, but I thought Sara was being a jerk. I had to look at the expressions of those around me to understand that the emotional issues were my own and that she was usually just reacting to my grumpiness. Of course, I calmed down and she got pregnant so it was hard to tell who was crazier. It's hard to be nice when the pregnant partner has the non-pregnant partner walking on eggshells (anything could make me sad or mad). I can't say that that's happening in anyone else's family, I may have been an especially mean pregnant lady (first pregnancy symptom with O, I body slammed a dog for nipping at me- good times).

S&B, ugh on housekeeping. Sorry, dear.

CaNanny, 11 days!!! Every time I look at FB and you haven't posted in a couple of hours, I wonder if you went into labor.

Isa and AmandaHope, thanks to you both. We may have all the kids and be too much for any one household, we will surely be in touch about it.

Hi everyone else, I got lost in all that stuff up there.

The big huge news in our lives right now is that I'm pregnant again! Just kidding. My job ended and my rental house is vacant, so we are going to move to the city where job prospects are much better and there is more queer culture and culture in general. We feel good about it. Well, except for the whole being out of work thing. Sara is packing already, she's very excited. The kids don't know yet, but they have so many friends up there that they will be thrilled (and we will be back here regularly, grandma lives here). So, a whole new adventure!

[pokeyAC]

seraf-Based on your symptoms, DW must be pregnant!  Oops.  She's been having some hot flashes and what feels like extended PMS but not AF.  She has also had some mean thoughts and such.  She got into it with some teenagers on the bus yesterday because one called anothe a fa**#t, and she told him he shouldn't call people names, and her called her a b#*ch.  She called him a name and asked him how it felt, and that shut him up.  She doesn't regret saying something, but she was shaken up and thought maybe she shouldn't be speaking to a teenager like that when she is not his parent. 

Congratulations on the big move to the city!  I hope you are all happy there. 

[AmandaHope]

Seraf: Congratulations! My eyes nearly bugged out when you joked that you were pregnant , but moving to the city will be refreshing and exciting, and even better that you're mom will still be there, so you'll be back frequently. How are you feeling about not living with your mom?  You don't discuss her very often here.  

And as for visiting, we have a queen guest bed, Lilah's double bed (that she still hardly sleeps in, so she'd be happy to spend the whole night with us), and a pull-out couch downstairs.  And an air mattress.  So bring everybody on!  I'd love to get our big kids together.

Cananny: 11 days!! I'm sorry you are in so much pain and discomfort, but I'm amazed that the babies are over 4lbs each and so hopeful that you'll have a smooth c-section and very short (or no?!) NICU stay.  I know you are ready physically; how are you feeling emotionally about having three children in less than two weeks?  

Pokey: I think that I messed up DP's cycles when I was pregnant, so I would expect that hormonal influences on mood should be possible, too.  Hang in there. 

AFU: Things with Z have been much smoother, thankfully, and I'm digging into Raising Emotionally Intelligent Children, which I'm finding really beneficial and consistent with AP approaches.  I just have to muster the energy and focus to implement the relevant shifts in my communication with Z.  Doing so would benefit L, as well.  So off we go. 

[Cananny]

Originally Posted by seraf 

Pokey, what kind if hormonal shifts? My last pregnancy I was a jerk during the first trimester, but I thought Sara was being a jerk. I had to look at the expressions of those around me to understand that the emotional issues were my own and that she was usually just reacting to my grumpiness. Of course, I calmed down and she got pregnant so it was hard to tell who was crazier. It's hard to be nice when the pregnant partner has the non-pregnant partner walking on eggshells (anything could make me sad or mad). I can't say that that's happening in anyone else's family, I may have been an especially mean pregnant lady (first pregnancy symptom with O, I body slammed a dog for nipping at me- good times).

S&B, ugh on housekeeping. Sorry, dear.

CaNanny, 11 days!!! Every time I look at FB and you haven't posted in a couple of hours, I wonder if you went into labor.

Isa and AmandaHope, thanks to you both. We may have all the kids and be too much for any one household, we will surely be in touch about it.

Hi everyone else, I got lost in all that stuff up there.

