Who takes care of the birth control when you are done having babies?

[AdinaL]

I admit, I'm feeling a little like it's DH's turn, now that we're done.  I'm wondering how other folks deal with it. Is it your job? Or his?

[Adaline'sMama]

When we're done, like totally done, it's his job. You know, because it's been my responsibility for a long time. My argument was that if I can have his children live inside my body for 9 months and give birth, then he can surely undergo a simple procedure.

[Peony]

For us, it was his responsibility. I had four babies, one of them was a complete surprise. Neither wanted of us wanted yet another one! It was his turn for once. The feeling of freedom and no worries is amazing!!!

[Jennyanydots]

I voted "other" because I'm still not sure. I thought vasectomy was the obvious choice until I recently read that it has been associated with long term health issues in some men. Need to do more research now. We're pregnant with our last now, so I'd better get this figured out!

[Mama Amie]

Originally Posted by Jennyanydots 

I voted "other" because I'm still not sure. I thought vasectomy was the obvious choice until I recently read that it has been associated with long term health issues in some men. Need to do more research now. We're pregnant with our last now, so I'd better get this figured out!

Do you have any links or references about this?  I've been hoping DH will do vasectomy, but we'll reconsider if the risks are strong.  Thanks!

[Jennyanydots]

Originally Posted by Mama Amie 

Do you have any links or references about this?  I've been hoping DH will do vasectomy, but we'll reconsider if the risks are strong.  Thanks!

I don't, but I really need to start seriously researching. I was reading threads on here one day and came across someone talking about a vasectomy-Alzheimer's connection, so I started googling and found some info about sperm build up post vasectomy causing anti sperm antibodies and other issues. I'm not clear on how dangerous this is, if at all, but it's been on my list of things to read up on.

If anyone has good sources I'd love to see them.

[phathui5]

Originally Posted by Mama Amie 

Do you have any links or references about this?  I've been hoping DH will do vasectomy, but we'll reconsider if the risks are strong.  Thanks!

I know someone locally whose husband developed an autoimmune disorder after the vasectomy. It seems his body is reacting to the sperm that are being released into his bloodstream.

[Kaydove]

We were all set on a vasectomy but started reading and researching the risks and autoimmune issues, so we got freaked out. Pretty much decided against it, now I have no idea what we'll do.

[organicviolin]

We're going to try paraguard. Vasectomy and anything permanent freak me out

[~Adorkable~]

yeah at first i felt like i was going to get my tubes tied, cause if i really changed my mind we could still use his sperm

then we figured we were really done and that he was going to get a vasectomy, then i read about hte autoimmune issues and seeing as that he has had various very bad environmental allergies, i didnt want to stress his body out like that

then was back at my tubes and looking at the essure inserts to not mess with blood supply, but the class they made me take was good, it had me rethinking it, cause they posed the following question: (it was very hard to hear)

if your whole family or your kids were killed tomorrow, can you really say you would never want another biological child?

it made me rethink the permanent thing, i know i could do something drastic like ivf if it cam to that, but yikes

so im back to paragaurd, since hormones for me are not ok.

while i would consider seeing if i could dal with the hormones of a mirena iud but from what was explained to to me

paragarud= possible heavier bleeding and maybe cramps, but normal timing on cycles and not usually spotting

mirena= lighter and lighter periods and cramps, but totally unpredictable cycles and LOTS of spotting

i would way rather take predictable 

i have a appointment to get it put in in 10 days, but i wish i could say i'm at peace with our choice, i'm still wigged out about having something foreign stuck in my uterus 

[katelove]

I voted other. We intended that DH would have a vasectomy because of the two options (vasectomy or tubal ligation) it is the least invasive surgery. However, as it turned out, I had a repeat c/s instead of a VBAC so I had a tubal ligation done at the same time.

The potential post-vasectomy issues did concern me as well so I'm glad it worked out this way (and so far I don't have any signs of post-tubal ligation syndrome) but the first few weeks were emotionally difficult for me. I found it hard to deal with the reality of no more children + repeat c/s when I'd really hoped for a VBAC + postnatal hormones.

Three months on I'm glad I did it but there is that little voice in the back of my mind saying "we could always try IVF if we had too". I really *dont* want another child, I've just always struggled with truly permanent decisions. I like knowing there are options, even if I never actually want to take them.

