February 2013 Rockstar Mamas Thread - Page 3

[MarineWife]

That's what I do now any time my eyes start to feel funny. A few drops of breastmilk in them once seems to do the trick. At least, it can't hurt.

I've been trying to fix my computer. I had a search virus that was redirecting all of my searches. I finally had to reset my browser but now I have to try to redo all of the personal settings I had on it. What a pain!

We're set to close on our refi on the 11th. Our monthly payment will go down by a little over $400. I hope it's worth it because we rolled all of the closing costs back into the loan, which means we owe way more than the house is worth. DH seems to be coming around to the idea that we may not be able to move with him when he gets reassigned. At least, he's not taking it as me not supporting him.

Nothing else much going on here. I'm trying to watch all the Supernatural episodes. It's kind of funny. I keep wondering why the demon(s) don't know where these guys are all the time and why they don't just possess them to stop them from hunting and killing the demons. I mean, the demons are supernatural beings, right?

[onetwoten]

Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes 

Also, what does it look like to the child?  Is what I'm doing above their line of vision?  Do I look like I"m just staring at something?   

When I just had Nora and I would sit and read a book, she would often pull at me and say "you're just staring at that.  Come!"  She had no concept that I was *reading*.  That was an eye opener.  It's obvious in hindsight but at the time it was huge for me.  Now I try to think about what I must look like to them when I'm busy.  And usually it can all wait.

That's a good way of putting it. I try to be very verbal with Ten if I can't (don't want) to stop what I'm doing at that moment. "Hey Ten, you want mama to come play with you don't you. Mama is going to come play with you in two minutes ok? I'm just going to finish cutting up this chicken for your lunch. do you see how Im cutting all the pieces nice and small? You're being such a patient girl while mama finishes this. Ok! Mama is done!! Thank you Tenley Harper. You waited so nice and now mama can play with you!" *insert obscene amounts of snuggles and kisses* 

About to start a busy stretch at work. 4-11 today, then 11-630 tomorrow, and then 8-11 thurs. Off until at least Monday after that though, and it's supposed to warm up, so we'll get some time as a family. 

I'm getting such a "change" bug. I want something different-- mostly we're looking at taking a trip this spring, but I'm also looking at houses (not that we are at ALL in the market until we finish the basement at the very least), and we started talking about buying another car too. Again, we really shouldn't spend the money, but we've been borrowing my father's car and while it's nice to have, the car itself is kind of in crap condition, and we're worried something major is going to go on it, and then we're going to feel responsible for the repairs. 

Anywho yeah... basically. I get bored and want to go spend lots of money we shouldn't. 

Keep hearing teaser updates about rob's job prospect, but not enough to make us sure about it. But he went and did a sit in at the office this past weekend, and they all loved him, and someone flat out asked if they were going to hire him and the supervisor said 'yeah probably'. He's less excited about the job than he was a month ago, and less excited than he should be, but i let him know basically that i'd be pissed if he said no. It's too too an opportunity to turn down. We should know by first week of march at the latest, but hopefully towards the end of february. 

[Baby_Cakes]

Originally Posted by MarineWife 

We're set to close on our refi on the 11th. Our monthly payment will go down by a little over $400. I hope it's worth it because we rolled all of the closing costs back into the loan, which means we owe way more than the house is worth. DH seems to be coming around to the idea that we may not be able to move with him when he gets reassigned. At least, he's not taking it as me not supporting him.

Ugh.  What a pain.  I hate financial stuff so much!!  It seems like this whole refi has been SUCH  a headache for you.

I'm really daydreaming about moving today.  I just can't wait to be settled somewhere else.

[lyterae]

I woke up with a horrible headache today and it still hasn't gone away, the vision disturbances are gone and I no longer feel like I'm going to throw up. I guess that makes I'm doing better?

Becca turned 7 yesterday and is busy cross-stitching today, my mom bought her one of the plastic canvas ones with the pattern printed on it. We haven't done school today, I can't think straight. We have homeschool group tomorrow which is already prepped for, we had a snowday last week.

