Queer, Pregnant, and Parenting--February and March 2013! - Page 19

[seraf]

Steph, that was always my issue, if I don't get to pick, what difference will knowing make? I loved the surprise and the conversations with people who love to guess. My girl is crafty, my oldest boys is sweet and gentle and loves math, S is my only "boy" but most of his friends are still girls. S2 is just a ball of giggles, time will tell.

Bigfoot, the pump is for the mom, so wouldn't you get separate prescriptions anyway? Since you're separate people. We occasionally both pump, but not simultaneously, so one pump works for us both (lol, picturing you both sitting side by side on the couch pumping while rocking a baby makes me giggle, that's what the big brother is for?). I don't know much about nursing multiples, since we both have enough milk for one. I assume if she just feeds them at every feeding, eats, drinks and sleeps (haha) enough she would make as much as they need. I know it doesn't work that way for everyone, but just nursing 1, I made enough for 2 or 3 until I regulated at a few months.

[erinTNgirl]

Ok I'm back...sorry it takes me several days to get a chance to sit down and write but I keep up with you guys every day.

Thanks for all the welcomes!

easttowest- I just feel like it's a boy based on all the theories and the donor has 2 boys already. I feel good other than mild back pain and stetching. How about you guys?

pokeyAC- Things are great so far. This is definitely the best trimester thus far

Tourneymama- That is very interesting about determining the sex of the babies. I may have to post my pics on here just out of curiousity!

granite- YAY!!!!! So happy for you!!!

esenbee2- That is the coolest announcement I have ever seen! And very original if I do say so myself!

knitting - I think your pictures are very sweet

Congrats on all the new babies! And those peeps that are getting close, too, good luck!

AFM: On the name thing, we have six names picked out for each (narrowed down from a list of 40ish...) We actually had several of the same names picked out before we combined them, which made me really happy. We look at the list every few weeks and reevaluate. I don't really have any info on breastfeeding, but I am sure I will need everyone's help in a few months. The hardest part now is finding the perfect baby shower invitation and planning the showers, oh and the best crib...but being a vegan makes it more difficult for sure. Any suggestions on some things I just won't be able to live without I should ask for at the shower??

[seraf]

Erin, vegan crib?? Is there a meaty crib? I'm picturing a ribcage bassinet now. Amber teething necklaces are cool. Whatever babywearing thing you like best. Socks! Baby food squeezy pouches, all the kids seem to dig them. Sara says paper plates, boppy, lanolin. Milk saver is a pretty cool product if you're leaky. A meal train is awesome if your friends are like that. We registered for car seats, socks, bibs, books, glass bottle sippy lids and musical instruments. People grumbled that we didn't register for enough and then got nothing we registered for besides the car seats and musical toys. Everyone gave them clothes and blankets with stuffed animal heads.

[prettyisa]

Erin--I'd say to throw sleep sacks on the list, nice wooden hand toys (like the ones from Haba), cloth diaper covers if you plan to use them (no one wants to get the diapers themselves, for some reason, but the covers are close enough to being cute clothes that you might get some takers). If you are worried about what goes into bath stuff put down the brands you'd want to receive. We got SO MUCH BATH STUFF at our showers, and I still have no idea why. Ditto Sara on the animal loveys, for some reason. Honestly, I registered for everything i thought I would want to go out and buy if it wasn't gifted, except for breastfeeding supplies, since those felt too personal for me to receive from my mom's church friends. People will get you what they want anyway. I will say that I don't think we got anything (other than possibly some baby shampoo--I didn't check) that wasn't vegan. Most kids stuff is plastic, cotton, or mixed manmade fibers anyway these days. If you don't use wool, I'd go ahead and put that on the invitation--people who don't get it can just go ahead and assume you're allergic.

Bigfoot--glad to hear the doctor is supportive of you inducing lactation! Now I hope your insurance will step up and provide both pumps!

I usually just said, 'a baby' when people asked what we were having. Maybe it's a strange midwest thing, but that's usually how it was phrased here--'do you know what you're having?' At least there was no need to correct most people on sex v. gender! I had some of the same undesired hangups as Steph about what a girl or boy would be like. Not sure why, exactly, since I split my interests pretty exactly between my parents' hobbies.

Seraf, I hope you are feeling better!

AFM, Edie actually let us sleep last night. For the past week she's been up for hours, either nursing or crying (offering to nurse more didn't help, nor did bringing her to bed, rocking her, etc, etc). I don't know if it's more teeth, or what, but it was miserable for all of us. Last night I convinced her to really nurse the first time she woke up and then, bless her little baby self, she slept until the new 7:30. I feel human again!