[crayfishgirl]

Originally Posted by ~Adorkable~ 

then was back at my tubes and looking at the essure inserts to not mess with blood supply, but the class they made me take was good, it had me rethinking it, cause they posed the following question: (it was very hard to hear)

if your whole family or your kids were killed tomorrow, can you really say you would never want another biological child?

it made me rethink the permanent thing, i know i could do something drastic like ivf if it cam to that, but yikes

My mom had surgery when I was 12 and she shared a room with a woman who was having her tubal ligation reversed because her three children and sister were killed in a house fire, and she and her husband wanted to try and have more children.  So tragic!  It made an impression on me because anything permanent for me or DH is out of the question.

[OhSamantha]

I opted to go with a Mirena, both on the very slim chance we'd want another baby and because I love not having a period.

[alaskanmomma]

I'll be getting Essure after this baby. Dh isn't against getting a vasectomy, but I want to make sure I won't get pregnant again. I have to go through the pregnancy, delivery, and much of the child raising, so to me it's important I prevent pregnancy as much as I can

[JoyFilled]

I voted me.

DH is Catholic and religiously against permanent birth control.  I on the other hand am not against it.  :)

I've had 2 c-sections and will probably continue to need them.  I could handle 10 kids but I am only willing to have 4 c-sections at which point I am getting my tubes tied.

[AdinaL]

You have all brought up some good things to think about. DH doesn't have any time off until fall, so we're just relying on temporary means now. But I'm rethinking the vasectomy idea. Not sure how I feel about permanent decisions.

[Jacksonmom]

Adorkable,

what do you think of the paraguard so far?

Lori

[~Adorkable~]

well i got in put in on the 21st, so only about 17 days ago, and my first cycle turned out to be 9 days , 6 or 7 of which was pretty darn heavy for me.  I expected taht and was happily surprised that i have basically no cramping to go along with the bleeding and only a tiny amount the first 3 days after it got put in, nothing that was more than distracting.

since i have has very light period for the last 5 years or so, it will take some getting used to possible longer heavier ones, but it is very similar to what i had in my 20's so i know the drill and I'm ok with it, it was spotting and irregular cycles that sounded horrid and that is a big reason i choose the paragaurd over the mirrena. my DH upon hearing that i was still bleeding on CD day 9 laughed and said "well sure is one way to be birth control!" we got a good chuckle.

i will say that the calm that has settled over our bedroom habits is wonderful and I'm finally feeling the internal calm starting to work on my misplaced yearning for another pregnancy. That last pat was a really big hope on my part and i still have a long way to go, but they always say it is easier to think you make the right choice once there is little to no going back than when it is looming in front of you, and i hope that is ture in my case. 

I'm very happy with it right now, and glad no one had something done to them that could mess with the larger workings on our bodies.

[delightedbutterfly]

I voted other... I personally will never fully be "done". If something were to happen to my DH or my children *I* would want the option of having more. 

My DH however will probably be done after a third and DONE after a fourth. It would be his option to choose a Vas if he wanted one or not. 

I will probably try the Mirena either way to try and reduce my periods. 

I would prefer that DH did not get a Vas done but if he is sure he doesn't want more kids and is ok with the risk then that is his choice. 


I believe it should be up to the person who is sure they are 100% done. I know a couple where the woman does NOT want kids ever and the husband would be willing to have them if she was. She wants him to get a Vas and I don't agree with that at all! If she's sure then she should be the one who decides for her.

[Jacksonmom]

Originally Posted by ~Adorkable~ 

well i got in put in on the 21st, so only about 17 days ago, and my first cycle turned out to be 9 days , 6 or 7 of which was pretty darn heavy for me.  I expected taht and was happily surprised that i have basically no cramping to go along with the bleeding and only a tiny amount the first 3 days after it got put in, nothing that was more than distracting.

since i have has very light period for the last 5 years or so, it will take some getting used to possible longer heavier ones, but it is very similar to what i had in my 20's so i know the drill and I'm ok with it, it was spotting and irregular cycles that sounded horrid and that is a big reason i choose the paragaurd over the mirrena. my DH upon hearing that i was still bleeding on CD day 9 laughed and said "well sure is one way to be birth control!" we got a good chuckle.

i will say that the calm that has settled over our bedroom habits is wonderful and I'm finally feeling the internal calm starting to work on my misplaced yearning for another pregnancy. That last pat was a really big hope on my part and i still have a long way to go, but they always say it is easier to think you make the right choice once there is little to no going back than when it is looming in front of you, and i hope that is ture in my case. 

I'm very happy with it right now, and glad no one had something done to them that could mess with the larger workings on our bodies.

Thank you for replying!  We were considering the esure, but just can't commit to a permanent decision right now.  Thanks again!  <3