DS is now 17 months old. I only breastfed him for 3 months :( Heres link if anyone is interested in why:
Ok well on to my question. I have a 4 year old son with High functioning Autism (aspergers). He is a challenge at times. He and DS2 pretty much keep themselves entertained, with me as "referee". But I find myself really missing alot of "mommy-son" time with DS2. I feel like I never got the breastfeeding/cosleeping bond that I had with my first. Seems like DS2 really has the closest relationship with his big brother. A little jealous...
I spend alot of energy directing, rerouting, talking to my older DS since he has some issues that come from his having special needs. At times I feel like I don't have the energy that DS2 needs, I want to be that person to him, but Im so tired. I pretend to smile and want to play with his toys and read him books, pretend to laugh, because I love to see him smile :)
He's also a very passionate boy. He is super persistent and also gets angry when he cant get what he wants, or very frustrated at times. I always wonder if that is a personality trait, or if its because he hasnt had the bond he needs with me.
I had a beautiful home birth with him, nursed him as long as I could and carried him in the wrap, but I still dont feel the same type of connection I had with my first. Is this normal for a second child? I could really use tips or suggestions.