The big huge news in our lives right now is that I'm pregnant again! Just kidding. My job ended and my rental house is vacant, so we are going to move to the city where job prospects are much better and there is more queer culture and culture in general. We feel good about it. Well, except for the whole being out of work thing. Sara is packing already, she's very excited. The kids don't know yet, but they have so many friends up there that they will be thrilled (and we will be back here regularly, grandma lives here). So, a whole new adventure!

HA I often wonder if people start to wonder if I have gone into labor if I am to quiet :) These boys are like their mama..stubborn and they are gonna hold out until the c section.. I have given them permission to come out now... but each time we go for our BPP testing ( 2 x a week now) their fluids have increased.. they have grown and my BP is lower.. they are out to show that one nurse who said I would not make it to 34 weeks because i was fat!!! 

Wow on the move.. and sometimes we wish we could live in a smaller much less exp place..but we need to be where the nanny jobs are... speaking of DP got a new job meaning a little less pay ( eek) but meaning she will be home at 430-5 pm every day instead of 630-7.. and no more 10 pm thurs nights.. She will have to get a 2x a month night time babysitting gig to make up the difference but that is sooooo much better!  She will get to see the boys more!

11 days.. I am so excited to meet our little boys.. and I am trying to not think about the C section to much...

[outdoorsy]

Desert - great pics! I love the third one - so expressive.

Cananny - Such an exciting time! It's gone so fast, it seems.

Pokey - I'm not sure if that hormonal thing is for real, but supposedly even men can have some sympathetic symptoms when a woman they live with is pregnant, like feeling bloated. I haven't seen too much of that with my wife, but she is post menopause, so maybe that's different.

Seraf - Good luck with the move! Sounds exciting. I hope the job transition is easy on you. Hopefully there will be some interesting options in the city.

[starling&diesel]

Seraf- Yay for change! How will the move affect the olders' other parent? So exciting to pack up and relocate! It's one of my most favourite things to do.

AmandaH ... Another reason to connect with you. We went to our ped about E and that's the book he told us to read and read carefully. You might well become my mentor as we navigate the future for E.

Cananny! So soon, my dear! And I understand your worry about the c-section, but do take some comfort in knowing that it's a procedure that they do multiple times every day. Think of something your really, really good at ... And know that they are really good at doing c-sections. It's like taking your car in for an oil change, or making a soufflé. Easy for the professionals but hard for most of us to imagine doing. Can you take some ativan? Or Rescue Remedy?

[lisedea]

Seraf/Smiling--Yeah! Congrats on the move! I would be super excited as well...in fact, I am totally jealous.

[carmen358]

Originally Posted by pokeyAC 

Oh ye wise queer peoples, I have a question.  Have you ever noticed that when one of you was pregnant the other had some hormonal shifts?  They say that women's cycles sync up when they spend a lot of time together, but if one of you isn't having a cycle, can that throw the other person off?  DW has been having some hormonal issues lately.  Some of it could be due to stress, certainly with a baby on the way, but I have seen her far more stressed.  I was wondering if my hormones could be affecting her.  Any thoughts?

Is your DP peri menopausal? My DP's AF actually started getting really weird during my pregnancy and she is now peri menopausal! Could have been a coincidence but it was odd timing and kind of abrupt...

[pokeyAC]

carmen--That's what she's worried about.  She's only 38, but her mom had a hysterectomy when she was about 40 so maybe it's an early hereditary thing.  I told her to email her OBGYN and set up an appointment.

Everyone-Thank you for your responses!  I assume there hasn't been much research into what happens to hormones when two bio-females share a life.  I don't know if my hormones could be affecting hers.  I figured y'all might have some more experience you could share. 

[carmen358]

Originally Posted by pokeyAC 

carmen--That's what she's worried about.  She's only 38, but her mom had a hysterectomy when she was about 40 so maybe it's an early hereditary thing.  I told her to email her OBGYN and set up an appointment.

Everyone-Thank you for your responses!  I assume there hasn't been much research into what happens to hormones when two bio-females share a life.  I don't know if my hormones could be affecting hers.  I figured y'all might have some more experience you could share. 