Ben has started drumming and singing LOUDLY multiple times a day. His daddy plays drums and conga's and is not so secretly geeked that Ben seems to be musically inclined. :)

I'm sorry about the house MW, when does your hubby get reassigned?

[MarineWife]

Actually, the refi hasn't been too bad once we found someone better than Navy Fed. They suck! The guy today told me that we will be getting money back at closing instead of needing to pay money. I don't think it will be much but it's something. We should get a decent chunk back from the escrow account with our current lender and we get to skip March's payment so that will put almost $1800 in our pocket.

It just sucks that our total loan amount will go back up. That means there's no chance of selling, but with the lower payment we can afford to rent. Now the only problem is whether or not we'll be able to show it to potential renters while we're still in it. I just don't see how we'll be able to keep it clean enough to show. We talked about putting some stuff in storage, which would certainly make it easier. Houses here have been sitting for months before being rented so we can't move out and wait for it to rent.

lyeteraed ~ That sounds like a migraine. I've never had a migraine and I've never had a headache like that.

DH has already been reassigned. He got unofficial official verbal orders a few weeks ago. His web orders hit the other day but he couldn't view them. He thinks he'll have to go in June or July.

[AnnieA]

Originally Posted by onetwoten 

That's a good way of putting it. I try to be very verbal with Ten if I can't (don't want) to stop what I'm doing at that moment. "Hey Ten, you want mama to come play with you don't you. Mama is going to come play with you in two minutes ok? I'm just going to finish cutting up this chicken for your lunch. do you see how Im cutting all the pieces nice and small? You're being such a patient girl while mama finishes this. Ok! Mama is done!! Thank you Tenley Harper. You waited so nice and now mama can play with you!" *insert obscene amounts of snuggles and kisses* 

I do something similar, like when Ava comes up when I am washing bottles at the sink. She will start pushing on my legs and whining and crying so I usually try to say something along the lines of "Oh, I know sugar! Mama wants to have you too! But I need to finish washing your bottles so you have something clean to drink your milk out of and I need two hands to wash the bottles. I will be done in 2 minutes and then I can give you lots of hugs." It doesn't always necessarily stop the whining but at least I feel like she knows that I've "heard" her and understand she needs me.

Things have been crazy around my house for the last couple of days. Trying to get back in to our regular routine after getting home but Ava has picked up a cold. I didn't get her vit D in her for a few days because she wasn't drinking milk like normal so I wasn't putting it in her bottle. So now she's sick. But I've figured out I can hide it in her elderberry syrup and she takes that usually no problem so I'm getting it in her that way. I'm not taking her to her regular weekly activities until her nose gets a bit better. Every time she sneezes, it's a snot river. Blech.

My milk is almost gone. I'm really sad. I had really hoped to make it to Ava's second birthday. But she's only really drinking it during the night. If she's awake, she'll play around with the bottle and not really drink it. She's drinking more cow's milk than she is breastmilk. I guess I need to be happy that we've made it this far but I'm still sad.

Lyterae, Ben is so big! He looks like a preschooler, not a toddler!

[MarineWife]

Originally Posted by AnnieA 

It doesn't always necessarily stop the whining but at least I feel like she knows that I've "heard" her and understand she needs me.

I say things like that, too, but doesn't usually stop the grabbing and whining. The whining I could stand. The grabbing and pushing keeps me from finishing what I'm doing so then it's even longer before I can get to him.

It is sad when they wean. You really should feel good about working so hard to give Ava any breastmilk at all. The fact that she's gotten it for a year and a half when most babies are lucky to get any for the first few weeks is a big deal.

[AnnieA]

Originally Posted by MarineWife 


I say things like that, too, but doesn't usually stop the grabbing and whining. The whining I could stand. The grabbing and pushing keeps me from finishing what I'm doing so then it's even longer before I can get to him.

It is sad when they wean. You really should feel good about working so hard to give Ava any breastmilk at all. The fact that she's gotten it for a year and a half when most babies are lucky to get any for the first few weeks is a big deal.

