I have also been wondering about this. I have a large immediate family and most in the same city. My baby will be grandchild 20. I am fine with my immediate family, their husbands and my bro's wife, and all my nieces and nephews. I also really like DH sisters and kids, but not their husbands, lol.
My MIL is another story. I don't like her and I don't want her around my baby. Her boyfriend is not allowed in our house. They are both on SS for the past 15+ years, chain smoke in their house all day, and have two wolf dogs that are untrained, so we will not be visiting them. My DH doesn't speak with her often, but when he does, it makes him very upset and brings up all these issues that he works on letting go. I know all he wants is his mom to love him and care about him and he wants her to be a part of his life, but she is so toxic.
Does anyone have any similar experiences or suggestions? It makes me mad to think about her and really sad for my DH.