Don't feed into your own negativity! Fight it- do you have any Vitamin D? Maybe this extreme depression has something to do with Seasonal Anxiety/ Depression. Call a help line or someone. Figure this out, Shannon. Be tough. Call your doctor or whoever is on-call. Yes, you can be better and do better. You get stomped on? Learn from it and move on. Get stomped again? Keep going. Figure it out, you are capable. I don't have to know anything else about you to know that you have the ability to seek help. Seek it, find it, do the work- you will get through this all.