I was going to a local hospital, where they said they were VBAC-friendly *as long as you fit XYZ description*. As we got further and further with my visits, it became increasingly suspicious that they weren't as willing as they first indicated, saying things like, "Your DS wasn't a baby, he was a toddler! (10 lbs 7 oz) So we're going to have to make sure you have a "normal" sized baby this time." "VBAC is *very* risky." etc. Even DF was starting to get the feeling they weren't/aren't as VBAC-friendly as we thought, and then a friend told me a story about her birth, where "They were going to let her do a VBAC, but the doctor was sick and didn't want to be there all day, so she made her have repeat c-section." and that was suspicious to me/us.
There is another hospital close to where I live, and I have called there a couple of times the last couple of weeks, trying to get information. I finally got ahold of someone on Monday or Tuesday, and they said that they *might* take me on as a patient, but they would have to ask the OB and call me back. They were supposed to call me back the next day, but they haven't, so I'm thinking they won't take me on.
I found a *ton* of reviews for a natural-minded OB in a city about 45 minutes to an hour away, and was *uber* excited to finally have found "the one" only to find out they don't take my insurance. So now I'm back to square one, and on top of not having a care provider (DF isn't terribly thrilled with the idea of UC.), I've got sinus *something* going on for the last couple of weeks, and am miserable. My family keeps telling me I'll just "have to go back to (previous care provider)" and "I'm (my family)/we're sure they wouldn't *make* you have a c-section if you didn't *need* one, so you shouldn't worry." But that's *exactly* what happened with DD, so I can't/don't have the same kind of trust and confidence that they must have, because I/we were lied to when I was pregnant with DD, and that's the exact reason I'm in this stupid situation I'm in now, because I was coerced/forced into a c-section that wasn't necessary. I would like to have birth center birth, but both the local-ish birth centers closed, and the next nearest ones are 2+ hours away, and I don't think they would take my insurance, either.
I just don't know why it's so dog gone hard to have a VBAC. Part of me says I should just resign myself to have repeat c-section, and that way I can plan it, and at least have an idea it's going to happen, but part of me knows that that is just giving up on something that I (feel I) deserve, to have a baby the way that is (I think) safest, and most natural, and most importantly, barring emergency, the birth experience that *I* want.