[planet]

Hey everyone!

Sphinxy. YES! When people would ask if I was having a boy or a girl, I would often say, "probably, but who knows for sure?"

Cordelia, "boy for now, but who knows." LOVE it, gonna steal that one. Thanks!

Seraf, how are you all settling in?

Bigfoot, you guys are in WA, right? If you qualify for WIC, they will give you a free breast pump if you work 20 + hrs / week. That's how I got my pump, it's pretty awesome! Just so you know.

Afu, Wylie is now 6 months old. What? I can't believe it. Yesterday was my birthday and his half birthday. Turns out he was born on my half birthday. pretty cool, right? He's at a really fun stage right now, laughing and smiling and really aware of the world and people around him. I'll try to post some pics.

[planet]

[IMG][IMG]

[planet]

[carmen358]

Originally Posted by erinTNgirl 

Ok I'm back...sorry it takes me several days to get a chance to sit down and write but I keep up with you guys every day.

Thanks for all the welcomes!

easttowest- I just feel like it's a boy based on all the theories and the donor has 2 boys already. I feel good other than mild back pain and stetching. How about you guys?

pokeyAC- Things are great so far. This is definitely the best trimester thus far

Tourneymama- That is very interesting about determining the sex of the babies. I may have to post my pics on here just out of curiousity!

granite- YAY!!!!! So happy for you!!!

esenbee2- That is the coolest announcement I have ever seen! And very original if I do say so myself!

knitting - I think your pictures are very sweet

Congrats on all the new babies! And those peeps that are getting close, too, good luck!

AFM: On the name thing, we have six names picked out for each (narrowed down from a list of 40ish...) We actually had several of the same names picked out before we combined them, which made me really happy. We look at the list every few weeks and reevaluate. I don't really have any info on breastfeeding, but I am sure I will need everyone's help in a few months. The hardest part now is finding the perfect baby shower invitation and planning the showers, oh and the best crib...but being a vegan makes it more difficult for sure. Any suggestions on some things I just won't be able to live without I should ask for at the shower??

You probably already have these things on your list but here's my list....

• car seat
• baby carrier
• cloth diapers/covers
• small baby cloths (we used these instead of commercial wipes for a really long time)
• light blankets
• blanket/quilt/whatever to lay on the floor to put baby on if you don't want to put him or her on the floor directly
• lanolin (we used this for a diaper cream/barrier when required too)
• baby thermometer
• baby clothes
• some place to put baby when he/she gets mobile and you need to have a shower or something...we ended up getting a crib around 5 or 6 months so I felt more comfy having a shower without worrying...it converted into a toddler bed which is the only time she slept in it

As for toys, I don't really think babies need toys for quite some time...if you aren't interested in having lots of "stuff" I think toys is where you can really cut down. DD used to enjoy playing with a wash cloth ;)

We didn't use soap or shampoo at first...just water. We had some dr. bronner's baby soap and some california baby baby soap (which we use for hair washing now) that we would squirt a tiny bit in the tub when she was quite a bit older. She has very sensitive skin so we just avoided it altogether.

[Skyandtru]

CONGRATS ON THE BABIES LADIES!!!!

[Skyandtru]

sorry to be a pain about the contest but voting ends soon can you guys please vote for us please http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1374807/motherings-annual-pregnancy-photo-contest-win-a-hushamok-baby-hammock/160 we are post 161-164 thank you guys

[starling&diesel]

Erin...

If you're a minimalist and don't want a lot of *stuff*, you can also ask people to contribute to a big ticket item.  For our first child we asked for people to contibute towards the purchase of a bike trailer.  We love the Stokke Tripp Trapp chairs for when baby is ready to sit at the table with you.  We have one for each child, and is the first thing we'll get (from CL, mind) if we are able to adopt the little girl we're trying for.

As for what I really appreciate when baby is newly born:

sling

wrap

healthy, nutritious food that we can easily reheat or put together

carseat 

comfy nursing chair

[lisedea]

Hey all! I have been reading along and enjoying all of the pictures.... I have been feeling as though I am in a world of limbo and am having a difficult time connecting to anything outside of my life of eating and sleeping. It really is a strange feeling.

Anyway, I wanted to share what happened to us recently....

Monday: I went in to the hospital because I had been feeling extra pressure on my cervix and my contractions (I have been having them a lot) had become stronger. After monitoring the babies for about an hour and checking my cervix, the doctor on call determined everything was fine.

