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[jodieanneanton]

Ask Away!!!

[jodieanneanton]

I haven't seen u on in a while, I hope all is well.

How are you feeling?

Also, How is winter up in Maine this year???  :D

[scarletsmiles]

Oh my gosh! I can't believe I missed this thread! I have been checking for the last few days. So sorry about that!

I've felt pretty at peace during this whole pregnancy. It's my first and I've been lucky to not have to many bad symptoms. I came into pregnancy with a medical condition that limited my ability to work and do day to day living. I'm not at high risk for pregnancy itself, but this condition could've been exacerbated. It was a 50-50 shot as to if I'd feel better or worse.

But.

My husband and I really wanted to start our family. We've been married almost 6 years felt ready. I was at a point where I was at peace with my condition and so was he. We decided if I get worse during pregnancy or after the baby is born we will hire a house keeper, get food delivered to us or whatever. (Not that he doesn't do those things, he's just in medical school and he'll be starting residency soon.) We'll figure it out.

So it was a huge surprise when in my second trimester my life and energy level returned to more normal levels prior to getting sick. What a gift! 

This little baby and I have gotten along great. We joke that I might need to have 10 children or be a surrogate.

PS Maine winters? *shiver I got to travel with DH for residency interviews. Some of which were in FL - oh yeah, anything to cut down on my cold experience!

[jodieanneanton]

How big of a family do you envision yourself with?

What type of doctor does your DH want to be?

How did you meet your DH?

[scarletsmiles]

How big of a family do you envision yourself with?

I'm one of 5. I LOVED being in a big family. I would love to have at least 4 kids, but we'll see how we do with one first..hehe. DH was also one of 4 so he's cool with kids.

What type of doctor does your DH want to be?

Emergency Medicine. I'm actually really excited for him to start residency in this because I can see him being fabulous at it. He's a bit of a nerd and likes to learn about lots of medical issues. So emergency medicine is kind of perfect for him. And he's extremely empathetic. Ok end DH gush. I'm kind of fond of him if you can't tell.

How did you meet your DH?

We met our 1st year in college. We had the same group of mutual friends. They kept trying to get us together because they said we'd be great. We were friends but never got past that freshman year. I later found out he ditched calculus for a whole semester so he could eat lunch with me. And he asked me out 3 times, but I was stupid and took some dumb retail job working Fri and Sat nights. WHO DOES THAT? Can anyone say social life killer. Needless to say I couldn't go because I was working, and I didn't get the hint that perhaps he kept at it because he had a crush on me and it wasn't some group date.

At the end of the year one of my girlfriends told me he developed a big crush on me! I would've made more of an effort to make something happen. I was sad for the lost opportunity so I sent him a funny email to keep in touch over the summer. Our families lived on different sides of the country and we exchanged emails and phone calls most everyday. We became best friends that summer and I kind of feel in love with him through that.

He ended up living in France for 2 years after that year and I graduated early from undergrad. Meanwhile I dated other people and I moved to a different state to start grad school. But he was always in the back of mind. When he got back from France we visited like 2 or 3 times in the course of 3 months and resumed talking on the phone most everyday. 

I wanted to be with him and him me, but he had a full ride scholarship to finish undergrad and I lived out of state in my dream grad program.

So what to do? Well he told me if I would marry him, he would transfer undergrad to my area and we could live happily ever after. I was shocked he was willing to do something so crazy. We were crazy. And super poor students. But hey, when it's the right person there are no rules. He proposed 3 months after returning from France. And we got married 5 months after that.

[Chapsie]

Originally Posted by scarletsmiles 

So what to do? Well he told me if I would marry him, he would transfer undergrad to my area and we could live happily ever after. I was shocked he was willing to do something so crazy. We were crazy. And super poor students. But hey, when it's the right person there are no rules. He proposed 3 months after returning from France. And we got married 5 months after that.

This is awesome.  :)

What did you go to grad school for?  Are you currently working?  

[chocolatechip]

What a great meeting story! And how awesome that you're feeling better while pregnant!

Will your husband do residency in Maine, or will you have to move elsewhere for it?

What kinds of things do the two of you like to do for fun together?

I don't know if your medical condition requires a hospital birth, but what do you hope for in your birth experience?

[scarletsmiles]

Originally Posted by Chapsie 

This is awesome.  :)

What did you go to grad school for?  Are you currently working?  

Sooo, I'm a dentist. I also was in a hospital based program after graduation for a year which is when I got sick. I did normal dentist stuff, but I also treated very, very sick patients with oral cancers, needing organ transplants, patients going in for heart surgeries (oral infections can colonize on new heart valves and be fatal), and other difficult illnesses where community dentist wouldn't normally treat them.

