Originally Posted by philomom
Originally Posted by tbone_kneegrabber
Even adults "who love each other" need to ask before touching each other.
My marriage implies consent to touch and be touched. I welcome my husband's touch and I love feeling as casual about his body as I do my own. This is one of marriage's biggest joys, IMO.
So yes, you could be splitting hairs here. Or you think that's too confusing for young people to grasp?
I'm speaking from a history (personal and societal) of women being sexual assaulted by people they "love". Even in 2013 it is difficult to get a prosecution for "marital rape" and the implication that love or marriage is consent is problematic. Just because someone consented once doesn't mean they consent always. It is everyone's right to not be touched when they don't want to be touched. I believe it is important for children to hear and see that you can love someone and still choose when you are willing to be touched.
It just sounds a little too much like "if you really loved me you'd go all the way". The pressure to have sex doesn't end for people once they are in love or married many people negotiate that pressure forever.
Also your statement that "only adults who love each other can touch WITHOUT asking" implies that it is a-okay for kids to touch each other as long as they ask.
I am glad that it works for your relationship to be one of implied consent but I think that stating that loving relationships don't include explicit consent is problematic. I need explicit consent to be part of my relationship(s) for that relationship to be healthy, loving, and respectful.