Queer, Pregnant, and Parenting--February and March 2013! - Page 2

[carmen358]

Thanks everyone for input n the "shower". As for getting "stuff" another reason we didn't want one before DD was born is because we could afford to buy everything we needed for the baby. DD has no living grandparents so there was no pressure to accept big ticket items. We were practically begged to get a baby registry for the showers after she was born so we got an online one at a natural baby store and asked for mostly cloth diapers, etc. only one person out of about 30 got us something from it lol so, yeah, we don't need stuff and would likely say that gifts aren't necessary...but people still love to buy/make things...I know I do! Thanks again!

Oh, I felt my fundus this morning...it was very exciting

[easttowest]

Thank you for your input on KD gifts, everyone.  We'll just play it by ear for now.

Desert, I love when you post pictures of Ever.  She is the most insanely adorable baby.

AFU, baby is kicking up a storm.  It's weird and amazing and pretty much what made me realize there is an actual human being in there.  20 weeks on Sunday and scan on Monday!  One of DW's good friends just told her she's pregnant too, just about two months behind us, so hurrah for support systems and being in it together!

Best to everyone.

Edited by easttowest - 2/1/13 at 10:50am

[pokeyAC]

Carmen-Yeah for the fundus!  Enjoy the second trimester!

easttowest--Yeah for movement!  Are you able to feel it too?  That's so exciting that DW's friend is pregnant too!  I'm sure that will mean a lot to both of them.

desert--I agree.  That is one adorable baby!  Good luck on the job hunt.  It's very good that you took a stand and knew that staying there would not work for you.

AFM--I got an email from my OB yesterday.  She looked at my u/s pictures and the baby looks perfectly healthy, but I have placenta previa.  I couldn't really tell from the scan but it looked close to me.  So now I am on pelvic rest.  No running or doing anything strenuous or jarring, no lifting anything over 20 pounds and no "sexual intercourse."  I'll have to get clarification on that last one.  She said yoga was fine.  I also can't fly until they can see if it has moved.  We had scheduled a trip to Vegas for my birthday and a babymoon, and we will have to reschedule.  I have to have another u/s in 2 months to see if it has moved.  I have to watch out for any heavy bleeding and call in if it happens.  OB said not to worry that most women don't have heavy bleeding or need to deliver early.  I'm just really hoping it moves out of the way so I don't have to have a c-section or have the baby early.  DW says not to worry, everything will be fine.  I know we'll both be fine, but it's just a huge bummer and it could make big changes in how these next months go.  I've really been enjoying being pregnant and happy to know we're having a boy and finding this out has really put a cloud over it.  I don't want to spend the rest of my pregnancy sad or worried so I need to work through it.  There's a good chance it will move and we will be able to proceed as planned.  We will just have to plan for 2 different births for now.  Maybe some retail therapy will help.  We see the doctor on Tuesday so we'll be able to ask lots of questions.

[DesertSunsets]

Pokey, I'm so sorry about your placenta previa!  It must be stressful, knowing how many risks can be associated.  Like you've said, most placenta previas move on their own so we'll all keep our fingers crossed that yours migrates upward quickly!  A friend of ours who was pregnant at the same time as DW had placenta previa and was on bedrest early in her pregnancy, but it cleared itself up in a few months and the end of her pregnancy was fine and she delivered without any complications.  

[carmen358]

Pokey, I'm sorry to hear you have something to worry about....I don't know much about placenta previa but I've also heard that for many women it resolves before birth. Try not to worry too much.

[bigfoot]

Pokey - sorry to hear about the placenta previa. Fingers crossed it moves!! Our friends just gave birth to a healthy baby boy at 37 weeks after dealing with it as well.

[darthtunaqueen]

Carmen, you can always ask for freezer meals in place of presents. I will be available for breastfeeding help!

