Right now I am feeling like a huge fat FAILURE! I feel that I am failing as a mother. I feel I am failing as a wife. And most of all I feel like I am failing to live a every day normal life like a lot of mother's out there. I also feel I am going to fail myself, I feel if even seeking treatment and getting help I am going to damage my children's little brain's. I feel like all they see me do it yell 24/7 and get angry 24/7 over EVERYTHING. I also feel like self harming here lately. I have not cut in 4yrs now but lately its just all getting to over whelming for me.
Sorry for rambling on and on but I needed to vent and I can't do this anywhere else because my husband fear's if I "like" or "post a comment" on a postpartum page on Facebook that it will cause issues between myself and his parents. So this is the only place I have to go for now :(