I have an off & on relationship with my boss. I get the feeling often that she doesn't trust the thoroughness of my work & that leads us to conflict. I am not going to insist that I am the best employee she ever had but I work diligently & with a smile on my face. I take normal criticism well.
But there are times when she is unnecessarily nasty to me. For instance today she came into my office ready to argue about my work product. I pulled out my notebook, was attentive & answered her questions. She said some unduly negative things about my work, knowing I had worked very hard to finish the assignment ahead of HER vacation. Fine. But then she tells me she is angry, ANGRY! because I had discussed the assignment with my coworker (someone who is my senior & has much more experience than I do) in what she percieved to be a one-sided way (tho she only heard snippets of our conversation or knew it second hand). To be clear there is nothing confidential that I cannot say to my coworker.
I was stunned & found myself in tears moments after she left. Every time she upsets me I am ashamed that someone can so quickly make me feel like a failure. It took me hours to calm down... Heck I'm still not calm.
What upsets me the most is the thought that I will never earn this woman's trust. I will never be good enough. Also, the thought that I am trading in time with my family to spend time in this toxic environment. It kills me that I have to spend more time with her than my son.
Ok I'll stop now. Ugh! Thank goodness I don't have to see her for a bit!