[Sphinxy]

bigfoot - I really like the idea of celebrating the milestones. I'm not very superstitious, but I can be cheap and picky  Both of our mothers have already asked when they are allowed to start shopping and we made them promise to wait until the second trimester. I don't want a house full of every random cute thing they lay their eyes on for the next 8 months - luckily we have the kind of relationship with them that we can just say that. I've started a few baby registries but kept them private, just to help me start "pre-shopping" and narrowing down my ideas of what we might like to have new. At some point my sister and I will have a date to go through her boxes of hand-me-downs, and I don't care how early that happens. Her kids are 6 and 2 now, and she's not planning on a third. 

outdoorsy - Oh my goodness, so sorry to hear about that scare. What a relief to have those second tests come back normal. I can't imagine. 

cordelia - Thanks for sharing your thoughts on the video monitor. DW has been saying that she will want one of those, but the reviews on Consumer Reports aren't that positive. Do you mind sharing the brand you have?

carmen - I agree with cordelia. For my sister we did not throw her a second shower for her second child, but we did throw a meet the baby party and it was almost better because then the men in the family who didn't want to come to her first's shower felt better about being there. Some people brought gifts and some didn't, but that wasn't the focus. 

desertsunsets - holy crap that is one cute kid!

easttowest - Wow, congrats on 20 weeks! That sounds so great to have a friend IRL pregnant at the same time, I would love that (but doubt it will happen).

pokey - Sorry to hear about this potential complication. I hope it moves along soon. We have a babymoon trip to Vegas scheduled too, but it is a much longer flight from where we live so I'm getting a little nervous that I may have been too optimistic when I booked it. I am just trying to remember to stay flexible in case the doctor says I can't be on a flight for that long. 

Afm, I'm so exhausted. I had to take a brief trip to FL and back, left early Thursday morning and got home midnight Friday. Wow, I travel a fair amount for business but I have never had a trip take so much out of me. Napped a couple times yesterday and I'm looking forward to a lazy Sunday. And even though I had taken five positive pregnancy tests over the last week (I know...), it was such a relief to see my normal date for AF come and go. 

[starling&diesel]

Missed heaps, so I'll just jump in here ... 

Loved your bundle o'belly picture, Cananny!  Yay for a photo shoot!

Pokey ... Let's will that placenta away from the light!  Sending you fortifying and placenta-shifting vibes, dear.  

Carmen ... We are right with you on the superstition.  I will never understand how most folks can have a baby shower before the baby comes.  It truly rattles my sensibilities, yet I know that we're in the minority on this one.  I just don't get it.  We had a couple of showers for E, with a request for no presents.  We asked people to contribute to buying a bike trailer.  That was awesome.

We didn't do a shower for H at all.  We were content with that.  People still brought little gifts now and then, but I think most of our folks have figured out that we really don't need anything, and that a little contribution to the children's education accounts is far more appreciated.

Gifts for donors ... We were given our embryos, and nearly five years later, we still haven't come up with an appropriate thank you.  It's a bit of a running joke with the other women.  Still thinking.  So much of what we've considered seems like a pay-off or trite.  

Originally Posted by carmen358 


We don't need to buy much for this second baby except a car seat and maybe a few more items of clothing. But we are both kind of superstitious about buying stuff before baby arrives in some ways....last time we asked our friends who were throwing us baby showers to hold off until after DD was born.

Btw, what's the etiquette for showers for second babies? Do you have them? DD's was more like a "meet the baby" thing and we'd like to do the same again but don't want to do anything socially awkward....I'm SO out of the loop on these types of things and the unspoken rules surrounding them....

[seraf]

Pokey, I'm sorry about the placenta, I'm hopeful that it shifts out of the way as you grow.

Starling, how have you been? Did you deactivate FB? I haven't seen any blog posts in ages.

Planet, I saw a recall on the rock and play. You don't have to send it in, just look under the seat cushion for mold. Or read about it.

Soren's sick again. He seems happy, but sounds croupy.

Edited by seraf - 2/3/13 at 10:38am

[AmandaHope]

Hi, everyone!  I posted this right at the end of the last thread but will re-post here so I don't seem like a totally random person jumping back in with comments now and then.

