Weekly Chat Thread Feb. 10- Feb. 16 - Page 2 « Back to Group Discussions

[chocolatechip]

I'm definitely getting more tired, and feeling slower at doing anything. I feel pretty amazingly lucky right now, though, that I'm not working *and* I don't have any other kids to take care of. All of you who do those things (sometimes both together) are rockstars! Being able to stay decently rested, and be quiet when I need to be, has made a big difference for me. We'll see how things go when we eventually get to the planned second baby. 

My husband's headed off on Thursday to Montreal for work, and I'm not sure how I'm going to deal with that. When I went to CA, I was going somewhere where I got to see all sorts of family and friends and had a bunch of things to do. This will be different, for sure! We are going to go out for a nice dinner tonight since he'll be gone on Valentine's Day, so I'm looking forward to that. We'll see how I fit at the table, though - our "special night out" place is a small restaurant with tables close together!!

So, since he's going to be gone on Thursday, I've made plans with a single friend to have fun that day. She is going to come over and help me figure out drapes for the windows on our house that don't have them, and then we're going to take a field trip to the restaurant supply store, and we'll wrap up by cooking good food and her letting me feed her gin and tonics.  Good times!

I got a baby registry finished up yesterday - about time since my baby shower is in two weeks. It was actually really nice to put together, because it made me realize that really, we have most of what we need, and we're down to some odds and ends necessities and some things that would be nice to have. I'm hoping a lot of people will choose to sign up for the parts I put in where they can help stock our freezer or bring us fresh meals after baby is born. 

[maydaymom10]

Originally Posted by spughy 

I really hate it when he ignores HIS chores and tries to do mine.  It feels like passive-aggressive criticism - like "you left those dishes too long so I'm going to do them".  It's only ever dishes, though.  Never tries that with the laundry or cleaning the bathroom or anything that WOULDN'T hurt his hands.  Grrr.  Meanwhile, he's had boxes of stuff that need to be put away in his office cluttering up the hall and stairway (and forming a fire hazard if DD had to get out of her room quickly at night, and preventing me from vacuuming the stairs) and we've had a stroller sitting in the kitchen for several weeks waiting for a bracket on the wall, and I couldn't put anything more into the recycling bin outside until it got emptied so there was a pile-up of cans and jars and stuff on the counter.  And I was very carefully NOT NAGGING about any of it.

  My DH is the same. I got so annoyed yesterday. I spent most of Saturday cleaning the kitchen & downstairs. Yesterday I went to a baby shower & DH mentioned that he was going to clean. So I told him that I'd done the kitchen and not to spend a lot of time in there, other than cleaning the dishes. And that they upstairs really needed to be cleaned. So I got home & he was playing video games. He had cleaned... the kitchen!!! Grrr. He eventually finished the family room & downstairs bath (possibly the only thing downstairs that I hadn't cleaned), but nothing upstairs. Our midwife is coming over for a home visit on Friday & I really wanted to get that done. Guess I know what I'll be doing this week.

AFM  - So I've made it -- 37 weeks! I am officially "go" for my home birth if I go into labor. Yay!   Of course I'm not expecting anything to happen for at least a few weeks. DS was 40+5, so I'm guessing she'll be around the same. We'll see. I was able to get a good nap in today, but woke up still tired and now in a foul mood. Maybe I can get a bath in later.

So a quick vent. We're half-heartedly trying to potty train DS (he'll be 3 in May). I have him in cotton training pants while we're home, and if he lets me know he's wet, then we run to the potty & have him sit. He gets a m&m for sitting, and stickers if something actually happens. So just awhile ago he actually have a few drops of pee in his potty. I made a crazy excited stinks about the whole thing -- M&M's, stickers, high 5's, etc. So now he's proceeded to tell me he's "poopy" (aka: wet) 5 times in about 45 mins. And yet, he's been wet all 5 times. I know it takes time to get it (we've been doing this off and on for about a month), but really?? If you're going to let a few drops go, why not just relax and let loose Buddy?!? Sigh. At least I had just started a load of laundry. Anyone with tips on this please feel free to share. I'm not expecting him to be trained before the baby comes, but I don't know if I'm approaching this whole thing right. And, for the record, I don't think the whole 3-day training thing will work for us right now. There's just not a good weekend where we can commit ourselves to being at home for that. 

