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dh food allergies/intolerances stressing me out!

post #1 of 5
Thread Starter 

My dh has always been allergic to dairy. Before kids, we mainly cooked dinner together and substituting diary was not difficult. At that time he would eat soy based substitutions. Fast forward 10 years and two kids, we have kind of slid into "traditional" roles where I am the at home mom, cooking dinner for the whole family every night. He does help BBQ or such if I ask him, its not like he demands I cook dinner or anything. However, a few years ago he became intolerant to MANY foods and with two semi picky kids I feel very overwhelmed trying to make dinner where we all eat at the same time. There is a list of about 10 meals which I usually make that seem to not be to overwhelming to cook and but they still seem to give dh stomach aches.. He did visit a doc for food allergies, tests were inconclusive. I feel that because he does work a physically and mentally demanding job, I should make a effort to make him a decent dinner that won't make him sick, but I HATE IT. I don't like cooking anymore, I feel terrible when what I do cook makes him ill, and at the end of a long day homeschooling the kids (we are out of the house each day for activities too) I really don;t want to stress out about cooking.

post #2 of 5

No advice, but I hear you.  We have many allergies in this house--competing ones-- and that with one picky eater, it has simply taken the wind out of my sails for cooking.  


It would be nice if he could at least come up with menu idea himself, that way, the burden of guilt that you put on yourself for when he gets sick would not be an issue.


What is he eating for lunch?  How are you sure that it is his dinner and not his lunch that is giving him trouble?


We also homeschool, and being a full-time homeschooling parent is also a demanding job.  He needs to work on this together with you.  I guess I did have some advice.

post #3 of 5
I don't have any advice either, but wanted to tell you that I feel the same way. I find cooking exhausting and people think I like it bc I do it all the time. No! It is bc I have to! My DH is ok, but my kids and me with the food intolerances, etc. ugh.

When someone is picky on top of that, I can go bananas. I wish I had an Oprah-style chef, making healthy delicious food for all of us!
post #4 of 5
Stick as close to raw foods as possible. Sting beans with grated parm cheese may b funfor dipping for kids..
I have many allergies myself am vegetarian n hubby is picky. Maybe ur hubby shld b tested for an ulcer? In any case, Good luck!
post #5 of 5

I hear you too!  My dh works a demanding job, and I'm the one at home with the kids all but 2 nights a week, so do most of the cooking.  Our 3 kids and I all have different food allergies/intolerances, the boys are picky eaters, and dh has to avoid things high in purines...between all of us, it can be quite challenging! 


If I might ask, what foods does your dh react to? I'd be happy to give you some recipes and advice!  FYI: We avoid gluten, soy, corn, dairy, shellfish, and red meat...then there are things I have "oral allergies" to that I avoid, but dh and the kids can eat (such as pineapple, kiwi, almonds, walnuts etc).   The kids and I have problems with too many salicylates as well, so I've learned quite a bit about different foods to avoid and good substitutions.  As for family meals, I make dinner that is healthy and suitable for everyone, and the picky eaters just have to deal with it or don't eat!  The only thing I insist on is that they at least try one bite of everything and eat their veggies.  I'm not about to play "restaurant" and cook 5 different meals every night...they've just got to learn to try new things.


Has your dh been tested for celiac, or have you tried a serious elimination diet?  It's a pain in the butt, but totally worth it to find out exactly what he's reacting to.  We took the boys to the allergist with no answers; the only way we found help was with a naturopath, who used non-invasive kinesiology testing.  She was more accurate with this method than all the tests the doctors did!


Anyway let me know what foods you need to avoid, I'd be happy to help!  In the meantime, I get where you're at - hang in there! Big hugs: hug2.gif

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