February 2013 Chit Chat - Page 16 « Back to Group Discussions

[dashley111]

Originally Posted by glassesgirlnj 

Ash, that one-vaccine-at-a-time schedule is what I would follow in the ideal world. But since my spouse is the one taking A for her ped appointments, I let him choose the schedule he's most comfortable with - especially since he walks two miles uphill, carrying A, to get to the ped's office!

You are very right that we don't all fit into one box - some of my best friends don't vax their kids.

How is Bettie recovering from her hospital stay?

She is completely back to normal!  Thank you for asking. 

[birdhappy85]

I just got home from watching the daycare kids for 4 hours this morning. The DCP had scheduled a sub to come while she went on a field trip with her older daughter, but the sub canceled, so she asked me if I was willing to watch the kids. I thought I'd give it a shot! Wowza, I give childcare providers SO much credit! (As well as mothers of several children!) There were 5 kids including Sora, ages 4, 3, 2, 1, and 6-mos. It went really well actually.  I was proud of myself. It's interesting to me how much easier it is to take care of several children at once and not just one like I'm usually overwhelmed with.

I still don't want that many kids nor any that close in age, though.  Spacing them out for SURE.

[Jaimee]

September

LunaLady- Christina: 9/19, baby boy Rhyko

October

TTCChloeorConner- Nicole: 10/31 baby boy Conner Dean, 8lbs2oz. 20'' long. 6:14pm

Early November

Seraf- Sara: 11/1, baby boy Shay born in the car, 8lb14oz

Mal85- Mallory: 11/2, baby girl Greta

EonJourney- Nicole: 11/3, identical twin boys Ember Trail 5.7 oz and Roam Freely 5.6 oz

SoCaliMommy- Kami: 11/4 baby boy Harlan Drake,  6:48pm at 10lbs even 21 1/2"

Lali812- Eulix: 11/16 baby boy Angel.

Autumnshades- Sonja: 11/7, baby boy Elijah Matthias, 6:25am, 6 lbs 10 oz, 20 inches long

MrsKatie- Katie: 11/10, baby girl Catherine Anne was born at 1:21pm.  7lbs 10oz and 21 inches long. 

Mid November

Jill the Pill- Jill: 11/11, baby girl Audrey Catharine 6lbs 5oz 19 inches long

TalkToMeNow- Amanda: 11/12, baby boy Jasper Conley, 12:42 pm,  8 lbs 11 oz.

Paigekitten- Katie: 11/12, baby girl Eowyn Jane, 6:09 pm, 8 lbs 3.9 oz, 21 inches

KayPea- Kirsten: 11/13, baby boy Oren Edward Adams, 5:45pm, 9lbs 11oz, 21 in long, 15in head!

wellforth - Carey: 11/15, baby boy Luca Qrzwin, 9:52 p.m., at home natural waterbirth, 7lbs9oz, 22"

LiLStar- Rachel: 11/16, baby boy Evan Curtis, 11 lbs, 15" head

Becky Wheeler- Becky: 11/19, baby boy Levi Jaxon, 10:50am, UC

jhsmama11-Amber: 11/19, baby boy Jack Henry

Late November

jbk21- J: 11/24, baby boy Dylan Timothy born in the caul

dashley111- Ash:  11/24, baby girl Bettie Grey, 7:03pm, 7lbs15oz, 21"

birdhappy85- Joanie:  11/24, baby girl Sora Nina, 3:39pm, 7lb 6oz, 19-1/2 in long

ZippyGirl- Anthia:  11/24, baby boy Bode McGuire born at 6:14 a.m.

glassesgirlnj - Kathy: 11/28, baby girl Annamaria Sigyn Estelle, 7lbs even, 19.75 in, 8:09pm

KaliShanti- Kali: 11/29, baby boy Enoch Noble Grandison , 8 lbs 7 oz. 21.25 in, 11:45pm

Zoopath: 11/30 baby girl Teagan 5lbs 9oz, 19 inches long

December

abraisme- Abra: 12/1, baby girl Coralie Katherine, 8lbs1oz, 19.75", 2pm

Jaimee: 12/3, baby boy Avery River, 6lbs14oz, 21", 4:21pm

[Autumnshades]

Vaxing is such a personal decision that is why I just don't discuss it with anyone. It inevitably leads to heated arguments with our family/friends.

We are thinking of moving too... Victoria is just so incredibly expensive. A 1 bedroom apartment almost runs $900 in most places... We got lucky because our place had someone in it for 15 years. So the rent wasn't too high, but it has gone up $50 in 2 years. So we pay $800 but if we are thinking of adding a second baby our living options are very limited since 2 bedroom apartments' rent is sky high... Not affordable for a single income family. I love living here though . It is a beautiful city and so easy to get around. I can walk everywhere within a 5 km radius... Which is wonderful... But we will have to consider moving soon... Which is sad.