Ugh, that's what Ava does when I try to lay down and she doesn't want me to. It's super frustrating. And nothing works to redirect her. I have to sit up. I'm hoping she moves past this stage soon.

I know I should feel good about how long I've given her milk but I have SUCH an emotional attachment to pumping. It's strange really. I guess similar to nursing in that it's the *one* thing that only I can do for Ava, you know? I'm also having a tough time with how fast she's growing right now. She's making a lot of developmental leaps right now and literally changing in front of my eyes. She has stopped calling Elmo "Elgo" and now says "Elmo". She can shake her head "No" and uses it appropriately. She's just such a little girl all of a sudden!

[Baby_Cakes]

Hugs Lauri!  It's so bittersweet, it really is.  Nursing/pumping isn't the only thing you can do for her tho.  You are her mama.  Nobody else can do that or be that for her.  Nobody has your scent or your kisses, or you voice or your touch.  Your relationship with her is changing and growing. You are an amazing woman for pumping exclusively as long as you have.  Nobody can take that from you either.  So mourn weaning.  Of course.  It's such a heart wrenching thing.  Especially when you are just so committed and you've done all you have to get where you are!  Your feelings are so valid.  But also take comfort in the fact that she is satisfied and ready to move on.  You've done such an amazing thing for her.  

[lyterae]

Originally Posted by MarineWife 

lyeteraed ~ That sounds like a migraine. I've never had a migraine and I've never had a headache like that.

DH has already been reassigned. He got unofficial official verbal orders a few weeks ago. His web orders hit the other day but he couldn't view them. He thinks he'll have to go in June or July.

  I think you may be right, I haven't had migraines since I was a child. It's almost 11:00 and there is still a lingering headache. Praying tomorrow is better!

 I hadn't realized he still got reassigned, I assumed you guys were settled in permanently someplace. It sounds like you'll be trying to rent the house out so you can move together?

Originally Posted by AnnieA 

My milk is almost gone. I'm really sad. I had really hoped to make it to Ava's second birthday. But she's only really drinking it during the night. If she's awake, she'll play around with the bottle and not really drink it. She's drinking more cow's milk than she is breastmilk. I guess I need to be happy that we've made it this far but I'm still sad.

Lyterae, Ben is so big! He looks like a preschooler, not a toddler!

 Annie I'm so sorry you're losing your milk, I love everything that Carrie said. 

[AnnieA]

Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes 

But also take comfort in the fact that she is satisfied and ready to move on.

Thanks. That's a great way to look at it. For the past 18 months, I've lived with this fear that my milk would go away before Ava was ready to give it up and she would be crying for mama milk and I wouldn't have any to give her. But you're right. She's moving on. And I've been able to give her as much mama milk as she wants. She still drinks it ok during the middle of the night so maybe I just need to save whatever I'm able to pump during the day and dreamfeed her bottles of breastmilk at night to get it in her.

akind1, how are you doing? You've been quiet around here the last couple of days.

[akind1]

My system shut down in the middle of a long post! I hate that! Grrr.

Lauri - you've done awesome with Ava - I totally understand the bittersweetness of ending the nursing relationship, especially when it's baby led. I more weaned Gabe than he decided to wean, and since it was my decision, I didn't regret or miss it at all. Norah weaned of her own accord nearly 4 months ago and I miss it every day. My only consolation is the new nursling I'll have in just a few weeks. She still wants to nuzzle my nipples though, silly girl.

There will always be things only mama can do for Ava - you might feel otherwise (surely someone else can read that book or something) but Ava will feel differently.

MW: yay for refi nearly being done! NavyFed was awesome when we wanted to refinance our car, but I don't know anyone who ends up using them for mortgage refinancing. (we did our original mortgage through them though). Sad. And yay for saving money! If you decide to rent out your house, will the whole family go with Sean to the next duty station? I have a fear of renting out property. I don't like the idea of being a landlord at all. (but it works well for some)

Our babies are getting so big! I love how much Norah is communicating, and how clearly, and she's following directions pretty well. When she wants to.

