there are days i feel greedy for wanting more kids. im not greedy. everyone has a picture of what their family will be like. Mine includes 4 children. to spin my tale...our oldest was an honest oops. a BCP "failure". Best failure ever :) so i didnt think anything of trying to get pg on purpose. never in a million yrs would i have imagined the journey i would be taken on. while on that journey(if you do the math, our oldest will be 13 in a week adn the twins are 2y3m, so there is 11ish years total), ive helped 2 other families have children as a gestational surrogate. also one of the best things ive ever done. month after month of disappointment, i know how that feels. during those years(8.5 of active ttc), my 3 sisters had 5 children between them. you cant be mad at family for having kids, you just grin and bear it even though your heart is breaking. It took alot to get hubs on board for IVF #1. the process was stressful. we tried to make it fun. we even took our oldest along to PA for the duration of the cycle. we went to DC, Baltimore, NYC, Philidelphia. Made an educational family fun trip out of it. I dont regret a minute of it. I dont think i would do it again, it was stressful and insane! but we didnt want our daughter to feel left out and it made sense for her to be there. and we did get pregnant after all. we did have 2 gorgeous babies (boy/girl) who make me crazy but who i couldnt love more. i see my children and think, look at my miracles. look what we made. how could i not want more of that?
so here we are. hubs says no IVF (but for some reason IUI isnt as big a deal...riddle me that). we can go through the testing again, but not anything drastic. he's an oddball. so here i am. i took soy this cycle to see if it would make me ovulate. im pretty sure it did. but without a progesterone level, i have no confirmation. limbo is not my fav place to be. i wont take clomid again, it was harder to deal with those side effects than from the follistim i took for IVF. i can handle femara(thats a wonderful drug) and soy isnt horrible i suppose. as long as it doesnt make the rest of my cycles as crazy as this one. we wont prob do injectibles again either. thats spendy and with hubs poor swimmers(motility is horrible) its not going to do much. i can make eggs, i can even make healthy eggs. but there isnt much we can do for his issues.
ok, i really need to finish my english paper! thanks for being so supportive