I had fallen out of the habit of checking this board, in part because I'm trying to finish my book manuscript this spring (finally, and as required to keep my job...), but I'd been missing you all and wondering about all the newbies, so I came over to check in and found your message, Esher. I was so happy to see you here! And Max! And Isa, Starling, Seraf, Carmen (yay!) and more of the old gang (so sorry, Max, about the heartbreaking adoption news, though...), along with all the newer members whom I'm looking forward to getting to know.  I'm on the Facebook MDC board and depend on it for help with parenting issues...mostly Lilah's sleep challenges.  But I like the longer updates here and the other people.  So I'm back!

Name/Username? AHope

Who is in your family? Me (37), DP (39), DD1 (akaZ) age 10, and DD2 (Lilah) age 18 months.

What pronouns do you and your family members use? she all around (even the dog, though who knows? maybe she'd prefer he)

If you're pregnant, when are you due? sadly, no.  I loved being pregnant both times and really miss it some days, but we are DONE!

If you already have kids, tell us two interesting things about each of them.

Z: She still adores taking baths, especially bubble baths with Lilah; she is learning Mandarin.

L: She just started experimenting with plurals and possessives; she is obsessed with music of all kinds whenever she is awake.

If you work outside the home (or inside the home at something other than parenting), what do you do?

I'm an assistant professor of Women's Studies and History.

If you stay home with your kids, what do your days tend to look like?

Some days I wish I did, though I suspect I'm not cut out for it.  My dream job would be my current one, but only half time and on the west coast. (I'm a Seattle girl stuck in the midwest because of my career). 

What are your favorite things to do when you're not working/doing the grunt work of parenting?

Singing songs and dancing around the living room with my girls; yoga (though I find it hard, both physically and mentally); hanging out in bed talking with DP (which happens rarely); visiting friends and family on the west coast; skiing.

I'm almost caught up on the last month or so and will jump back in with personals soon. 

For the moment, though, I'm sending healthy thoughts to Isa's E and Soren.  And Pokey: sorry to hear about the Previa. That's scary.  Here's hoping that the placenta shifts upward and that everything turns out just fine, one way or another.  I'd be upset, too. 
 

[Cananny]

AmandaHope.. Nice to see you back on here :) L is getting so big now :) hard to believe she is 18 months old!

Starling.. Nice to see you here as well.. and did you de activate FB? Once Seraf mentioned it I realized we havent seen a blog lately :) 

Spinxy.. Yay for passing AF due date and for taking 5 tests :) I only took 2 because the 1st was negative.. then I had the fun of getting blood tests every few days :) 1st trimester can be tough on the body.. for me the tiredness was the worst in the 1st and now back in the 3rd.. but I have 3 babies so I figured Id never get my energy back

Pokey.. So sorry to hear that.. I know you were so excited to go to Vegas.. but this means we can help you celebrate your birthday here :) and I am hopeful it will move and you get the birth you want :) 

Searaf.. poor Soren.. hope he gets on the upswing.. how is Sara feeling?

AFM.. today is 31 weeks.. meaning we have 3 weeks and 2 days until the C section .. I can not believe they will be here so soon! I am very nervous about the C section but have read some great stories from some women on the FB page for MDC.. and its reassuring to read them.. 

Did the photos yesterday and I am glad we did.. they turned out great.. Ill post a few :)

[starling&diesel]

Oh Cananny, be still my heart!  The pic with the wee shoes is priceless.  Absolutely adorable.  Thank you so much for sharing your gorgeous photos!

As for FB, yes, I left.  

I am still doing the blog, and will have a new website up by the summer for a new storytelling venture, which will be even more blogorific, but the blog I have now is broken.  It's in the process of being fixed, but isn't yet.  I promise to post a note here to let you all know when I do.  I hope you folks will still visit my blog even though I've ditched FB for the time being.  It was stressing me out.  Sensory- and information overload.  I don't do well with that sort of thing.  When I launch the new site I might re-join.  But for now, I'm better off not being on it at all.  