She's been puking off and on the last few weeks. Generally it's been after she's had too much sweets late at night, but I wonder if something else she's eating is disagreeing with her. She feels better once she's puked and cleaned out her system from the other end. I just don't know. It doesn't seem to be a tummy bug, because no one else has been sick (in our house, or that she's been exposed to).

Gabe is pretty much day time potty trained . . we are working on adding back underwear as opposed to staying naked all the time. I can't tell you how much I love doing diapers for 1+Gabe's nighttime diaper. So much less laundry!  I'm enjoying the respite before going back to 2 in diapers. Though we might start potty-ing Norah to see what happens.

I've been following along on mobile, but have been off the last few days -cleaning and stuff- a last big push before it's newborn baby time. 4 more weeks! (more or less).

[MarineWife]

Wow, Carrie! I love what you posted. That is so perfect!

lyterae ~ I don't think we will be able to settle in one place until dh retires. He gets reassigned every 2-3 years. We were just lucky that he was able to be reassigned to another unit here so we were able to stay here longer. Technically, he was reassigned to Ft. Sill Oklahoma when he went there 3 years ago and we stayed here. Then was reassigned back here. He thinks he's going to do a year of school at Quantico and then 2-3 more years doing whatever job they have for him there.

Kat ~ Sounds like nesting has kicked in. I don't think that ever hit me. I hope Norah is feeling better soon. We've dodged the stomach bug so far. (Now I've probably jinxed us.)

Our original mortgage is with Navy Fed. Can I just say that they suck?! They screwed us out of a VA loan originally so we weren't eligible for the easy VA refi and then refused to help us with a regular refi. They only offered us a deal after the government stepped in and required it from all lenders. I just got a letter in the mail from them today wrt us not following through with the refi with them because they were going to required $1900 at closing. It says our refi was denied for "insufficient funds". What a load of crap! I told them I didn't want to do business with them because they kept changing the rules and we found a better deal. It wasn't because we didn't have the money. We could have gotten the money if we really needed it. Now I bet that's going to go on our credit report. I can't wait to be done with them and I plan to be very vocal about my dissatisfaction with them to anyone who might listen.

I took K to the doctor today for a speech therapy referral. He was mad so said he wasn't going to cooperate. The doctor asked him to say, "good," and he just crossed him arms and gave the doc the evil eye. As I was telling the doc that he said he wasn't going to cooperate, he went on a long rant about why he didn't want to be there or do anything. That was enough for the doc to hear what I was talking about and give us the referral.

K is mad about it so I don't know if it will do us any good but I'll try. If he really doesn't like it, I won't force him to go.

[AnnieA]

Originally Posted by MarineWife 

I took K to the doctor today for a speech therapy referral. He was mad so said he wasn't going to cooperate. The doctor asked him to say, "good," and he just crossed him arms and gave the doc the evil eye. As I was telling the doc that he said he wasn't going to cooperate, he went on a long rant about why he didn't want to be there or do anything. That was enough for the doc to hear what I was talking about and give us the referral.

K is mad about it so I don't know if it will do us any good but I'll try. If he really doesn't like it, I won't force him to go.

What is he mad about?

[MarineWife]

I'm not sure. He might be mad because I made him stop playing his game and go somewhere or he may be mad about the idea of needing therapy for something. He just keeps saying he didn't want to go to the doctor and didn't like it. All the doctor did was talk to him and look in his ears and throat.

[Baby_Cakes]

I had to chuckle at K's rant to the dr!  Glad you got the referral. Sorry he is mad tho -- hopefully he enjoys speech therapy.  And like you said, if not, then not.  No big deal.

I'm still fighting this pinkeye and congestion/sore throat/cough.  I'm so over it.  now it's been 9 days!!!  Well, pinkeye for 3.  But still.  We are supposed to go to a christening on Sunday and I hope we are well enough.  It's for my best friend's son so...we need to be there.  Sigh.

Supposed to get snow here this weekend!  We barely have gotten anything so far this winter so I'm kind of hoping for a ton!  

kat - yay for nesting! 

lauri - glad my words helped. 