Tuesday: Broke out into a rash...PUPPS. Uggg. Wanted to give birth soon to get rid of them....ended up regretting that passing thought and felt super guilty for feeling that way...

Thursday: Went to our routine monthly u/s to check baby growth. I was feeling super sick and dizzy almost the entire time...even with repositioning...I have just gotten so big! When the u/s tech got to baby C (last baby checked) his heart rate was up to 205 and his cord blood flow was really hard to measure. By the time she did get a measurement from it, it showed that it was extremely decreased (and possibly transverse). She rechecked his heart rate and it was down--but still slightly elevated. She called the radiologist to check out her measurements and they admitted us immediately. The nurses and doctor on call told us that we would most likely be delivering that night or the following morning/afternoon. The doctor even told me that he thought that even if we made it past that amount of time, I would probably not make it more than a week. The babies were monitored all night long (all heart rates were normal--even baby C) and I was not allowed to eat or drink anything (I could have ice chips) in case I had to go into surgery. Ugg. Miserable. I slept maybe an hour and a half. The next afternoon I had an appointment with my high risk doctor to recheck the blood cord flow. Our primary OB told us that we had two options--either things would look the same and we would stay in the hospital until the cord flow was bad enough to deliver OR it would already look bad and we would deliver that afternoon. When we finally got into our appointment (he was late because the other triplet mom had some serious complications) and they were able to get some good readings of the cord blood flow. Everything was completely normal. Totally shocked all of us (the u/s room was filled with 7 other people not including D and myself). They ended up releasing me and I am BEYOND happy to be home and able to keep these babies in a little longer. We think that the cord reading could have been off for two reasons...either my blood flow was cut off too much and poor baby C was struggling because of it OR the u/s tech didn't get a good reading--the edge of the cord flow rather than a more accurate part. (We have actually had issues with this same u/s tech freaking us out before over nothing...D wants to request never to have her again...we'll see.)

So, now we have a TON of appointments each week to keep an eye on them all to make sure everything is going okay and I am on even stricter bed rest. Better than staying in the hospital though... I am just over 30 weeks and hoping to make it 4 more!!!
Edited by lisedea - 3/10/13 at 4:56pm

[prettyisa]

Lise--that's so scary! Glad you are home and that the babies are doing well! I would definitely say no to that tech again--not worth delivering before you have to just because someone isn't very good at their job. And I'm so, so sorry about the PUPPPS. I got it after delivery, and it was horrible. I hope they can give you something to help--I think I just got some topical cream that helped a little but was still baby safe.

[bigfoot]

Lise - how scary! I am with D. Try to avoid that tech. How terrible to freak you out for no reason.

[seraf]

Lise, that's all kinds of scary. I'm glad everything is ok.

And in fine. Thanks for the well wishes. I only felt bad for a out 12 hours. The boys are snotty and cranky again. S, the kids and I are going down home tonight for the first time in a week. I'm curious how he will react. The boys are snotty again, but today they seem pretty chipper.

[carmen358]

Isa: Hooray for sleep! It makes such a difference....for everyone.

Happy birthday and happy half birthday to Wylie, planet! 6 months is a super fun age...enjoy :)

lise, that sounds terrifying. I'm so happy you are back at home....hang in there and I hope you make your goal of 34 weeks!

Afm: I've had such a hard week. DD was admitted into Children's hospital last Sunday for pneumonia and RSV (and her first ear infection). We were there for 6 long days and it was pretty scary for the first little while. She seems pretty much back to 100% now though and we had a fairly "normal" weekend. I was staying at the hospital every night as my DP was sick too...and I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep at home anyway. I am pretty run down and even more behind on sleep.

Listing our place has been pushed a week or so because we lost so much time last week...but we are slowly getting things over to the house and I feel pretty good about the progress we've made.

Baby seems to be doing well. I had a couple of what I'm thinking were braxton hicks when I was in the hospital....a bit freaky this early! I'm also starting to struggle more with anxiety around the baby not making it or being born unhealthy which is really tough.

[seraf]

Hugs Carmen. When do you get the big ultrasound that measures everything and makes sure she has healthy parts? Have you been eating and drinking enough while away from home? Dehydration makes BH worse. I had BH from the first trimester with all my pregnancies. Just little squeezy contractions. I had big BH all through the third trimester with the last 2. That's how A was accidentally unassisted, I didn't believe it was real labor until half an hour before she was born.