[wishin'&hopin']

Hi all, I didn't comment soon enough and then didn't notice for a bit that we have a shiny new thread!  We're STILL side lined by illness at our house--but the pall has lifted a bit and I actually got some work done yesterday which was good (and necessary).  DW is 26 weeks today...and uncomfortably huge of belly (apparently her torso is REALLY short).  But, all is still looking good and she has a midwife appt this week and an ultrasound in a couple weeks to check on a couple of things from the level 2 (nothing big or worrisome...just some mild soft markers that I am pissed off about (not the markers existing, but the fact that the ultrasound made them an issue) b/c we wouldn't have had an ultrasound with maternal fetal medicine except it's required for "advanced maternal age" patients at our midwifery group).  DS is once again in a hardcore "mommy" phase (for those who worry that a kid will prefer the parent who gestated them...that is SO not the case in our house, ever.)  As DW's mobility decreases his neediness for her has increased--I'm a little worried about how that is going to look in a few months w/ baby--but I know it will sort itself out.  

Starling--good to "see" you, I hear you on getting overwhelmed by FB.  I usually abandon FB a couple times a year--but as people use it more and more for neighborhood networking where I am, it's getting harder and harder to not do it even for a few weeks...I miss too much of what is happening in my immediate community.  Hope your kiddos are well and I'm excited to hear your story telling adventures!  

Cananny--eek!  getting so close, and the photos!  Wowowow...I never did a maternity shoot and your photos make me wish otherwise!

Pokey--sorry about the placenta previa, and the babymoon change of plans that resulted.  Sounds like you still have plenty of time for the placenta to move tho'--I'll think upwards thoughts.  

Sphynxy--DW wouldn't take more than two tests...I wanted her to take more!  

Ahope--good to "see" you too--I am also in the midwest (much to my general surprise, life has been pretty rambling and I think we are here for the duration).  

Seraf--oh, I hope you weren't up all night with croup!  Croup sucks.  

KnittingTigers--how are you? Lisedea--hope you and your in-utero trio are doing amazingly.

[KnittingTigers]

Hi all,

Sorry I have been so absent. I have been working like mad trying to get as much done as possible before these babies come! My office looks like a hurricane hit it, no one in my family has eaten anything that wasn't prepared by Trader Joe's this week, and I'm completely behind on all of my online updates.:) Such is life...

I have actually been reading along, just mostly on my phone in small stolen moments, so I haven't had time to reply. I'm sort of amazed that so many folks are suddenly so far along - easttowest, Pokey, Wishin', Cananny... Of course, this makes me realize that I'M getting far long as well, and leads to all kinds of panic.

Pokey, I really hope that placenta moves for you. I've heard of many people's that do.

Starling and AHope, nice to see you guys.:)

easttowest, isn't the kicking awesome? DP and I just lie around with our hands on my belly feeling them kick. It's better than television! One of them kicked DD in the head last night when she was curled up next to me at storytime. She looked so startled. It was cute.
 

I'm sorry I can't do more personals right now. A quick update: I am a gigantic sea mammal stuck far, far from the ocean. Or at least, that's how I feel every time I have to move. I'm 28 weeks on Thursday, and I've gained over 46 pounds. Not surprisingly, I feel like crap. My feet are swollen, my legs hurt, my back hurts, my pelvis hurts, etc. I've been trying to get to the pool as much as possible, but it's been hard between work, parenting, and trying to give DP some time to work on his stuff in the evenings (he has a book manuscript in process, and is trying to get as much done as possible before the babies come). I had such an easy pregnancy with DD, I just sort of assumed it would be the same this time. Not so much. I can't really imagine 10 more weeks of this. My largest pair of shoes got too tight this week. Today I'm at work in dress clothes and DP's skater shoes. Even those are a challenge because I have trouble bending down/leaning over far enough to tie my shoes. I just ordered a pair of fuzzy crocs, and have resigned myself to looking ridiculous for the next few months. Anyway, enough whining.

On showers... it's been almost five years since we had DD, and we've made two interstate moves in that time, so aside from my favorite carrier and a couple choice outfits, we have nothing left over from last time around. We gave away or sold most of our stuff before our first big move. I also have a new jobs, new friends, etc., who want to throw us a shower, so we're actually having two- one at work, and one at home. I always encourage people to give us hand-me-downs or scope out craigslist for the stuff on our registry, but I also know that some people (like my co-workers) really WANT to be able to buy us stuff from amazon or whatever. So, we've listed some things that we do actually need (bottles, carseat, cloth dipes), and people can gift what they'd like.