[SoCaliMommy]

Jumping in on the convo about the CP. I was exposed a bunch as a child and never got it and then stupidly agreed to part of the shot just so they would let me leave the hospital after having Ryker.  I'd personally rather my kids get the chicken pox. That said Alex was sorta vaxed on schedule and got the CP vax. Ryker hasn't been vaxed since age 4months and he'll be 7 in May. Harlan hasn't had any vaxes at all.

[Becky Wheeler]

I haven't been on here for a while. Haven't been on the computer. I got a cell phone, so I've been mobile for almost a month. How is everyone doing?

[glassesgirlnj]

Joanie, it sounds like you did a great job at the daycare! Is that something you'd like to do on a regular basis?

Sonja, the rents you're quoting sound similar to Northern NJ - $900 for a 1 bedroom. If we move at some point, it would probably be to a 1BR with a den/dining room/office - A would have the bedroom and we'd sleep in the smaller room! (Legally in NJ, she has to have a bedroom with a closet, a window and a door that closes by age 2.)

Becky, welcome back! Any new photos of Levi?... I'm not on Facebook, so I wouldn't know if you'd posted them there.

[Autumnshades]

Rent is crazy here, looking for a 2 bedroom made us realize we will have to think about moving... Victoria is crazy expensive... I just hate uprooting though! But I am also desperate for a place with an in suite washer/dryer... This isn't working for us. Also in victoria we will NEVER be able to own a house, most single family homes cost $600 000 upwards! We are thinking of checking out nanaimo, which is a smaller town 1 hour from here. You can get a 2 bedroom with in suite laundry and a dishwasher for $800-$900 a month.

Eli is growing like a weed, can't keep up. Luckily my mil loves shopping and spoiling her grand kids! She was going to buy Eli this huge toy (which totally would NOT have worked in our small apartment) so I suggested to my dh that he should ask her instead to buy clothes. Which she did carters has some cute overalls that just came in! The clothes just arrived here yesterday, so I can put them away for summer since they are still a little big.

[birdhappy85]

Originally Posted by glassesgirlnj 

Joanie, it sounds like you did a great job at the daycare! Is that something you'd like to do on a regular basis?

I am considering being a sub for the DCP on a regular as-needed basis. It felt good to be able to help her out, and her older daughter was so thankful that her mommy got to go on a field trip with her since they never get to do those things together.  I know Sora enjoyed the time with me and her friends, too. And the extra money is nice! I just don't think I could handle the days when there are two babies and not just one. The older kids were a piece of cake, minus the issues with sharing and occasional temper flares between kids. I have so much to learn about managing those situations.

[seraf]

Kathy, they have laws about closets?? Do they have a law that she has to sleep in that room? Where does one learn about these laws? We were talking about taking the closet out of the big kids' room since they use dressers instead and would appreciate the floor space.

Sonja, yay for new clothes. Boo for high rent.

[dashley111]

Yes, there are laws about closets! If a room does not have a closet it cannot be classified as a bedroom and has to be called something else- "bonuse room" or "den". Check your states building code. We technically live in a 3 bedroom house, but we have a den and a bonus room. We utilize it at 5 bedrooms easily because the only thing they lack is a closet.

[seraf]

I know when selling a house that's the case, but the law saying a kid can't sleep in a room without a closet?

[glassesgirlnj]

Kathy, they have laws about closets?? Do they have a law that she has to sleep in that room? Where does one learn about these laws? We were talking about taking the closet out of the big kids' room since they use dressers instead and would appreciate the floor space.

I think I'm becoming confused again :) - "bedroom must have a closet" is actually the law for home sellers and real estate agents, to prevent them counting any random room as a "bedroom" (as in this thread here - see several responses by NJ realtors: http://www.trulia.com/voices/Home_Buying/A_bedroom_must_have_a_closet_right_otherwise-278251).

"Bedroom must have a closable door and a window" definitely comes from NJ DCFS (their website is http://www.nj.gov/dcf/ ). They don't mention anything about closets, but if other parts of NJ law define a bedroom as having a closet, I can see an enthusiastic DCFS worker interpreting it that way, too.

As long as you have the space set up for the child(ren), I don't see how DCFS could force you to use it - but they could interview the child(ren), who might say something like "I sleep in Mommy's bed every night" or whatever.

[dashley111]

I

Originally Posted by seraf 

I know when selling a house that's the case, but the law saying a kid can't sleep in a room without a closet?

