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HELP! ALWAYS cries before sleep....any ideas???

post #1 of 8
Thread Starter 

HI Mammas...


I have a beautiful 16 week old boy who is a happy, cooing, drooling guy during his wakeful periods.....but cries like hell before all naps and bedtime. And cries usually when he wakes up. And I mean CRIES....not fussing...but crying like a crazy train. Like out of control.


And I don't mean that we put him down and walk away and he starts crying (we know that would cause crying, of course!!!)- I mean that he cries in my arms, while I am nursing him down-- or in my husbands arms.....we are holding him the whole time until he passes out!!! Sometimes he doesn't cry while nursing down- but often he does (and no, he doesn't cry at all while nursing when he is not approaching sleep). When he was little bouncing on a ball or other things could distract him to break the crying cycle on occasion- but now, not so much. Like I said- it doesn't matter if its a nap- or bedtime.....he usually has some sort of cry fest before hand sometimes short- sometimes like 15 minutes long!!!!!


I am pretty militant about putting him down before he gets over-tired---so I just don't get it. Perhaps this is just what he "needs" to do???


It feels awful! He is easily comforted btw by holding, rocking, nursing if he is not going to sleep-- and didn't have colic.


My first didn't do this...so its making me crazy. I feel like am damaging him...but I don't know what to do! He is happy and "normal" in every other way as far as I can see....the only other issue he has is screaming bloody murder when he is in the car. He hatessssss it. He appears totally pissed that I can't pick him up (read my other post from a few months ago)- and trust me,,,,I AM totally pissed that I can't pick him up. ;) That is also misery that has us staying home often!!!


Any ideas?

post #2 of 8
My son used to do this, for him it was being overtired. I know you said you don't think that is the problem but maybe try putting down earlier anyway?
post #3 of 8
Thread Starter 
I will try that for bedtime- but for naps it's tough. He is only awake approx. 1 1/2 hours usually before nap starts and he's tired for sure. It's a tricky notion to figure out what his nap sleep window is these days...
post #4 of 8
Hi ladyleah,
I actually can't believe I'm replying to this post as it wasn't long ago that we went through the same.

My DS used to cry hard in our arms before every nap as well. It was such a difficult time. By 14 weeks he would take much longer to fall asleep if my husband tried to put him down for a nap. From 16 weeks onwards I started walking/rocking him while nursing him at the same time and this helped him fall asleep much easier. We also had blackout blinds and heartbeat sounds playing as he's a very light sleeper. At 16 weeks I also decided to come out of the room if his crying got very intense. I would then walk around the house, DS in arms, boobie in his mouth, and return to the bedroom after a few minutes to try again. By 20-22 weeks the intense crying before each nap had passed. But YES .... naps became all on me and still are. So I suppose I'm just sharing our story rather than giving advice.

Also from 11weeks my son started crying after 10 mins in the car. I know how limiting it can be!!! For us, I am pretty certain he cried because the car made him sleepy but he couldn't transition to sleep in the car seat and then cried from tiredness. Back then if we had to travel someplace further than 15-20 minutes i would sit in back of car, lean into the carseat and allow my son breastfeed when he started to get fussy and he was often asleep within minutes. i KNOW how crazy that must sound to people bur it was the only way we could travel safely. My DS is now 14 months and we have done trips up to 90minutes with me in front driving and husband in back entertaining DS with books, songs, toys, DVD etc. we make sure we leave for the journey shortly after a nap so he isn't tired.

Just a glimpse into my crazy world!
post #5 of 8
Thread Starter 
Susanmary- I totally can relate! I posted back in December about a long car trip where I spent 3 hours laying over the darn infant bucket seat so that my LO could nurse while we were driving down the road! Not fun- but i was desperate on a 9 hour car ride! And also really dangerous, I know!
post #6 of 8
Anything to stop the crying though! It's so distressing for everyone, isn't it! When my son was almost 1 yr we invested in an in car DVD player which gets us longer in the car without him fussing. I'm generally anti tv, but in this case it's well worth it.

The only other thing I can say is that it really does get easier as they get older and need less sleep. My DS first 6 - 8 months were so much more difficult than I ever imagined, but he's worth every tough moment. :-D
post #7 of 8

My first nursed to sleep and never cried.  Dd HAD to cry before she went to sleep.  It didn't matter what we did, cuddling, nursing, rocking, they all made it worse.  Finally we just started putting her down and letting her be and guess what?  She just cried for a few minutes and went to sleep.  It was almost as if she needed that release before she could relax enough to fall asleep.  Even now at 7 she's highly emotional (and still flips out before bedtime and cries, hmm).  I still don't know how to parent her, because she goes against a lot of what I feel comes naturally as a mom. 


It used to take us 3+ hours to make an hour and a half drive.  I turned her ff at 14 months because I just couldn't take the crying anymore.  Like magic she was just fine.  A big change from keeping ds rearfacing until after his 3rd birthday :(  Sanity won out over safety on that one.   She HATED the car.

post #8 of 8

I had a former foster daughter that we had for the first 10 months of her life.  She did the same thing to me.  It was short-lived, but it was a good cry.  And same thing--we didn't leave her, she wasn't scared or anything.  And I'm going to bet I probably have an old post here trying to figure it out, too, because the LAST thing I wanted (especially for a child that wasn't with her mama already) was to have this little one suffer any more trauma.


And she totally napped during the day, plus she slept well after that 3-5 min. spout.  Someone suggested that maybe she was just one of those kids that needed to release the energy of the day and in her own little body--this was how she could do it rather than kicking or something else.


I forget how old she was when she stopped, but when she left us at 10mo, she was no longer doing it.  (she is almost 6yo now luxlove.gif )

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