Hoping for an attitude change tomorrow. Hope everyone else is doing well!

[Melany]

Originally Posted by maydaymom10 

So a quick vent. We're half-heartedly trying to potty train DS (he'll be 3 in May). I have him in cotton training pants while we're home, and if he lets me know he's wet, then we run to the potty & have him sit. He gets a m&m for sitting, and stickers if something actually happens. So just awhile ago he actually have a few drops of pee in his potty. I made a crazy excited stinks about the whole thing -- M&M's, stickers, high 5's, etc. So now he's proceeded to tell me he's "poopy" (aka: wet) 5 times in about 45 mins. And yet, he's been wet all 5 times. I know it takes time to get it (we've been doing this off and on for about a month), but really?? If you're going to let a few drops go, why not just relax and let loose Buddy?!? Sigh. At least I had just started a load of laundry. Anyone with tips on this please feel free to share. I'm not expecting him to be trained before the baby comes, but I don't know if I'm approaching this whole thing right. And, for the record, I don't think the whole 3-day training thing will work for us right now. There's just not a good weekend where we can commit ourselves to being at home for that. 

Any chance you can get your husband involved? Our son actually got really excited when he saw the older kids learning at day care. The woman who ran it would put cheerios into the regular toilet and aiming for that was major entertainment for the boys. She'd bring in the kids that were old enough, but still in diapers to see how it was done. He actually got so excited trying that that he decided he was ready and just wanted big kid pants one day. So, maybe your husband can help show him the "aim" game.

I also found some cloth diaper like underpants for going out and that made a major difference. That way we were consistent at home and out and about. Those little carseat liners that keep the seat dry are helpful at this point, too. But, once he had made the decision to wear the big kid pants, he hardly had an accident, even overnight. It was really different from when my daughter potty trained and we tried to push her. She had accidents for years. 

[LightForest]

oh maydaymom i'm right there with you on the potty training adventure. as a matter of fact, DD (2.5) peed on the floor just a minute ago as I was beginning to respond to your post. ack. (i'm pretty sure she's figured out that a sure way to get mom and dad to "snap out of it" and give her some attention is to pee on the floor...)

i don't have ANY words of wisdom, i can only offer commiseration! i considered creating some kind of reward system (like m&m's) but ultimately decided against it because, knowing DD, she would totally figure out the system and game it to her advantage to get as many treats as possible. too complicated for me - i can't stand the toddler head games! i'm sort of glad the baby will be here soon, simply because we'll begin doing more frequent diaper laundry and it'll be easier to throw her underpants in the wash on a more regular basis. as it is i've been running out of clean ones and having to do extra loads of laundry just to re-up my toddler undie supply.

[Chapsie]

Oh yes, Potty Training!  That has been my life, too, the past couple of weeks!  

With my DS, he was 2.5 when we "trained" him and we did the 3 day weekend thing.  Every 15 minutes, he'd sit on the potty for 5 minutes, etc... I told him that the stores didn't make diapers in his size any more and that he couldn't wear them anymore.  We just put loose fitting sweat pants and jammie pants on him (didn't want to spend the money on training underwear, lol) and were just really consistent with making sure he'd sit on the potty every so often.  We even put his potty seat in the living room so he could watch TV while on the potty.  We'd put a cloth diaper on him overnight (we called it "Special Underwear" not a diaper!).  

Luckily, for us, this method worked really well for him and he was potty trained (even at night!) in only a week!  (But it was A LOT OF WORK).  As soon as it "clicked" in his head, he did great.  Oh... one thing that really helped was finding a potty chair that he really liked.  He hated sitting on the first one that we got, but I picked up a Fisher Price Froggy Potty that he loved and was a lot more comfortable for him.  

So... I tried to do this with my DD back in september/october, but it DID NOT WORK!  haha.  Every kid is different!  I tried the intensive potty training thing that I described above and she resisted.  She did not want to sit on the potty!  So... I gave up.  I figured she wasn't ready and I was too tired and lazy to keep up on it by myself (while DH was at work).  

