Hello all -
I'm 30 years old and working on my first. There's been a few surprises. For one, it turns out that I am a complete nut-case while pregnant. It's not what you think, exactly: I don't fly into rages or break down weeping. I DO vacillate between having half a dozen intense dreams per night and suffering wicked insomnia. To top it off, my dreams are very often nightmares - something I haven't dealt with en masse since childhood. The nightmare-meets-sleepless-nights combo results in varying levels of anxiety, which extends into my personal life and makes me paranoid about how I'm coming across to other people. This social anxiety isn't helped by the fact that I have become forgetful as all get-out, which is a real danger both at home and at the workplace - particularly where stoves are concerned. Not to mention that the frequency with which I ask for help - for everything from remembering tasks to getting back into places I've locked myself out of - is surely wearing on people. Compounding all of this is an inability to just "let things slide" that I had nearly mastered before pregnancy; I feel like a guilt-ridden, skittish wild animal. "Laugh it off" doesn't feel like much of an option right now.
I was much more chill before this - I meditated nearly every day, did plenty of yoga and was generally quite mindful of my actions and the world around me, and I had a tremendous sense of humor. But over night - BOOM - deep relaxation suddenly became nearly impossible, and the consequences for lack-there-of are ones that I am not in any way comfortable with. Particularly at three in the morning. I've developed many new bad habits as "coping mechanisms" - an addiction to the internet being the primary one, and needless to say THAT has never helped anyone unwind! I thought the second trimester was supposed to be the "good" one anyway! So far it sure doesn't feel like a "honeymoon!"
Any tips from moms who've been through this? How do you make peace? Helpful herbs? Hobbies? Etcetera? I work out plenty and eat quite well, and my life in REALITY is very low stress - no financial worries, great co-workers, easy-going small-town environment, etc. What I really feel I need is a way back into meditation and relaxation exercises. Every attempt I've made recently, I feel like I'm a teenager all over again trying it for the first time, going, "WTF?? How do people actually DO this?!" Similarly, I know I should drink more water, but can't for the life of me figure out HOW to convince myself to. I am turning out to be my own biggest stumbling block!