We're still in the middle of trying to figure out what all the littles are going to do next year. DD didn't make the lottery for our two magnet choices for Kindergarten. There's still one lottery left for our arts based school, which is a charter. I am crossing everything I've got that she gets in. It's our first choice school. If that doesn't work, she'll go to our neighborhood school, which is fine, but not fabulous. We shall see. For the twins, we've been debating part-time nanny versus full-time daycare. Obviously full-time nanny would be ideal, but we can't quite afford that. I think we're leaning toward part-time nanny, at least for the fall semester. I just can't imagine getting out the door with two diaper bags, all the bottles, two babies, and doing it in time to get the big little to school by 8:15! We currently do an afterschool nanny share with another family, and we love our nanny, so we've asked her if she'd be interested. We're meeting on Thursday to talk logistics.

Okay, that's the update. Now, back to work! Hope everyone is well.

[esenbee2]

seraf -funny story about croup.  DD had croup once and when my mother told her mother, my grandmother got whooping cough in her mind and started telling everyone else in the family that DD had whooping cough!  It was pretty funny.  The croup wasn't fun, but didn't last long...

[esenbee2]

knitting -Kindergarten stuff is so nerve racking!  We find out if in April if DD got into the magnet program we chose (International and Cultural Studies).  If she didn't get in, we find out in May what cluster school she was put in.  There are only 2 of 8 that I would like her to go to.  They say 80% of kids get into the parents' first or second choice.  If she doesn't get into the magnet program, I will be trying to do hardship transfer to 1 school in my mother's cluster based on that she will be getting after school care from my mother.  Sometimes that works, but there is so much controversy (court cases going all the way up to the Kentucky Supreme Court over it) that hardship transfers don't happen as much nowadays.  If she doesn't get into the magnet program (first choice), the school in my mother's cluster (second preference), or the two schools in my cluster (third and fourth preference), then I don't know what I will do.  Maybe hold her back since she was born in that certain few months where she doesn't have to legally be in school til the next school year.  I hate my county...  it is so fudged up!  It is not even like I can move to a better cluster because they have made it where ALL the clusters include some schools that are downright, completely sh**ty, to give kids who live in those schools' neighborhoods a chance to go to a better school in the same cluster.  Their map drawing is the most ridiculous thing I have seen!

[outdoorsy]

Carmen, I'm glad you asked about the shower issue. Our sisters are throwing us a shower and I don't want it to be too gift-centered, partly because I don't want to ask too much of people, and partly because my sis is giving us a lot of the baby gear she's no longer using. I think a registry is still good because it makes life easier for guests who want to get a store-bought gift, and it prevents getting duplicates of things. We are planning to put a lot of diapers on there!

Cananny - Great pix!

Pokey - I'm sorry to hear about the previa. It sucks to have to worry about something. I'll be thinking of you and hoping its resolves and that you don't need a c-section!

AFM - Just this moment got the results of the genetic testing for Down syndrome and we passed. It is 98+ percent accurate, the best you can get without amnio. Whew!

A question for those who are cloth diapering -- I know very little about it --- My sister-in-law said some people use a thin paper liner to prevent the cloth from getting so soiled. Is that true? Is that normal for cloth diapering? How does it work and where do you buy them? Info please? Thanks.

[lisedea]

outdoorsy--Yes, liners are sold and some people use them. http://www.amazon.com/Bumkins-Flushable-Diaper-Liner-Neutral/dp/B002T5Q01C/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1360085014&sr=8-1&keywords=diaper+liners We will not because we have heard that they are really bad on septic systems.

[seraf]

Hi Amanda and Starling!

Tiger, sorry you feel crappy. Good luck with schools.

Outdoorsy, yay for the results of your DS test. We don't use liners, but they would be nice for early solids. Pre-solids poop can go straight into the wash. Lots of solids, you can just shake the poo into the toilet. In between, eh. On the bright side, they usually poop at predictable times so you might only need 1 or 2 liners a day.

Soren seems all better. I worked through most of it, but a couple of days were nerve wracking. He had laryngitis too, so I was worried he would wake and cry but we wouldn't be able to hear him. Glad it's over.