To my surprise... DH started putting my DD in cloth training pants ("underwear") and encouraging her to sit on the potty at regular intervals when I was at work about a week ago (she will be 3 in June).  She LOVED it and is now almost fully potty trained!  It just had to be on her timing, I guess!  I am SO proud of both her and my DH!!!  I didn't have to do hardly anything!  :)  

So... no real advice, I guess... other than don't stress about it... they'll figure it out when they are ready.  I know that for my stubborn DD, she wanted to do it when it was her idea, not when it was something that mommy was making her do, you know?  

Checking out books and videos from the library about "being a potty princess" and about how "big girls wear underwear" really helped make her excited about the process.  Might be something to look in to!

[babytoes]

Originally Posted by jodieanneanton 

The fb group is going to be changed to private once we everyone signed up.    And we are not really posting/sharing/chatting there until all of our babies are born.  

Must go finish dinner.  Will be back later! 



 

Thanks Jodie... I will make the FB "secret" once we are all in and a part of it. Than at that point, we can post anything, including pics, and none of it will show up on your newsfeed. I can't do it until we have everyone, that wants to be, a part of the group. Once it goes secret, it's totally hidden.

[writermama12]

Mayday and Spughy, I am having a bit of an issue with DH and DS1 not helping with the stuff I cannot do and not really picking up after themselves lately and the issue is that it ticks me off. But I am trying not to rock the house boat because we (all three of us) had a major MAJOR blowup a few days ago, raising voices and slamming doors and all around angry. Mainly because DS1 was too rough with the baby and pushed him away and the baby hit his head hard on the corner of a bookshelf, which gave him a big lump and a bloody scrape-- DH does not handle high stress situations well and I told him to get an ice pack three times and he kept coming back with a bag of frozen peas that were rock hard...I told him to go to his room too! That made him pretty mad but he went. Anyway, I have been trying not to ask for too much in case both of the boys were feeling like they had too much to do but really I feel like I take on most of the household responsibilities so IDK. 

I only slept 4 hours again. Woke up at 1:30 with terrible heartburn and starving and thinking so I got up to take of the hunger part and the thinking part. That sucks. I had slept pretty well for two days and was feeling pretty darn good about life again. Then after I did lie down and try to rest around 4, the baby started to kick and I realized quickly that he was breech again. He had been ROP for two days over the weekend and I was so hopeful. But then yesterday something changed. I couldn't tell what position he was in all day but it didn't feel the same. Now I know. Fooey! My 36 wk appt is tomorrow. Now I know our conversation will be much different than I had hoped. So I stayed up thinking about THAT too and the c/s that may follow. Darn it.

[Melany]

Good morning!

I asked hubby to fix our chiming clock without thinking of the implications of the chimes going off every 15 minutes. I end up on the couch most nights because it allows Pete a full nights sleep and it's a worn out couch that allows me to sleep with less pillows than I need in the bed. Not to mention, leaning against the back of the couch while I sleep has really helped my back. Anyway, the chiming clock is on the mantle and around midnight, after the 12 big dongs, it occurred to me that I should turn off the chimes, even though Pete had spent 2 hours trying to get them exactly on the hour. I guess this was one of those "be careful what you ask for" moments. SO, now I am exhausted.

[maydaymom10]

Thank you for all the potty training support. Of course after I wrote, DS let out the equivalent of Lake Michigan while eating dinner. Sweet boy tried to help me clean it up. We'll get there. We're hoping to get him into a Montessori soon, and the one we're looking at actually helps with potty training so maybe we'll get lucky. I might look into another potty too. As you can see by my profile pic, DS prefers the one he has as a hat.

melany - can you just take the chimes off the clock? We have a chiming clock in our kitchen & I got sick of the chimes years ago, so I just unscrewed the chiming part (it was some kind of coil). The clock still works and the hammer still tries to strike at the hour, but there's nothing for it to hit so it's much quieter. 