AFM - lately Nora's been having huge tantrums when we are out shopping, demanding I buy her things (impulse items she NEEDS right then and there).  Twice now she's completely thrown down in the store.  I'm completely out of practice dealing with this, b/c she hasn't done this since she was like... a new 3!!  We have pretty much always had a general rule that she can choose something and I'll get it if it's $1.  She respects this and always understood.  She can read prices so I'm not being unfair.  We always go to walgreens (it's walking distance, so we spend lots of time there) and she knows nothing over $1.  It's just...lately she's really being stubborn!  She picked up a juice bottle that had a princess on it, that was $3, and DEMANDED it.  I did the normal, no it's $3, please put that back.  Stubborn.  Nora, it's too much, mommy is not buying it for you.  How about you find something else for $1?  NO.  I WANT THIS.  Screaming at the top of her lungs!!!

Finally I said if she didn't put it back, we are leaving the store.  This is not how we behave at the store.  She freaked and started yelling and stomping her feet, tears welling up, and didn't put it back so I explained I was taking it.  I took it from her and set it down on the shelf and she threw down.  Screaming, crying, kicking, punching!  I was horrified!  I picked her up and calmly told her she's going in the cart, we're leaving.  More screaming crying kicking clawing tantrum.  Mamas I about abandoned the cart and just left!!!  But, somehow I was able to distract her enough by calmly telling her we were leaving, pushed the cart and we made it thru check out and she was ok (mad but ok, not screaming) and WHEW.  Got out of there.

WTF?!

Is this my life for the next 6 months, and then Finn will start!?  I'm going to need stock in wine!!!

I think the key for me is staying calm.  I need to just ignore the rest of the world and focus on her and what she needs at that moment.  The problem is I don't know what it is.  She can't possibly really NEED that $3 juice.  She can't possibly NEED that $14 doll.  On a whim!?  These aren't things she's been wanting for weeks or even days.  She sees it and suddenly NEEDS it.  This isn't how we roll, and she used to understand this.  Testing boundaries?  Does she think if I buy it, it means I love her? How did we get to that???  I've never bribed her or bought her love, ever.

4 was so nice.  So easy.  She cooperated.  She was so fun.  I'm not liking these shifts in behavior!!  

I think we'll just have to really limit going shopping for a while.  Only go when we need to.  Which is going to suck b/c most of our playdates are at Target...sigh.

Also Finn is TERRIFIED of baths and water again.  A few weeks ago, maybe 2 months ago, he fell into the tub when it was still full of water after baths.  He had his clothes on and everything.  He cried but he was ok, so we thought.  It was only about 3" of water, so he didn't even go under.  
It took me until this week to make the connection, but it's got to be why he's suddenly terrified of baths again.  Literally shaking, screaming, clawing, etc.  I tried taking a bath with him this week and he seriously CLUNG to me for dear life and I couldn't even get him washed.  It's bad.

later that same day, I filled the tub for Nora's bath, and he heard the water, dropped all his toys, RAN from me throwing things in my path, and hid in the farthest corner of the house, freaking out screaming crying.  I tried explaining to him and signing that it wasn't for him, it was for Nora, no bath for you, etc.  He wouldn't have it.  He wouldn't let me near him.  

My poor baby is traumatized.  Any ideas how to help him?

[akind1]

I can't tell if it's true nesting, or just fake it till I make it sort of stuff. It needs to get done.

Norah seems recovered from the tummy bug, but it's hit Gabe really hard. Poor kid. We are supposed to do the sibling tour at the hospital tonight . . .we'll see how he's feeling.

We weren't doing any VA stuff with our mortgage (obviously) so we had no issues. But I know my parents did a VA loan, and all their refi has been VA loan type stuff . . .must be a reason they chose not to go with NFCU. following bankruptcy, we no longer have any accounts with them.  I hope all your stuff gets sorted soon.

K is funny! I hope the speech therapy goes well.

Carrie - definitely - ignore the rest of the world. who cares WTF they think? In regards to Nora . . . maybe there is a compromise that will teach her to think. Would it be reasonable to get her a wallet or purse and give her a dollar for each trip to the store, so that she could "save" up her dollars for a bigger item if she chose? Would she like that level of responsibility? at 4 1/2 she is probably ready for that, and could understand the concepts.