[outdoorsy]

Carmen, I totally hear you on the anxiety issue. When I had my fetal survey, I couldn't clearly see fingers one of the hands, but the tech insisted it was fine. I haven't had an ultrasound since. But I figure that since I'm past the major birth-defect testing, it is time to try and say "what will be will be" and enjoy the pregnancy as much as possible, because before we know it, it will be over.

[AmandaHope]

Lise: So scary!  I am hugely relieved that you are home and that your OB figured out that there was a false alarm.  Good reason to insist on repeat testing whenever there is something funny going on. Whew! Sorry about the PUPPS, though. UGH. I can understand your feeling like you're in limbo land. As hard as it is to stay there for another month, I hope you do.  Is there anything any of us can do to help you through this a bit?  

Isa: Glad you got a good night's rest!

Carmen: SO GLAD that you are both home and safe. I've been glad to follow on FB and that all turned out ok. 

Planet: SWEET pics, and happy birthday!

Bigfoot: Exciting about the support for lactation induction.  With two babes, I bet that whatever milk you have to offer will be hugely appreciated by everyone involved.  What a gift!

I feel like everyone has covered the baby necessities and desirables pretty well.  

AFU: Tonight is night 4 of night weaning (according to Dr. Jay Gordon's plan here and using this lovely book for Lilah).  Night 1 was rough (3 hours up and alternating between screaming, fussing, cuddling, and playing), but night 2 was better, and last night was great. Tonight, though, is the big one: the first night with no nursing at all between 11pm-6am.  I'm trying to stay positive and to see it as an opportunity for her to gain some competence and autonomy and for us to allow her some room to grow and express her feelings about the changes she's facing as she transitions from infancy to toddlerhood.  I mostly believe all of that, but I also feel scared and guilty to a lesser extent. Her success last night (crying for 10 seconds and then going right back to sleep after I told her that the "milkies are sleeping") leads me to believe that she can do it, so off we go!  Thoughts of strength and sleep are most appreciated! 

[pokeyAC]

Good luck putting the milkies to sleep, Amanda!  That does sound tough.

Carmen-I'm glad DD is feeling better and you are getting moved.  I'm sorry you are having anxiety.  I think that's totally normal given your past.  I listened to a pregnancy meditation that told you to listen to all those negative voices and thank them for sharing their thoughts and then move on.  I think about these things too.  Yesterday I was thinking about it and I told myself that with every day the baby is in my belly, the chance that something will go wrong decreases, and the chances that he will be born healthy increase.  We all know things can happen, but I try not to focus on it.

lise-I'm so glad everything turned out to be fine!  That would definitely be scary, though.  I have to agree about not using that tech anymore.  You don't need the extra stress.  I'm sorry about the PUPPS too.  I hope you can get it under control and go through the next few weeks without too much trouble.

Happy Birthday(s), Planet!  

prettyisa-I hope the sleeping trend continues!

seraf-I'm glad you are feeling fine.  I hope the boys feel better soon.

 erin and outdoorsy!

bigfoot-Good luck with your induction protocol.  It sounds tough but amazing.

AFM-I'm doing fine.  I'm starting to feel more pregnant these days.  I can tell the baby is getting bigger.  I've been craving sweets but trying not to overdo it.  It's not good for me or my teeth.  I have my GTT coming up and I really want to pass it.  I'm trying to balance things out with protein.  DW made me beans and rice for my snack this week.  I had a small emotional breakdown the other day.  We were having a disagreement about the baby shower and I started crying.  I was feeling sorry for myself and upset with DW. I got over it, but it kinda sucked.  We tried to go shopping to look at convertible carseat options, but we got overwhelmed and left.  We also tried to figure out how to fold the stroller we selected and were completely stumped.  Then we saw some lesbians in the parking lot with the same one getting into their car.  We sat there nonchalantly and watched them fold it up.  Turns out we were trying to do it completely backwards.  Oh well!  Sunday we had brunch with friends of friends who are expecting a baby a month before us.  They were really cool, but it made me feel like I am unprepared.  They already did a hypnobirthing class and they have toured daycares and picked one.  Another friend takes their child there and it's apparently totally amazing.  They have psychologists and experienced child development experts who observe and work with the children.  However, it would cost about $2200 a month which is just way too expensive.  Then there's that little voice in my head that is like, "Am I a bad parent if I have to go with a cheaper daycare?  Isn't it worth having the best for my baby"?  Uggh!  Isn't it too soon for the competitive BS to start?   Babies mostly need TLC, right?  Anyway, I organized my childcare info yesterday so I can start contacting people.