Question for the rest of you -- is anyone else finding that their round ligaments are getting pulled right now? And painfully "I just twisted my ankle" kind of pull? I've woken up twice now from pain of my ligament being pulled I think from the weight of my uterus as I sleep. And this is with a pillow. I was thinking about getting a pregnancy belt to help support it, although I think it's a little silly to buy one this late in the game. Thoughts?

Sleep was eh last night -- up every few hours to pee & such. DS & I are off to a tumbling class (for him, not me ). Hopefully I won't pass out on the mats. 

[Chapsie]

Originally Posted by maydaymom10 

Question for the rest of you -- is anyone else finding that their round ligaments are getting pulled right now? And painfully "I just twisted my ankle" kind of pull? I've woken up twice now from pain of my ligament being pulled I think from the weight of my uterus as I sleep. And this is with a pillow. I was thinking about getting a pregnancy belt to help support it, although I think it's a little silly to buy one this late in the game. Thoughts?

Yep, definitely PAINFUL ligament pain here, too.  I woke up a couple times last night in tears because it hurt so bad when I would roll over.  Honestly, I don't remember all this awfulness in my other pregnancies.  Maybe I'll forget all this bad stuff and only remember the good when this one is over, too.  :)   I have to wake up ahead of time and really hold my belly as I roll over to help not put too much pressure on the ligaments, but even then, they get pulled sometime.  It does feel like "I just twisted my ankle"-- that's a great description.

As far as a pregnancy support belt, you wouldn't want to wear that when sleeping, anyway, so it won't help with the sleeping issue.  I do occasionally wear a support belt when i'm at work to help with low back pain, but I don't find it really helps much with ligament pain and it feels tight and constrictive (it presses on my bladder, which is a big no-no at work when we're busy(i'm an RN) because I don't have time to pee!).  I can also tell that the baby doesn't like it much-- she can't move around freely when it is on so she just squirms and kicks a lot.  With that said, it does really help with back pain because it helps you remember good posture and it helps take the weight of your uterus and distribute it to your hips.  If you are on your feet a lot during the day, it may be useful to you for several hours at a time, but I can't imagine wearing it all day.  I had an almost 10 lb baby and polyhydramnios (extra amniotic fluid) in my last pregnancy, so my belly was gigantic and heavy and it did help a lot on particularly active days.  My midwife actually wrote a prescription for it and insurance paid for half of it (I got it at a surgical supply store.)  This is the one I use now and then:

http://www.centralsupports.com/softform-maternity-support-belt.html  but it looks like they have a similar one for $30 at BRU.  

[Chapsie]

Originally Posted by maydaymom10 

Sleep was eh last night -- up every few hours to pee & such. 

I had Bible Study last night and DH and I figured out at about 1am when we were both still wide awake that they accidentally served us regular coffee instead of the usual decaf.  ugh... It took sooooo long to fall asleep!  

On the plus side, we had a nice bedtime chat.  He is usually asleep as soon as he hits his pillow, so it was nice to have a partner in my insomnia for once!  :)  

[writermama12]

mayday, I have a support belt but I rarely use it because I have found that using a long wrap (like a moby, robozo, or woven wrap) works way better. It supports more weight and higher up on the back. You can wear it to bed too, just loosen it a little. It feels fabulous to walk in because it tucks the uterus in and up a bit. I found a youtube video of a wrap style that works well.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t1P_wOyvggc

[cabbitdancer]

My husband has been taking a couple of hours out of every weekend to work on cleaning out the guest bedroom which, for the past couple of years has just been a receptacle for everything we don't know what to do with... and he actually kicked me out of the room, this weekend, because the dust was aggravating my sinuses. It's nice to have a cleaning project that I don't have to head up for once. ;)

My daughter took forever to fully potty train. She's five, now, and she still has accidents. Lately, she's been doing a lot of sharting in her panties and it's very frustrating. A friend of mine says it's a sign of constipation. I told her she needs to be going EVERY DAY and she says she doesn't like to. So, here we go...

