Sorry this will be long, but I've needed to get this off my chest for a while now.
Just as the topic says, we've kept foods away for a year and I was okay with all the comments of "a sip of soda won't hurt her" "doctors say she can eat as young as 4 months" and "is she gaining enough weight?" Those comments weren't so bad because I know my family all have those theories that that stuff is okay and are worried about my first baby (because first time moms may not know enough).
The problem is, now that we're introducing foods, our family wonders why she's not eating more. We're starting on veggies and maybe I could be going a little quicker, but this is just how we're doing it, and she's tasting something new each week basically, and when she's not, she's having fun playing with--and eating a little--of the things she's already tried. I'd say we're doing well because while she's not over the 50th percentile, she gets so many compliments (by WIC office people and Drs included) about how she looks like she's thriving. And yet, here's what I get from my family:
My mom (I LOVE my mom, she's better than almost every mom I've met, but sometimes she has her comments that annoy me) heard how DD woke every hour the last few nights and asked why. Well, I can't tell her why because DD won't tell me since she's only 14-months-old, but my mom says "she's probably hungry." Well, I did think about that, but since she used to go at least 4 hours without eating, and then every 3 or 2 after that, it makes no sense that she's SUDDENLY hungry when her eating habits haven't changed through the day except adding a small snack of veggies. More realistically, she's caught the cold I just got over and her throat is bugging her and drinking something soothes her (I wish I could have drank water all night long to ease the discomfort that made me feel like gagging). Anyway, she wants to know why I won't give her rice cereal to fill her belly for the night.
I also have the sister who has worked with children her whole life and of course none of them are AP babies so she thinks it's silly that the first thing I gave my baby was chunks of avocado to play with because that's not "normal." Even telling her "when you have your own babies, I won't tell you how to raise them, and you don't tell me how to raise mine" doesn't work with her (which I found out when she voiced her opinion that it's "ridiculous" that I sing to my DD when she cries because she has to lay still for a diaper. But I digress, I'll stay on one topic here.)
The one that bothers me most though is when my MIL says "you can't breastfeed her until she's 15" and her latest "there comes a point where you won't want to breastfeed when she's 18" (notice how it goes up). That's an insult to my intelligence! I tried to smile and tease "Aww, why not?" But she seems to think I really will be BFing DD until she's 18! She's constantly trying to manipulate me to doing what SHE thinks is right, like how she sent me links of "what to feed a one-year-old" which consisted of cheerios and PB&J sandwiches which I WON'T be starting with. After sending me those links, she sent a message about what a "GREAT job" I'm doing. (Then why did she feel the need to send me those links?). My response to that was that I did actually appreciate the LLLI link that encouraged waiting a year and that the first foods you give them will be more to play with and investigate since the baby is so curious and won't be ready to suddenly jump into eating a full meal. Yet it was a few weeks after that that she made the comment about how I shouldn't BF to 18 years.
I'm just so frustrated with those comments and can't believe she'd really think I'd go that far, and I'm so close to posting on my FB the comment that "I'll be breastfeeding my DD until she's 18 because breastmilk is so much healthier than anything else" but 1) I feel that's a little too mean (since I'm not normally that publicly sarcastic) and 2) I'm scared to see who all really would think I'm going to do that. I'm sick of being judged as stupid, crazy, uninformed, and manipulated (by the baby).
Mostly I just needed to vent this to someone who has been in the same shoes, because unfortunately, nothing I say to try and stop the comments seems to work. (I did actually have a breakthrough with one SIL because she and my husband got in a fight about how she gave DD at 6 months a taste of a tater-tot and she was arguing that it's "perfectly fine" and my husband was arguing that "it's disrespectful, just as if I gave your daughter alcohol" and since that wasn't the SAME EXACT argument, she couldn't wrap her head around it until she saw that I was crying because I missed my baby's first taste of food. THAT she understood, but does it have to come to me hurt and in tears before they respect my decision??)