As for work right now, due to this condition I'm unable to practice. My body can become exhausted much more easily, so I have to take things more slowly. Currently I teach on a very part-time at a dental school working with 1st year students.
 

[Chapsie]

Are you going to continue teaching after you have the baby?  

That's so cool that you're a dentist!  :)

I have a dentistry-related question for you... I know someone who had really beautiful teeth, but after using crest white strips one time and drinking coffee every day, this person now has brown stains  (stripes) on their teeth.  Is this from wearing away the enamel?  This person never had a problem with stains until after using the whitestrips.  Is there anything he can do to remove the stains?  Obviously, he is very hesitant to try any whitening products again.

I also think it's super cool that your DH is in med school for emergency medicine!  Good for him!  I know a lot of residents from my job and I now how hard they work!  Good luck to both of you in this next exciting phase of life!!  

Do you know the gender of your baby?  What are you most excited about regarding motherhood?  

[scarletsmiles]

Originally Posted by chocolatechip 

What a great meeting story! And how awesome that you're feeling better while pregnant!

Will your husband do residency in Maine, or will you have to move elsewhere for it?

What kinds of things do the two of you like to do for fun together?

I don't know if your medical condition requires a hospital birth, but what do you hope for in your birth experience?

Thanks! I know pregnancy can be tough for other women, but for my friends contemplating pregnancy I try to be a positive voice that pregnancy can be lovely!

Will your husband do residency in Maine, or will you have to move elsewhere for it?

As far as residency goes, I'm almost certain we will be moving. Someplace warm too! Warm southern states topped the list. March 15th is match day were all 4th year medical students in the country find out where they are going. It's a huge ceremony where each student opens an envelope and announces where they are going to thier whole class and friends and family. Theoretically I may be in labor at that time if I go late. DH doesn't mind, and in fact thinks it'd be rather dramatic if we get to meet our child and learn where we are living on the same day.

That also means we'll be moving when our baby is 2-3 months old. What an adventure!

For fun? Travel hacking. Since I got sick and I've had more free time, I've learned everything I can about hotel and airline miles. DH has been very interested in everything I've learned, especially since for his 13+ interviews all over the US we basically only had to pay for rental cars. Hotel and airfare was covered. With a chronic illness it's easy to feel like you are powerless and need to rely completely on others. So this was my way of focusing on what I could do. I realized my mind and ingenuity where very powerful things.

And we also squeezed in 2 vacations/babymoons during this pregnancy. We recently flew to Europe business class for the taxes and fuel surcharges ~150pp. We found a cheap last minute deal on a cruise from Greece to Italy. It was mostly retired people and us! We thought it was great because on the shore excursion groups everyone (including my pregnant self) had to use the bathroom every hour or so. We all got along great!  We also did a NYC trip with the goal of seeing as many broadway musicals through lotteries or student rush. We ended up making it to 3!

When we figure out his vacation schedule come residency, we'd love to go to Paris for a week in the fall with all the frequent flyer miles we've accrued. And I've compiled a big stash of hotel points we can use there too. And of course bring our little cub along. Our goal at this point is to have fresh baguettes and cheese every morning and buy fresh french pastries everyday. Perhaps if I'm feeling great we'll go to some museums too ;)

We are currently working together to put up a website where we explain step by step how we do these vacations for cheap. Seriously that is fun for us. We are kind of closet web entreprenuers. As I read over that I realize we seem like big big nerds. Ah well.

Birth experience hopes

During the time my medical condition happened my grandmother was diagnosed with terminal cancer. She was my phone buddy during that time.  She had a PhD, was on a city council, taught special ed to special needs inner city kids for 20 years, and was a college professor. She had impressive professional credentials and was one determined, tough, woman. Despite these activities if anyone knew her, they knew her family was #1. She just oozed LOVE to all of us. She had 10 children and 36 grandchildren and was close to all of us. At her funeral, I've never laughed and cried so hard at the same event. I could call her anytime and she just loved to chat and encourage me. I got to spend a week with her prior to her death. The love she sowed during her life was everywhere! It was so sweet to see all of her kids and grandkids come and just sit and hang out with her. Massage her feet, tell stories, give her hugs. It was full of peace toward the end of her life.

I've been thinking a lot about her during this pregnancy - this would've been her 1st great-grandchild.  Pregnancy has certainly got me thinking on being powerful and yet loving in my own life. I feel powerful in that my body is growing this little human and what power of choice I have in my birth. As for love, I've been thinking about who shows love to me? How do I love other people? How can I love this new little human being?  So I'm hoping that I can be focused on developing the love that my grandmother exemplified with her family. I guess I'm a bit scared that I'll be a big wuss with the pain. That I lose sight of the beauty of bringing a child into the world. That I might get frustrated with myself too easily rather than accept what this process has in store for me.

