Would it be crazy of me... « Back to Group Discussions

[SamiPolizzi]

to try to plan a birthday party for when I'm 41 weeks pregnant? If it were a year ago, I would have felt okay skipping it, but my DS will be turning 4 and he's been super into birthdays. He's already been talking about his birthday for the last 2 months. And especially since his life is about to change so much with a new baby in the family, I really want to make this birthday special. I know it probably sounds like a really crazy idea, but I think it might be doable. I'm pretty sure my sister would be willing to have it at her house. We don't even know very many people here, so it wouldn't be a big thing. And we could just call everyone and cancel if I end up being in labor. I should also mention that DS was born at 42 weeks, and I'm expecting this baby to do the same. Obviously, I could be totally wrong though.

[ClumsySugarPlum]

Sami - this also was my dilemma! DS's birthday (also turning 4!) is 3/18, and this baby is due 3/13. I was also 4 days late with ds, so their birthdays could be the same or really close. When to have the party? We decided to have it pretty early so it corresponds with a baby shower a friend is throwing for me on 3/2. The shower will be from 11-1 at my friend's house, and the party is from 12-2 at an inside playplace/ cafe. This way moms can enjoy the shower without having to watch the kids, and there is still time for me to show up at the end of the party to say hi to everyone and watch ds open presents, etc. The only hitch with this is that hopefully all the dads will be available to bring their kids to the party. DS is calling it "Dad's Day Out" because dh has a monthly group with the word "Dad's" in it. I'm also only inviting women to the shower whose kids are friends with ds/ kids to the party whose moms I'm friends with. This is seven families total. I think we will still plan to do a special family birthday celebration, but we will just play that by ear in case we're in the hospital or just got home, etc. 

Hope that helps and that you can do something fun!

[Chapsie]

My DS turned three a few days after I came home from the hospital after a complicated miscarriage and obstetric hemorrhage (I almost died).  I was so weak, I could barely get off the couch, much less do anything to make his day special.   I just threw a status out there on facebook asking my friends to send him birthday cards in the mail.  I didn't think much of it, but thought it would be fun for him to find a couple of birthday cards in the mailbox for his birthday.

Well... my friends REALLY came through!  Over the course of the next week, my son got over 40 colorful birthday cards in the mail!   Some had gift cards to toys r us, dairy queen, etc... some had stickers and activity pages... some people sent actual presents.  Someone even dropped off balloons and a cake for him!!  It was awesome.  He was SO happy and felt so loved, and it made me feel very loved as well.  :)

I would definitely recommend doing something like this.  Your friends will be sympathetic to your situation (41 weeks pregnant!) and I bet you'd get some nice birthday cards in the mail for your birthday boy!  The look on my son's face every day that he opened the mailbox to colorful envelopes addressed to him is something I can never forget!  

[scruffy too]

I say no, not crazy.  Especially if you plan for it at your sister's house.

My DP is trying to get me to agree to him having a UFC party on the 15th (or 16th) and I'm "due" the 17th.  He added, "depending how you're feeling that week."  Oh.  Thanks - LOL!!  This seems to be the one thing that's not pissing me off and I think it's hilarious!  I said to go for it, but they have to leave if I go into labor!

Anyway, I think you should be able to pull it off.  All the mess will be at someone else's house and whether you have the baby or not, you probably won't be expected to do too much (considering that you'll either be 9 months prego or have just had a baby...)

[Melany]

I am having the same dilemma. My oldest will turn 9 on 2/26, so I have no way of getting out of that since he knows what birthday parties involve. :) We're going to try to have his "friend" party early and I'm hoping beyond hope that family will do something the day of, but I know they won't. My husband is pushing for something on 2/24 and I'm pushing for something on 2/17. 

What scares me is my son was actually supposed to be a March baby, March 5th to be exact and he came early. My husband is worried I won't get the invites out early enough and wants to push it out.

[spughy]

Originally Posted by Melany 

What scares me is my son was actually supposed to be a March baby, March 5th to be exact and he came early. My husband is worried I won't get the invites out early enough and wants to push it out.

Initially I was just skimming and interpreted that last bit as your husband wanting to push the baby out.  And I giggled.

I am having a less-critical dilemma - DD's class is going on a field trip March 5.  My due date is March 20.  Is it ethical to offer to drive?  The chances of me going into labour that early are small - nobody in my family has EVER given birth before her due date.  Not my mom (3 kids), not my sister (2 kids), not me last time.  However, that's hardly super-awesome airtight scientific reasoning and there IS at least a chance that I could give birth then.  But is it really more likely than some other emergency befalling a non-pregnant mom?  We have a great car now that CAN take 3 extra kids and I reeeeally want to go on the field trip (which I can actually do anyway, since I have a pass to the place they're going).  But I feel weird about offering to drive.  I don't think I should.

[withlittlelungs]

Sami- I don't think you are crazy and I think it is a great idea to have it at your sister's house. Are you planning on having it on his actual birthday? I'm just worried that he will be really disappointed if you went into labor and had to cancel. 

[Melany]

Originally Posted by spughy 

Initially I was just skimming and interpreted that last bit as your husband wanting to push the baby out.  And I giggled.

oops! That would be a funny comment from the husband, wouldn't it. 

[LightForest]

My biggest reservations/thoughts about throwing a party like that so near my due date would be...

If I went into labor and therefore couldn't attend the party, my kiddo may be *especially* sad. Especially if your son is really hyped up about the party. If that happened I'd fear some lingering resentment toward the new sibling...