*hugs* writermama. I'm right there with you on the breech baby thing. I'm lucky in that I have an OB who actually let me begin the c-section (or what do we do if...) conversation, and I've been told that it isn't an issue until I hit 38 or 39 weeks, so the pressure isn't on from his side of things--yet. Still, it's very nerve-wracking not knowing whether the baby will turn in time or not (and, if she does turn, whether she'll STAY that way or not.) I have been doing EVERYTHING (short of anything that costs money) I can to get her to turn and she's being stubborn, just like her sister. My husband and I actually had the "what if" conversation, this weekend, and it was nice, both to have an idea of where he stands and to have him actually appear to give a... well, he's been very disconnected most of this pregnancy and it's been hard to deal with everything without him there as his usual pillar-of-support self.

[Chapsie]

Originally Posted by writermama12 

mayday, I have a support belt but I rarely use it because I have found that using a long wrap (like a moby, robozo, or woven wrap) works way better. It supports more weight and higher up on the back. You can wear it to bed too, just loosen it a little. It feels fabulous to walk in because it tucks the uterus in and up a bit. I found a youtube video of a wrap style that works well.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t1P_wOyvggc

thanks for sharing!  I lent out my wrap to a friend to use for her baby, but I may have to ask for it back so I can try this!  Especially for sleeping!  

[maydaymom10]

Originally Posted by writermama12 

mayday, I have a support belt but I rarely use it because I have found that using a long wrap (like a moby, robozo, or woven wrap) works way better. It supports more weight and higher up on the back. You can wear it to bed too, just loosen it a little. It feels fabulous to walk in because it tucks the uterus in and up a bit. I found a youtube video of a wrap style that works well.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t1P_wOyvggc

Thank you for this. I actually have a rebozo so I'll try this out. My midwives actually did something similar when I was in labor with DS because he was so low and was giving me constant pressure even between contractions. It was such a relief. I actually found a pregnancy belt on sale at the Motherhood Maternity outlet today, so I picked that up too. But, it's good to know that I shouldn't wear it at night. Also in my desperation, I got some Wishgarden Herbs "Sleepy Nights for Pregnancy" at the place where my son takes his tumbling class. I'm hoping it will help me relax & sleep a little better over the coming weeks.

[chocolatechip]

I know nothing about potty training, but good luck to all of you. The cheerios aim game sounds like the most fun. 

maydaymom, hooray for making it to 37 weeks and the home birth window! Even if the baby takes its time, I imagine it's a relief to know you're in the clear zone. I'm looking forward to getting there, but am glad it's still a few weeks off!

I've definitely been having round ligament pain again. Our bed has been great this whole pregnancy, but the last few nights I've spent some time with a thin pillow under my belly to support it, so it doesn't pull so much. And I've had some pretty painful moments after sneezing or coughing. At least after the whole first trimester, I understand what round ligaments ARE, so I wasn't freaked out when I started having those sharp crampy pains.

I got some sub-optimal news yesterday evening. I'd had my midwife take a swab at my appointment last week to check for a yeast infection, because I thought I might be getting one. It came back confirming my suspicions, which by yesterday I was pretty sure of anyway. So whatever, yeast, can handle it, not a huge deal. BUT, the test also caught that I tested positive for GBS.  I was planning to do that test anyway, but it was still kind of sad to discover that clearly my system is out of whack in a couple of different ways. I know that as far as conditions in pregnancy go, these are mild not-so-problematic ones, but still! My midwife recommended a naturopath that I will probably try to see soon. Sigh.

In happier news, my husband and I went out to a nice dinner in early celebration of Valentine's Day (he's leaving for work on Thursday). We were both kind of tired, but it was still nice to spend that full, non-distracted one-on-one time with each other.  It's a Mediterranean food restaurant, with lots of small plates and some entrees, so we had a tasty selection of things. I ate more starch than I should have, but wow was that thin crust wood-fired fig/pancetta/caramelized onion pizza delicious. 

[writermama12]

Had my 36 appt today (unexpectedly...I thought it was tomorrow). Many questions answered but unfortunately I kind of knew what she would say about baby's position and procedure already. Doesn't make my decisions any easier. But at least baby's head was down and she said pretty low. I am not getting my hopes up this time. He was transverse and breech just this morning. But if he doesn't move by my u/s scheduled for this Thursday, I will feel little better. Still, I have to make appt.s and talk to hospital staff and the on call OB for this month and come up with a plan. Good news is that my Birth Center will send a MW with me to the hospital to deliver me or act as doula in OR for C/s. That is nice. 