So I answer your question, I hope to understand my own power and capacity for love in my birth experience.

[scarletsmiles]

Originally Posted by Chapsie 

Are you going to continue teaching after you have the baby?  

That's so cool that you're a dentist!  :)

I have a dentistry-related question for you... I know someone who had really beautiful teeth, but after using crest white strips one time and drinking coffee every day, this person now has brown stains  (stripes) on their teeth.  Is this from wearing away the enamel?  This person never had a problem with stains until after using the whitestrips.  Is there anything he can do to remove the stains?  Obviously, he is very hesitant to try any whitening products again.

I also think it's super cool that your DH is in med school for emergency medicine!  Good for him!  I know a lot of residents from my job and I now how hard they work!  Good luck to both of you in this next exciting phase of life!!  

Do you know the gender of your baby?  What are you most excited about regarding motherhood?  

Thank you! Residency will be pretty wild, but he ranked programs that provide great training but a good work life balance too. And the ones that give them free food seemed to rank highly ;)

Teaching after the baby

Hmm, that is something I'd love to do. It just depends on where we move and how I'm feeling. Sometimes I worry about being able to have professional oppurtunitites or falling behind. but then I tell myself that is just silly. I still do tons more continuing ed than I need and there are always dental assisting, hygiene, and dentistry programs who need some passionate teachers. I have to have this conversation with myself occasionally because it is tough having to step away from practicing after putting all that hard work into training.

White strips q.

It's tough to say without looking at their brown stripes, sad! Whitening won't work on any crowns or white fillings, only natural teeth. Whitening with strips may not do so evenly either depending on how they are place. Also it can be uneven if there is calculus on the teeth. I'd recommend seeing a dentist. It may be, they just need a cleaning, or they'll have to get some fillings replaced to match they newly whitened natural structure or a professional whitening will even everything out. Or there may be something else going that is easy to fix, but it's hard to say without seeing it in person. Either way, it's totally possible to hide or remove the stains!

Gender of our baby

It's a surprise! DH actually asked if we could not find out. He really enjoyed the atmosphere at the births where the sex was a surprise. The more I thought about the more I liked it. And so we wait to be surprised! He actually snuck me in to get an ultrasound at 13 weeks. So the 1st time we saw our child it was just us.

Most excited about motherhood

I'm really excited to play with my kids! DH and I try not to be overly serious and play board games and do silly things. I think we'll be able to do even more of that once we have kids. DH is already scoping out cool blocks and other toys he's excited to try :)

[Chapsie]

Originally Posted by scarletsmiles 

So I answer your question, I hope to understand my own power and capacity for love in my birth experience.

this is beautiful!  :) 

Your grandmother sounds amazing!!  You are so blessed to have had such an amazing woman in your life!

And I would definitely love to see that website with your vacation tips and tricks when it is ready!!!  

[spughy]

I'm really happy for you that pregnancy didn't exacerbate your condition!  I have a friend who has fibromyalgia and she felt really good throughout her pregnancy too - she said it was such a relief!

My parents were both involved in dentistry btw - my dad was a dentist and my mom a "dental nurse" (now called a hygienist).

Sooo.... my question is, after all your traveling pregnant, do you look forward to traveling with a child?  Did you find yourself watching people with children while you were traveling to see if they had any little tricks?

[jodieanneanton]

Originally Posted by Chapsie 

And I would definitely love to see that website with your vacation tips and tricks when it is ready!!!  

  Let us know!!!!!!!! :D

[cocoanib]

Ooh travel hacking sounds awesome! I love a good deal, especially with the prices of airfare these days.

So glad that your pregmnancy has you feeling better!

[chocolatechip]

You do sound like you've figured out the travel experience! I love the idea of going to Paris and eating baguettes and cheese and pastries every day. Mmm, French food. Sounds like a great first vacation with the baby. 

Your grandmother sounds amazing, and given the thought you've put into it, I bet you'll be amazing too. 

[scarletsmiles]

Originally Posted by spughy 

I'm really happy for you that pregnancy didn't exacerbate your condition!  I have a friend who has fibromyalgia and she felt really good throughout her pregnancy too - she said it was such a relief!

My parents were both involved in dentistry btw - my dad was a dentist and my mom a "dental nurse" (now called a hygienist).

Sooo.... my question is, after all your traveling pregnant, do you look forward to traveling with a child?  Did you find yourself watching people with children while you were traveling to see if they had any little tricks?

Thanks spughy!

