Such an interesting thread! Can I just say though that the comment "I see no issue with holding kids accountable and helping them (with out forcing them) to reach a goal that they have asked for help with. I do the exact same for my husband all the time!" has really clarified something for me. Now I do this. I scaffold for my kids all the time, I do the thing of making sure that they have what they need to do the thing they've said they want to do and asking if I can get them anything and so on. But I'm also studying, myself, a fairly difficult (for me!) degree which takes up pretty much nearly all of my kid-free time. Now if my partner were to start asking if he could help, if he could get me a drink and so on, before I'd sat down and got started, it would truly drive me up the wall, because, rightly or wrongly I'd interpret this as him trying to coerce me into studying. Which would be incredibly unfair on him because he'd literally be just wanting to make me a cup of tea and truly not caring in the slightest whether I was going to study or not, I think its just that learning, for some people, is an incredibly personal and quite private thing. (obviously not for everyone though, if it works for you then absolutely great)
Now that you mention it, that is EXACTLY how I would feel towards DH (however irrationally)! Pressured, pushed, and kicked out of the driver's seat. Motivation drained. Granted, I think children need more help than adults, but it's definitely something to keep in mind with each child's personality and learning style. Thanks!
Eventually their desire to meet their goals will be higher than their desire to do something else - which is when learning appropriate time and organisational management will kick in. Trying to do so before the kid is ready will result in some power struggles...
I tend to talk out loud about my own time/organisational management issues as a way to role model project attack skills. With my older children (particularly my eldest) we will have brainstorming session - paper included, and make lists of what needs to be done to move from A-B. I prefer to help them figure out all the steps they need to do to complete a project instead of creating the steps for them.
This is what I believe in. I think they may need some help brainstorming the "how" of time management (depending on age) and then need reminders/support, but I don't see why the organization shouldn't be just as child-led and child-entrusted as the choice of the pursuit. To me, that's simply congruous with unschooling philosophy. Here, they are learning time management - I'm not going to be any more aggressively involved than I would be in facilitating any other kind of learning.