FWIW, most of the unparented children I know are not unschooled, radical or otherwise.
Ambersose-- how old is your daughter? My thought about that kind of situation is that I need to periodically ask myself if the amount of help I'm giving is age appropriate. A small child might have trouble reaching paper towels, and therefore might need help cleaning up a spill, but otherwise, I think it's reasonable to give a child the same opportunity to clean up after themselves we would give an adult. I grew up with kids whose parents loved to swoop in and fix things whenever they made a mistake, and over time, the underlying message was "we don't think you can handle your own problems". Giving someone a chance to fix their own mistake can be a sign of respect.
I totally agree with what you are saying (both parts). This was my five year old daughter and all I did to help was get her more napkins to use for the clean up because the few she had were not enough. I would do the same for an adult. The only napkins available were the ones in the bathroom down the hall with one of those wave your hand and wait dispensers. It was not easy to get enough towels at once to clean up the large spill. The troop leader apologized as well, admitting she was a little over zealous in that situation.