Hmmm that is very early (younger than my DP) but not beyond the realm of possibility. Good luck - I hope she figures it out.

Also, my mom had a hysterectomy (still had her ovaries though) quite young but didn't start menopause until her mid 50s!

[wishin'&hopin']

I'm having a hard time keeping up with everyone!  Cananny--woo-hoo!  I'm sorry you're so uncomfortable but excited that those boys are doing such an awesome job of growing and staying put.  Seraf--your move sounds promising.  Hope the city options are great for all of you.  Pokey--I think DW and I have both had pregnancy "symptoms" when the other has been pregnant.  My every 28 day cycle was really wonky the first couple of times after DW got pregnant.  I think we're both hyper sensitive as well.  Lisedea--I hope things are peaceful and boring for you on bed rest.  How's your home away from home? Starling and Amanda--I'm paying attention to the work you're doing with your sensitive kiddos, my DS is the introverted and easily over stimulated son of an extroverted and in the public eye mama (a public that often treats him as "theirs").  So, I'll look up that book you're talking about.  

AFM--DW is 28 weeks on Tuesday and yesterday at her follow up ultrasound they confirmed that the soft markers they saw at 20 weeks were gone (so in the clear, altho' the markers were so "soft" that we weren't worried, mostly annoyed).  The baby is a little ahead of the curve at 2 pounds 8 ounces and wiggling around quite a bit.  He likes to hang out head down looking at DW's spine--so no good pictures ;)  And, in even bigger news, I'm debating putting my name in for a half time position in the later summer/early fall.  While I hate to have to use child care at all, 1.5 days a week of childcare that allows me to do what I do professionally (which is about what we'd need in order for me to take this position) may be more than worth it given how excited I am about the possibility.  

[carmen358]

Seraf, I had a very long, vivid dream last night that I came to visit you and Sara and you lived in San Francisco. A bunch of my friends were there too and we were all staying in this shabby hotel. Odd dream.

[Cananny]

We are admitted for what seems the duration... My Bp spiked really high yesterday and didnt go down so they admitted me.. Bp has come down but they want to monitor me and boys since we are so close ... But they could b born at any time ...

[KnittingTigers]

Cananny, you are so close!!! Hang in there. We're all rooting for you!

AFU, off to Ikea today to get a changing table and some organizational stuff. 29.5 weeks!

[seraf]

CaNanny, you're in the home stretch!

[wishin'&hopin']

Cananny--almost there, deep breaths!!!!!  

KnittingTigers--getting closer to almost there!!!!

[planet]

Cananny, !!!!!!

Knitting, how about a belly shot?

Multiples! So many new babies coming soon! I am so excited to "meet" them!

[mrsandmrs]

cananny!!! i hope you're doing well and you have a lot of entertainment to keep you distracted while you wait. keep us posted!! 

knitting tigers - you, shopping at IKEA at almost 30 weeks! that's awesome. i hope you're feeling well.

lise - how are you feeling?

first trimester mamas - how's everyone feeling? i'm at 11.5 weeks and i actually fantasize about how great the second trimester will be. it's going to be so cool. i'm going to have so much energy. i'm not going to gag or barf ever. i am exhausted by trying to appreciate this trimester. i guess we're telling family, friends & work people next thurs/friday. it is going to be so weird to "go public." 

[Sphinxy]

OMG, Cananny, sending you lots of good thoughts. I can believe you are going to meet those boys so soon!

mrs&mrs, well, I'm 7 weeks yesterday. Instead of nausea, I have the gas from hell. Like, woah. And, frequent mild cramps in my lower uterus, which freak me out but are apparently normal. I've been told in the past that I have a slightly tipped uterus, and as I read up on that, it sounds like my cramps may be due to my uterus trying to right itself while expanding. Awesome. I'm already peeing like 20 times a day, which seems early. Occassional crying continues, along with bouts of exhaustion. DW and I are barely going to see each other this week, I have a two-day business trip, followed by a three-day trip for her. I'm a little nervous about the time apart right now. We'll reunite next weekend at fancy function with my in-laws, though I suspect I'll rather just stay in the hotel room and lie down. We'll see. Our first sonogram is a week from tomorrow!