My daughter is a great communicator. She tells me every time she has to go, about three seconds before it happens. We have not caught a single poo or pee. Nothing. I know when she's going to go. She usually starts to go in her sleep and wakes herself up as she's going, so that one's missed. I'd be happy to catch one a day but so far no luck. We're in a realtively cold part of Oregon so I'm not in love with the concept of leaving the diaper off or leaving off the diaper cover. Anyone have any ideas?
- topicElimination Communicationtagged by drtaylor, 2/8/13
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6 Weeks no Luckpost #1 of 182/8/13 at 12:28pmThread Starterpost #2 of 182/8/13 at 2:44pm
It is AWESOME that you are picking up on cues, so don't be discouraged. So the 3 sec is just not enough time... Are you trying to get her to the toilet or keeping a potty nearby? Quicker to keep a potty nearby. Or just some big container- a bowl or tupperware.
I totally recommend leaving off the diaper cover. It is just one more layer of work to get off, and keeps you from seeing the pee right away. And there are lots of ways to keep baby warm while keeping easy access. Wool chaps (you can make them from old sweaters for example, or buy them at EC stores online, the EC store, or Continuum Family for example) work great- keep baby warm, don't need washed if they get a little pee on them, and you can either leave the bum naked with maybe a long shirt or snuggly dress over, or tuck a prefold in teh front and back which is super fast to undo. Traditional diapers, even cloth ones, are just not made for EC and are not super fast (you need super fast!) to get off. Baby-legs leg warmers or long socks (rocka-thigh, or bigger kid socks) are another option for keeping legs warm with a long shirt, dress or tunic. We used an unbuttoned onesie a lot of the time.
EC isn't part of our culture, and our baby stuff isn't made for EC. So you need to think outside the box. If you are trying to dress your 6 week old in jeans (I've seen people do this! It is so weird to me!) it will be hard to get to the potty in time. Less is so much more in EC. Best option is naked butt. If you just can't come to grips with the naked butt, try to leave off the cover. That cover isn't really keeping your bub so warm- it is just protecting your furniture. But a six week old baby pee is so little, it isn't going to make a puddle anywhere. Even the skimpiest prefold will hold it. Even poops at this age are not going to leak out.post #3 of 182/8/13 at 6:39pmThread Starter
I should also mention that we rent, have carpet, and have roommates. Our bedroom is the master, has an adjoining bathroom, and that is usually where I take her.
Side note, most babies here wear jeans and shoes outside. We live in what is basically a natural wind tunnel. One of the reasons we will only be doing EC at home until she indicates a desire for a public restroom.post #4 of 182/11/13 at 10:13amJust talk to her about it if you know she is going.
So today you say, "Shhh" while she pees every time you can. Don't even mess with the diaper.
Tomorrow you go, oh, she's going to need to pee in the next few minutes. Take her in the bathroom, undress her, hold her over the pot and say, "Shhhh." Give her a minute and she will probably give a pee.post #5 of 182/11/13 at 8:54pmThread Starterpost #6 of 182/12/13 at 4:48amAs she gets older she will be stronger and pee less freqiently and you will be more used to her clothes and diapers. A lot of people seem to like to start around 3 months.
I like to think of the many pees in the beginning as many chances to communicate or catch. Often you can offer without signal and you'll still get a pee. Even if you just cue her into her diaper, you're keeping her aware of her elimination.post #7 of 182/12/13 at 5:27amThread Starterpost #8 of 182/12/13 at 11:12ampost #9 of 182/13/13 at 4:26am
Cues are great for babies who can have a naked or lightly diapered time of day. If that's not what works for your family, timing will be great until there is a longer interval between the signal and the event.post #10 of 182/21/13 at 10:51pm
Yeah, don't worry about catching. If you already know when she's going, that's a great step! Now just work on the communication piece. Teach her the cue sound by making it every time you know she is peeing for a week or two. THEN take her to the potty one day (around a time when she usually has to go) and make the noise and see what happens. But ONLY make the noise when you know she's going for a while...that will teach her to associate the noise with peeing, and will help her pee when you make the noise.post #11 of 182/21/13 at 10:52pmpost #12 of 182/23/13 at 8:33am
Our LO is 12 weeks and we've been practicing since she was 4 weeks. We use a mixture of timing, cues and intuition - we have days of catching almost every pee and poo and days of missing almost all of them. The key is to be relaxed about it. If it's stressing you out that your not catching, give yourself a break and just enjoy the observation and bonding you have. You can start by making cue sounds when you know she's peeing, so she knows you know, and she starts associating the action with the sound. We say pssss, because we use shhh for calming her and we don't want to confuse her... We also have carpeting and we rent. Having bowls for catching wherever you spend your time helps, and after noticing her rhythms, you can offer her the potty before she cues - like upon awakening, soon after feeding, more often in the am or after a nap - for instance. If you're concerned about pee soaking through the prefold, you can use a lap pad under your baby's bum. We use a diaper belt with the prefold on warmer days and fleece or wool baby chaps on colder days with a lap pad under our LO. When she's worn and cries out, I've found it's usually because she has to pee. So I don't worry about her peeing on me, she always lets me know... Also listen to your intuition! I have often found myself thinking "I wonder if she has to pee." And 9 times out of 10 she does, even if she just peed... I got my EC stuff online, EC Wear is great, but you can probably make a lot of things yourself if you'd prefer... And putting a prefold in whatever bowl you use is helpful, that way you don't have to worry about tipping over a bowl of pee that you weren't able to empty right away. And please don't give up! I am the only one of my friends practicing EC too, and it can sometimes feel like I'm on my own, but I believe the benefits outweigh the challenges in the long run. And really, on the days when I catch a lot EC is so much easier than diapering because I have so much less clean up and a happy, dry baby. Hope this is helpful. You're doing great just by tuning in to the cues...
post #13 of 182/25/13 at 5:54pmThread StarterI caught one the other day,kind of. She had just woken up and I cued her over a prefold. Nothing. So I set her down after thirty seconds or so, and bingo! Pee! I just needed to give her more time. We were traveling last week so I laid off but we will start up again and see if we don't gave more luck.post #14 of 183/1/13 at 1:39pmThread Starterpost #15 of 183/2/13 at 2:42pmpost #16 of 183/5/13 at 4:04pmpost #17 of 183/5/13 at 4:27pm
EC was such a gift for DH and I to learn that little ones actively communicate from birth. Our efforts at responding to the communication set a pattern that dd learned to trust: we would not get everything perfect as parents but we are always here to listen.
Less diapers and laundry is great, but there are so many other benefits that came from EC . . . even though we didn't catch every elimination and even though dd wasn't fully away from diapers until 2 1/2 yrs old. (she was too busy to communicate and didn't want to interrupt her play/work to use the potty once she was a year old, but we still caught some pees)
So I encourage you not to give up or entertain thoughts that you are doing something wrong. It's all great!
You are obviously doing something right because your little one is still communicating . . . she hasn't given up on you. : )post #18 of 183/14/13 at 2:08am
I'd try split crotch pants or better yet chaps and put a cloth prefold over those held in place with a diaper belt…very easy to remove for a quick potty while keeping her legs very warm and dry. You can also try saying "wait" as you transport her to the potty…it works more than you'd think! :)
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