As for dealing with the tantrums themselves - ITA the key is staying calm. Why is she doing it? maybe she's testing boundaries. running a bit on empty energy wise? Maybe give her something to do in the store will distract her, like a shopping list? Or a pictoral "find it" sort of thing (find something red and round, something that requires batteries, etc) that might take her focus off of wanting something and make it fun for her. If you are out shopping alot, she might just be bored.

[MarineWife]

Carrie ~ Can you give Finn sponge baths until he's ready to ease himself back into the tub?

With Nora wanting things, I've read a lot about talking to the child about the reasons why they want something. Say things like, "That princess is really pretty. It would be nice to have that. What would you do with it?"..."That sounds like fun." I don't know if it works because I've never done it but it's suggested in those EnjoyParenting emails I get. I'll see if I can find the actual post on it and link it here.

By the way, I know those drink things you are talking about. They have them at the Food Lion here. The boys always want the Spiderman or Spongebob ones. They are way overpriced and junk, I think. I don't think it's even real juice, at least the ones they sell here aren't. They are like Kool-Aid or something. Another thing my boys want are the single serve chocolate milk bottles. I have to explain to them every time that we have milk and chocolate mix at home and I'm not going to spend as much on one drink as it costs to buy the ingredients to make several drinks for everyone.

[MarineWife]

Here's one but it's kind of vague. I can try to help you brainstorm some specific ways of doing this if you'd like. Say Yes First.

Here's another: Say Yes to Desire

Rethinking Consistency

Needs and Desires, Part 2

There is only Yes

There is probably a ton more but it's a long list and I don't have time to go through all of it.

You could try modeling wanting something but understanding that you can't get it right now if you don't already do that. Find something you want but can't buy and talk about how much you like it and why and how you wish you could get it but you can't right now. Then maybe talk about things you could do to get it in the future.

Why do you have the $1 limit? Is 2 more dollars really too much every once in a while? Could you make a special occasion sometimes when she can get something that's more than $1? Or maybe ask if she's willing to give up the next two $1 purchases so she can get the $3 thing now. She may not fully understand that so it might take a few times of explaining the next time you go to a store that she can't buy anything because she spent more money last time. Explain that to her before you go to the store.

Maybe it's time for an allowance. Give her the dollar to keep or spend as she wishes. If she has the money in her hand, she might see how holding it until she gets another one is more.

[Baby_Cakes]

The $1 was arbitrary and just so we didn't end up spending a ton each time we went out.  and it worked so I never really thought about it.  It allowed her a token from our shopping trip that she enjoyed, but didn't always need to buy something.

Yes that's the juice!  They are  complete junk.  I'm not opposed to a little juice here and there, but I like the veg/fruit juice blends if anything.  And I was buying a whole box of those and they were in the cart.  I even offered to open one right there for her before paying.

So what I did today with your guys advice was ask her to get her purse and come up with how many $$ she wanted to put in of her christmas money.  She chose $20.  At target she picked up a huge dog that was $20, and I told her that would be all she could get (and I wasn't sure if it would even fit in the car).  She said she only wanted to carry it around, she'd find other things.  At the dollar bins she ended up choosing some rubber ducks ($1) and a toy bathtub for them (also $1) and then on the check out line she wanted Squinkies.  She asked if she had enough for all, and I said yes.  She was too nervous to hand the money to the cashier, so I did it for her, and I showed her the change.

Then she wanted popcorn and a pretzel.

I just see this getting out of hand!  She's spending all her money on things.  What happens when she runs out?  Tantrums again?

Sigh.  Lost.  Lost mommy here.

I'll read those links asap! Thanks guys!

Re: sponge baths -- it's really just his hair that needs washing. I barely do anything but rinse his body.  but his hair is long and ends up with food and boogers and just gets greasy.  So...aside from torturing him at the sink??  which I don't see how that would work, idk what else to do.  

Or i need to cut his hair.  WAH!  Not ready not ready not ready!  I am too attached to his curls!!