Psychological Side-Effects « Back to Group Discussions

[Xobel]

Hello all - 

I'm 30 years old and working on my first. There's been a few surprises.  For one, it turns out that I am a complete nut-case while pregnant. It's not what you think, exactly: I don't fly into rages or break down weeping. I DO vacillate between having half a dozen intense dreams per night and suffering wicked insomnia. To top it off, my dreams are very often nightmares - something I haven't dealt with en masse since childhood. The nightmare-meets-sleepless-nights combo results in varying levels of anxiety, which extends into my personal life and makes me paranoid about how I'm coming across to other people. This social anxiety isn't helped by the fact that I have become forgetful as all get-out, which is a real danger both at home and at the workplace - particularly where stoves are concerned. Not to mention that the frequency with which I ask for help - for everything from remembering tasks to getting back into places I've locked myself out of - is surely wearing on people. Compounding all of this is an inability to just "let things slide" that I had nearly mastered before pregnancy; I feel like a guilt-ridden, skittish wild animal. "Laugh it off" doesn't feel like much of an option right now.

I was much more chill before this - I meditated nearly every day, did plenty of yoga and was generally quite mindful of my actions and the world around me, and I had a tremendous sense of humor. But over night - BOOM - deep relaxation suddenly became nearly impossible, and the consequences for lack-there-of are ones that I am not in any way comfortable with. Particularly at three in the morning. I've developed many new bad habits as "coping mechanisms" - an addiction to the internet being the primary one, and needless to say THAT has never helped anyone unwind! I thought the second trimester was supposed to be the "good" one anyway! So far it sure doesn't feel like a "honeymoon!"

Any tips from moms who've been through this? How do you make peace? Helpful herbs? Hobbies? Etcetera? I work out plenty and eat quite well, and my life in REALITY is very low stress - no financial worries, great co-workers, easy-going small-town environment, etc. What I really feel I need is a way back into meditation and relaxation exercises. Every attempt I've made recently, I feel like I'm a teenager all over again trying it for the first time, going, "WTF?? How do people actually DO this?!" Similarly, I know I should drink more water, but can't for the life of me figure out HOW to convince myself to. I am turning out to be my own biggest stumbling block!

[mama_b]

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time.  I can't relate exactly to what you're going through, but I had severe anxiety during my second pregnancy because of my life circumstances at the time.  Bach's rescue remedy helped me a lot.  You can get it online and in most health food stores.

[Banana731]

Skullcap tincture. You can also find it in tea form, but it's not a potent.

[askew]

I can relate. Pregnancy brings out the crazy in me. I obsess over what could go wrong, find myself drawn to pregnancy and birth horror stories. It's not good. I try to ignore the worry and go about my day, but that's easier the third time around. I think if you got some great sleep you might feel better. Try some homeopathic sleep remedies. I am also a huge fan of the stress formula from this line. 

http://www.wishgardenherbs.com/gallery/pregnancy

[Mama505]

Yup, that's me too!  I am on my third pregnancy and I can totally relate to your kind of crazies.  With my first I generally stayed up all night painting.  I worked the breakfast shift at a restaurant a few days a week and was a nanny for the others.  On the days at the restaurant I would take a nap after my shift, on the days I nannied I napped at the same time as the child.  That helped a lot.  Also, I tried to spend as much time as possible outside... just on my porch, or at the playground (where there are often other preggo mamas), walking/hiking.  Being outside seemed to help ground me some.

With my second I pursued random home-improvement projects throughout the wee hours of the night.  I then stayed home with my toddler during the mornings and worked part time in the afternoons in an art studio.  I could sleep when my toddler napped and spend my mornings outside with him. 

This time, I have just been up all night playing on the internet (like you said, not the best for anyone).  I still get to rest when it's nap time, but it has been too cold to go out much lately, and gray out anyway, so we haven't been getting our dose of nature and Vitamin D lately. 

For the nights when I have to sleep and I am just laying there with my mind going a mile a minute, I turn to (cue the dreamy music) Calm's Forte, by Hylands.  You can take between 1 and 4 I think, depending on if you just "need a chill pill" or are trying to get some sleep.  And it sure isn't Valium, but it definitely helps!  On the rare occasion that I don't make it to sleep within 30-45 minutes of taking it, I am so relaxed that I don't want to get up and do anything.  I am perfectly content to lay in bed and daydream. 

Oh, and I get the nightmares too... I forgot that part.  I hadn't had nightmares like this since I was a kid.  But I don't when I take Calm's Forte (I swear, I don't own stock in the company or anything, it is just that good -for me).  It really is a godsend!  Get more sleep and I think some of your other issues might remedy themselves.

Ahhh, I could write more, but it is time to get that kid to sleep!  Good luck, hope this helps!

[Xobel]

Thank you for your suggestions, everyone! I am glad that there are some remedies out there that are pregnancy-friendly. I haven't been having quite as hard of a time the past few days & nights, but it has definitely been coming in waves, so when the next swell rises up I will try to be prepared!

Thanks again!