Originally Posted by DuckDuckDuck
I was not the first to use the term on this thread. I am new to this type of parenting and currently on the route as described by
avismama, although I don't expect the girls to be perfectly behaved anymore while I hope they will not turn into tearaways
There are days I wish I had not embarked on this route, there are times my mind says one thing why deep down a feeling says the opposite, like allowing the girls to go out shopping in their socks, or saying nothing as they play on escalators in the mall or when they use the occasional swear word. A couple of days ago my oldest pipped up and asked if she can smoke,
Yet it has been an interesting year, watching them change, while I have no regrets so I far wonder where we are going.
I have only previously ever heard of the term "unparenting" used with derision, as well, just like Miranda. I have never met anyone who chose to unparent on purpose.
I think that respect is a very important thing to model & letting your children play on escalators in the mall isn't very respectful of the rules, the other shoppers, and it's teaching your children to disrespect others property. Plus, people (adults and children) have died on escalators so I wouldn't advocate doing that. I have told my children many times to be careful on escalators (beginning with the first time we ever carried a toddler onto one) for safety reasons, and have shown them the safety guidelines posted on the edges of them and we have talked about why certain rules might be listed.
Of course, it would be great fun to slide down from the top of an escalator railing to the bottom, but modeling that for any 3 or 4 year olds in the area could cause those young children to try it, and get seriously injured. I think your girls are plenty old enough to discuss what might be the repercussions of playing on escalators and I'm sure they would come up with respectful conclusions without anyone having to scold them (which I don't think would be very respectful).
I don't think I unparent at all, but do consider us to be radical unschoolers. I don't impose bedtimes on the children but remind them that we might have a field trip or a club the next morning at 10 or 11, meaning we need to leave by say, 9:15 and we will probably want to pack lunches before we go, so set your alarm for the time you think you need to get up. When they know they have to get up earlier, they go to sleep earlier. When they know we are having a day in, then they stay up as late as they want to. They are respectful and know not to be noisy at night (downstairs neighbors, our 2 year old, us) so it's never an issue.
Shopping in socks doesn't seem like a big deal to me, depending, except that the Board of Health probably forces the stores to make a "no shoes, no shirts, no shopping" rule, so the girls could get kicked out. Socks on a escalator probably isn't safe either (I remember reading that a child died on an escalator because her crocs got stuck in the end of it). Those would be my issues with those things, not anything else.