I cross posted and missed something. Why would DCS care if you don have a closet? It's legal in most states to be homeless with children so long as you provide them shelter at night, with heat and running water. I thought we were taking about what qualified as a bedroom in another sense...

I highly doubt DCS would drop by to invetigate whether you have adequate closets and windows for your child unless you already have an open case with DCS. I lived in a foster family. I did foster care for a few years. Never heard of such a thing, or any laws to that effect for that matter.

[dashley111]

Let me amend that to say- yes those are rules fostering families and families trying to get their children back have to comply to.

[glassesgirlnj]

Joanie, how nice that you get to spend time with Sora and get paid for it too! I can understand you being cautious about multiple babies and squabbling older kids - I've been thinking about volunteering in the nursery room for my church, but have similar concerns.

Ash, you might have missed my earlier post which was mostly me being a paranoid Cancer. ;) ...To sum up, our family is very different from most of the families in our town, so I like to have all my i's dotted and t's crossed, regarding what DCFS looks for, in case of any misunderstandings. Hope that made things a little clearer!!

You mentioned doing foster care - did you have a home inspection when you got your foster license? The NJ home inspection guidelines specifically mention "two methods of exit from the (foster child's) room" - one of which, I'd think, would be a window, most of the time.

[seraf]

I think the rules for fostering are way different than for your own kids. They're like that of a day care in a lot of ways. Here knives have to be under lock and key to foster but not just to have kids and foster kids' bedrooms have to be sex segregated after age 5 but your legal kids can share a room at any age. I don't really worry about being different than our neighbors here, but I can also see someone getting weird about a 5 year old sleeping in the living room, for instance.

[birdhappy85]

What a mess... Our DCP's sister and brother-in-law died yesterday pretty tragically, so she's closing for bereavement. I feel so bad. I tried consoling her as much as I could. She still opened daycare today but later texted me that she's not doing okay and has to take some time away. I totally understand. I have to look for other childcare on the fly now. My boss is probably at her wit's end with me.  I shouldn't care so much but I'm *always* paranoid that I'm going to get a talking-to for calling out or asking to work from home. No idea how I'm going to find someone else to watch Sora on such short notice...

DH and I are both going to the doctor tomorrow. I guess we made the wrong choice by letting our "colds" go on too long without treatment. Pretty sure we both have infections like Sora. I feel like passing out and almost threw up at work today. And worse, I got water in my ear through my sinuses with a sinus rinse... My ear hurts so badly I could scream. I'm so mad that I wasn't gentler! Grrr.

[dashley111]

Originally Posted by glassesgirlnj 

Ash, you might have missed my earlier post which was mostly me being a paranoid Cancer. ;) ...To sum up, our family is very different from most of the families in our town, so I like to have all my i's dotted and t's crossed, regarding what DCFS looks for, in case of any misunderstandings. Hope that made things a little clearer!!

You mentioned doing foster care - did you have a home inspection when you got your foster license? The NJ home inspection guidelines specifically mention "two methods of exit from the (foster child's) room" - one of which, I'd think, would be a window, most of the time.

I went back and found it.  Conversation makes a whole lot more sense now! 

Yes I had a home inspection.  They are pretty extensive, and they have a lot of rules that apply to foster parents and people actively involved in DCS cases (trying to get their children back, usually) that do NOT apply to normal parents.  There does have to be 2 exits-  a door and at least one window of appropriate size that opens.  Knives, medications, cleaning products all have to be under lock and key regardless of the age of your children.  Also there can be no room sharing of mixed genders over the age of 2 or 3 (I cant remember which). 

BUT, these rules do not apply to common parents- and they aren't even grounds for getting your children taken away if DCS is called to investigate you.  They cant remove your children because they don't have a closet or regulation size window.  In fact, they don't even have to legally have their own room, just a space that provides adequate privacy for dressing and personal care at a certain age.  As long as they have a safe environment, a private place to dress, adequate clothing and food, and access to hot water (and in some cases electricity) they cannot do a thing.  Your legal children can have mixed sex bedrooms and its not violating any laws at any age. 

I have to say, in my years of exposure to DCS from various angles, I never saw or encountered parents being investigated for no reason or workers making up outrageous claims to get children removed.  I know not everybody can believe that.  In my experience children are left with and returned to families too loosely and even when they shouldn't be.  So, quite the opposite.  Most social workers wouldn't bat an eye at claims of attachment parenting or different lifestyles-  the things these people see are horrible and outrageous and mind boggling.  Even being the town weirdos usually wouldn't raise a red flag for them. 

[dashley111]

Oh no Joanie!!!  That is so terrible :(