If I had a brand new baby, I'd not really be comfortable taking it to a social gathering with lots of young kids because of germies. Especially during cold and flu season. I dunno - even if I was babywearing during the whole party I'd still not be completely OK with it... (If this were June and the party were outdoors I don't think I'd have an issue with it.)

I'd want to be sure that my sister (or other friends/family) was truly cool with not only hosting the party at her house, but also with taking care of lots of stuff that I'd normally do, like decorating, cleanup, maybe even food prep.

I might consider just including a "rain date" of sorts in the invitation, just in case.

I went to 42 weeks with my first pregnancy as well but I don't see it as a given that I'll go that late this time... I know part of it is wishful thinking. But odds are that you won't go AS LATE with a second pregnancy (first time moms just gestate longer than second time moms).

[LightForest]

Originally Posted by spughy 

Originally Posted by Melany 

What scares me is my son was actually supposed to be a March baby, March 5th to be exact and he came early. My husband is worried I won't get the invites out early enough and wants to push it out.

Initially I was just skimming and interpreted that last bit as your husband wanting to push the baby out.  And I giggled.

I am having a less-critical dilemma - DD's class is going on a field trip March 5.  My due date is March 20.  Is it ethical to offer to drive?  The chances of me going into labour that early are small - nobody in my family has EVER given birth before her due date.  Not my mom (3 kids), not my sister (2 kids), not me last time.  However, that's hardly super-awesome airtight scientific reasoning and there IS at least a chance that I could give birth then.  But is it really more likely than some other emergency befalling a non-pregnant mom?  We have a great car now that CAN take 3 extra kids and I reeeeally want to go on the field trip (which I can actually do anyway, since I have a pass to the place they're going).  But I feel weird about offering to drive.  I don't think I should.

Spughy, it sounds like you really want to go so I think you should! I mean, you ARE more likely than a non-pregnant mom to have an emergency, because you're subject to all the same life perils as them (you know, fall in the shower, get hit by a bus, get abducted by aliens, stuff like that) PLUS you're way pregnant. I don't think this is a reason to avoid a fun outing. But it probably IS a reason to arrange for a backup driver for those kids, just in case you "fall through."

[cabbitdancer]

Oh, Chapsie, that is so sweet! Your story had me snuffling, over here. You gotta love it when family and friends pull through, especially for your kids. :D

I'm throwing a tea party two weeks before my due date. Probably at my house. I am probably going to regret it, but I've made up my mind. ;) I would go for it, Sami, but be prepared with backup for just in case scenarios.

[spughy]

Oooh, aliens, hadn't thought of that.  We're probably due for some sort of abduction thingy around here by now.

I'm going to go on the field trip and tell the teachers that I'll have my high-capacity car in case anyone else gets abducted or has the flu or whatever, but that I don't feel right about being counted on for driving.

[SamiPolizzi]

Well you've all made a lot of good points. I think I should start with making sure my sister is definitely on board, and then if she is, I think I'm going to go for it. One thing I hadn't really thought of before is that my sister will also be at the birth (to be with DS) so I guess that's a lot to ask one person to do right around the same time. But there are a couple reasons I feel okay about this whole plan. First of all, my sister lives and a mile and a half away. The drive is less than five minutes. The fact that the distance between our houses is so small makes me feel like everything can be super flexible. If they need help cleaning or anything before hand, I can send DP over to help or ask a close friend who also lives really close by. If I happen to end up being in labor at the time (which for some reason, I really think is unlikely) DS can still go and just come back whenever I feel like it's time for him to be there. The other thing is that it would be a VERY small party. I had thought about inviting the other kids at his preschool and their parents (there are only 5 other kids and 2 are siblings, so 4 sets of parents) but that would definitely complicate things. Plus, I'm sure they'll do something at school to celebrate too. So, if I don't invite them it, it will be a super chill, tiny party. We moved across the country 6 months ago, so the only family we have is my sister, brother-in-law, and nephew. Then we'd also invite our two roommates (but they travel a lot for work and we never really know when they are going to be around) and our two close friends who also moved out here (both childless) and the one friend we've made since living here, plus her husband and 3 kids. So all together, it would be 8-10 adults and 5 kids. All our friends are really laid back and flexible, so it wouldn't be a big deal if we just cancelled the whole thing, or changed the date at the last minute. For food we could just get a cake and ask our friends to all bring some kind of snacky party food. We can skip decorations all together. DS doesn't care. To him, a party means other kids to play with, cake, and presents. Now that I'm typing it all out, it's seeming totally doable. :)

[SamiPolizzi]

Originally Posted by Chapsie 

My DS turned three a few days after I came home from the hospital after a complicated miscarriage and obstetric hemorrhage (I almost died).  I was so weak, I could barely get off the couch, much less do anything to make his day special.   I just threw a status out there on facebook asking my friends to send him birthday cards in the mail.  I didn't think much of it, but thought it would be fun for him to find a couple of birthday cards in the mailbox for his birthday.

Well... my friends REALLY came through!  Over the course of the next week, my son got over 40 colorful birthday cards in the mail!   Some had gift cards to toys r us, dairy queen, etc... some had stickers and activity pages... some people sent actual presents.  Someone even dropped off balloons and a cake for him!!  It was awesome.  He was SO happy and felt so loved, and it made me feel very loved as well.  :)

I would definitely recommend doing something like this.  Your friends will be sympathetic to your situation (41 weeks pregnant!) and I bet you'd get some nice birthday cards in the mail for your birthday boy!  The look on my son's face every day that he opened the mailbox to colorful envelopes addressed to him is something I can never forget!  

I love this. So sweet. :)