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need some input, please please please

post #1 of 6
Thread Starter 

My DD (who's 5) has always had a bit of anxiety/ocd type issues but lately they are spinning out of control


Some of her issues:

She will say something "mommy I'm hungry.." and before I even have time to answer she goes "did you hear me say that, I said "mommy I am hungry, did you hear that" and I say yes love I did hear it...she does the same thing. I'll say somthing like "do you wanna go to the park?" and she'll say "okay! I said okay, did you hear me say okay? I said okay did you hear it.." 


That's the most mild one.


She's also obsessed and very sensitive to media-type things. We were in Target and  she saw a picture of someone with no shirt on (a man) and she was like "mommy I'm sorry, I looked at the picture, he had no shirt on, I'm so sorry I looked at it, he had no shirt on..." this went on all day. She kept saying at random times "I just thought about the man with no shirt on, I'm sorry momma.." We are a very open family in terms of nudity and private parts and talking things over -- we are also very sensitive as to WHAT she watches, so she's never seen anything that would traumatize her. Her other thing is that she says "I hate you, I hate you.." than she starts crying and says "I love you, I hate you, I don't know which one!" and I just hold her and say I know you love me, etc...



I had VERY similar issues when I was younger and my mother was NOT supportive, so I'm trying to be there for her but it's all day sometimes and it's exhausting me (just being honest. bah) I am NOT interested what-so-ever in medicating her, and we are working with her on some home things like making a mind jar to "quiet" her mind, we "dance the thoughts away.." and we also drew pictures of all things that make her happy to look at when she's feeling overwhelmed. Those things are helping 100% and dshe's mentioned how helpful they are


My question:


Has anyone dealt with something like this? Are there any supplements or things I can have her take to ease it? I'm also going to be doing a huge diet turn-around and eliminating things to see if that makes a difference. 

post #2 of 6

Mommariffic, I wish I had advice for you but do not. This sounds to me like the confessing aspect of OCD. Is she old enough for cognitive behavioral therapy? I am guessing not. My DD dealt with some OCD (not that aspect) but it morphed into other issues so I don't have experience with this (and she was older). Just wanted to give you some hugs. Hang in there and I hope you can get some helpful suggestions.

post #3 of 6

I'm sorry your daughter is going through this. She's fortunate to have a mom who is supportive.


I don't know a whole lot about OCD yet, but my 4-year-old has obsessive-compulsive tendencies along with his autism. I imagine someday he'll also have an OCD diagnosis. He's nonverbal, so I don't know the thoughts in his head, but he has behaviors that tell me his thought process may be similar to your daughter's. My son has other issues that are more urgent than the OCD-like behaviors right now, so we're treating them first and I haven't yet considered what therapies might help the OCD.


I have to say, it struck me that you mentioned meds are not an option. What if you try other things first, and learn that you cannot dance the thoughts away? I think meds do have a place. They're not to be handed out like candy, but it sounds like your daughter has a serious issue and maybe all options should be considered? That's my way of thinking anyway.

post #4 of 6
Hi, just a thought, but have you had her tested for strep? My DD would do the exact same things (different phrases of course), but while she's always been a somewhat sensitive child, those OCD behaviors flared all at once. She was diagnosed with PANDAS. It's been a correct diagnosis, and she will have nearly a complete regression of symptoms when each flare up is treated with the correct antibiotics. Now, we are not happy with giving abx a lot and I understand too your feeling about meds, but when we do go ahead and do the abx SHE expresses how glad she is to feel a sense of normalcy in herself again. It's worth it. This may not be at all what your daughter has but it's sure worth looking into. PANDAS makes my daughter have what she calls bad thoughts that she must confess and then feels extreme uncontrollable remorse for. Among other things. And if you had some similar issues as a child it's not unheard of for adverse strep reactions to be familial.

Just my thoughts. I feel for you...

post #5 of 6
Forgot to add.... While my daughter is in an active flare up of the OCD stuff we've found that rescue remedy in conjunction with olive and elm flower essence is extremely helpful.
post #6 of 6

Oh she sounds so sweet. What a lucky girl to have a loving mom who tries so hard to understand her. You are doing a great job!


My DS who is now 11 can get  "stuck" on thoughts like that. My other DS who is 14 has what I would call a very light verbal filter, in that without giving it consistent effort he will say nearly everything he is thinking. It is absolutely exhausting and there is no shame in admitting that. It sounds like your daughter is doing both. I can't say what her formal diagnosis would be, but with my boys it was/is related to autism. They are both on the mild end of the spectrum. 11 yr old DS also has extreme anxiety and phobias. 


I agree you can try many things before meds, but remember like anything else with parenting, you have to stay open and flexible. If you have a special needs child, this is essential. There are times that meds are appropriate, just as antibiotics can be appropriate.



But here are some things that I have found to be helpful for the overall mental health and anxious/OCD-type quirks in our family.


1. De-stimulate the visual field. My kids' symptoms are always worse after any type of screen time, or even going shopping. Stores like Target are extremely visually over-stimulating. Think back to cave-man times. What is our brain designed to see? Trees blowing in the wind, grass, birds singing, rain falling, a fire flickering. Try to keep her in nature and nature-inspired environments as much as possible. Keep TV and radio off. I frequently shop at night after my kids are in bed to avoid subjecting them to grocery store overload. 


2. Create a predictable daily routine and stick to it whenever possible. Its soothing to young children to know what to expect. Waldorf Education is a good resource for ideas, and I have found the concepts overall to be very healing for my anxious kiddos. 


2. Omega 3 Fatty Acids. Get her taking a clean source of Omega 3. Nordic Naturals is good. Give her 1 tsp in small bit of orange juice every morning. Swirl and swig it! It will taste a bit fishy but its not bad. Even my picky kids will do it. Omega 3's are essential for brain health. You can do it with her (I do!)


3. Magnesium. Give her a calming Epsom salt bath which is magnesium sulfate. It will give her body extra magnesium which is a calming mineral and also the sulfate part supports the liver detox pathways which keep her brain and body clean. Start with 1/2 C and go up to 2 C in a warm bath. You can also try Natural Calm which is a magnesium citrate fizzy drink mix. 


4. Keep artificial stuff out of her food, period. No food dyes or additives. Try to keep it out of her body care products too. And if you can, slowly get it out of your home entirely (scented candles, sprays, perfumes, etc). For my sensitive kiddos, artificial stuff wreaks havoc on their nervous systems. 


I agree to look at her diet. Perhaps a food journal would be a good place to start. If there is anything you can remember bothering her as a baby, consider that strongly. IME foods that may show up as GI issues as a baby (reflux, diarrhea, constipation, rashes) become behavior triggers later, even once GI issues resolve. 

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