Traveling pregnant is kind of fun actually.(Except for the cankles, the cabins are pressurized at 10,000ft so the ankles inevtiably swelled. even with compression hose to prevent DVTs.) Southwest lets pregnant women have priority boarding - so I got on with at the same time as all the people in wheelchairs. And DH carries my bag. He had a hard time keeping a straight face walking on in front on everyone else.  I felt bad that I was boarding before the families with young kids! They allow them on after the A group. I mean yeah I had to pee a few times on the flight, but getting your kids on and settled seemed more pressing.

I certianly did notice families with kids traveling! Strollers in an airport just seem like a HUGE hassle. Perhaps I'm just a naive 1st time pregnant mom, but the whole stroller/infant car seat, humogeous diaper bag complex, along with any travel supplies the parent might need seems crazy. Strollers took FOREVER to get through security. They are tough to bring in bathrooms. I saw this frazzled mom with kids that needed to go to the bathroom push her double stroller into a crowded ladies room. Her husband offered to watch the stroller but she insisted on doing it. No way that stroller was going to fit. Sure enough 5 seconds later  2 frustrated kid screams eminated from the bathroom. And you have to check the stroller anyway at the gate. And you have to pick it up when you deboard. Seems like lots of extra steps that don't provide much help in the airport.

I much prefer a minimilist approach. The parents with kids in a carrier seemed way less stressed. They could manuever about the airports easier, their kids got more friendly attention, since you aren't running over people's feet and bags. They got through security really fast. They could also sneak in a bathroom easier for a diaper change. I also noticed some parents take thier kids to an empty gate and let them crawl or run around a bit before getting on the flight. I also noticed families doing curbside checkin with bags before they stepped foot in the airport. Lightening the load you know? Also the golf cart people seemed very willing to give tired families with kids a ride to their gate. Stroller-less made getting on it easy.

Hmm, perhaps I should add a traveling with young kids section to this travel hacking site. We'll see if my observations hold true or if I'm completely wrong!

[spughy]

No IME you've got it exactly right!!!  I took DD to Europe by myself when she was 20 months - no stroller, one suitcase for both of us.  I used a sling (back carry) the whole time and it was a breeze.  I did borrow a stroller in England and in Portugal (where I was with either friends or relatives) for getting around the towns we were in, but you are SO right - strollers in an airport are a major hassle and totally not worth it.  The one time DH and I went to Hawaii with DD when she was still stroller-size we just sucked it up and bought an umbrella stroller there.  I think we left it with the rented condo so other people could use it after us (I'm sure those folks with boys were thrilled with the pink-hearts motif, LOL).

[beautifulnm]

Originally Posted by spughy 

No IME you've got it exactly right!!!  I took DD to Europe by myself when she was 20 months - no stroller, one suitcase for both of us.  I used a sling (back carry) the whole time and it was a breeze.  I did borrow a stroller in England and in Portugal (where I was with either friends or relatives) for getting around the towns we were in, but you are SO right - strollers in an airport are a major hassle and totally not worth it.  The one time DH and I went to Hawaii with DD when she was still stroller-size we just sucked it up and bought an umbrella stroller there.  I think we left it with the rented condo so other people could use it after us (I'm sure those folks with boys were thrilled with the pink-hearts motif, LOL).

I did the Maclaren when I traveled but the furthest I went was Cuba. I managed to just stuff everything DS and I would need into one tote bag that could easily be hooked to the stroller. For the most part I had it to where I would have him out of the stroller before going down the ramp to the plane, just grab the bag out of the seat of the stroller, and Maclarens are easy to fold, so I wasn't spending 15 minutes folding, and I wasn't holding the line up behind me.. but I can see if you're trying to go through the airport with your full-size stroller it'd be ridiculous. Even though we had a car everywhere we went the stroller was fantastic for me because we did a lot of walking at all locations, and I'm not so much the wearing type because of the bad back pain I had early on kind of put me off wearing him unless we were just doing chores around the house.

[Chapsie]

hmm, I thought my stroller was super helpful in the airport, actually.  If you are flying somewhere domestic, where you'll need a car seat and a stroller when you get there, you have to bring it with you to the airport anyway.  (Although rental car places also rent car seats, so that's an option, too).  I had a small stroller that had a basket underneath (a colcraft contours) which held my purse and diaper bag and it made it a lot easier to carry everything through the airport. I could hang carry on bags off of the back of the stroller, and my son could nap in the stroller during layovers.   You are allowed to bring the stroller right up to the plane as you are boarding and they load it last and unload it first, so you have it available to you almost the entire time except for while actually on the plane.  (you don't need to check it at the gate).  I do a lot of babywearing normally, but with lots of stuff and multiple kids, its actually helpful to have a stroller to help you wheel stuff around.  Just my humble opinion.  :)  and I don't recall the security check being too tough with the stroller... there was actually a special line in the security area of our airport for families with strollers.