What isn't nice is that after a c/s, the nurses routinely take baby away to the nursery to evaluate and clean. I REALLY don't like that. My MW suggested I call and try to talk to the head nurse about my feelings to see if she would compromise. On the way home, I thought about what it would feel like to have my baby taken away and I cried all the way home. My first son was taken just to the other side of the room after birth to be weighed and pricked and cleaned and it was awful. I felt lost and alone and kept trying to look over to see my baby. It was the most unnatural feeling and I know if they do it to me again it could cause some seriously negative/PPD feelings. DS1 and I had a VERY hard time breastfeeding for a whole month and I only nursed him 4 months total. I feel so guilty about that and I feel like much of that bond and my feeling of total responsibility for him was stolen from me right after his birth. Anyway, I am pretty bummed this hospital isn't so mother-baby friendly. 

[Chapsie]

So happy to hear about all the early valentine's dinners!  My birthday is next week, so DH is taking me out then.  We got a babysitter and everything, haha.  That is a rare treat for us!  I need a babysitter once a week for work, so we never have the extra $$ for a sitter to come just so we can go out and have fun.  This is special. I am really looking forward to a fancy date with my man!!

I had a great MW appt today!   Everything looks great, and she told me how proud she is of me for taking such good care of myself during this pregnancy.  That made me feel so amazing.  I never remember my OB saying anything like that to me!  I am SO glad that we found our MW.  She has been so incredible.  

Baby has a lower resting heartrate, again... like 120s.  MW said she will be a super chill baby... maybe even a tomboy, haha.  Gained 25 lbs total so far at 35 weeks which is awesome for me (I gained 40 and 45 with the other kids) and I am measuring only one cm ahead, which is pretty good for me.  :)   MW said the baby has a really "skinny butt" haha, so maybe she won't be quite as big as her older siblings.  I am just so happy that everything looks so healthy!  This is a rainbow baby for us (after two losses) and I am getting really excited about meeting her!!!

[Chapsie]

Originally Posted by writermama12 

What isn't nice is that after a c/s, the nurses routinely take baby away to the nursery to evaluate and clean. I REALLY don't like that. My MW suggested I call and try to talk to the head nurse about my feelings to see if she would compromise. On the way home, I thought about what it would feel like to have my baby taken away and I cried all the way home. My first son was taken just to the other side of the room after birth to be weighed and pricked and cleaned and it was awful. I felt lost and alone and kept trying to look over to see my baby. It was the most unnatural feeling and I know if they do it to me again it could cause some seriously negative/PPD feelings. DS1 and I had a VERY hard time breastfeeding for a whole month and I only nursed him 4 months total. I feel so guilty about that and I feel like much of that bond and my feeling of total responsibility for him was stolen from me right after his birth. Anyway, I am pretty bummed this hospital isn't so mother-baby friendly. 

::HUG::!!!  I know what you mean about the unnatural feeling--  I had a really hard time with initial bonding with DS (after my c/s).  

Just keep telling everyone at the hospital that you desire "Non-separation" with your baby.  Just keep saying it over and over and make sure it is bolded in your birth plan!!!  Whenever anyone uses that word at my hospital, we don't even ask to take the baby away.  Baby just rooms in with mom all the time.

[sunshinelove]

My grey kitty just jumped up in my face and scared me, arrrgghhh!! Right as i was about to start typing on here lol. I'm blowing bubbles for her, my black kitty and DD, the cats get more into it than DD does lol.

Reading about people's experiences with potty training makes me grateful that i've practiced EC. I'm not trying to make anyone feel bad, just expressing the fact that i cant imagine having to teach them that so late. One thing that convinced me that ECing is the way to go is learning that the muscles that control peeing and pooping atrophy if you let babies and toddlers go in their diapers. So it becomes 20 times more difficult for them to get used to using those muscles. They have to both identify them and exercise them, which is hard since they never had to before. So if you get them used to paying attention to those muscles when their babies (which most babies do initially, its just that we're conditioned not to notice their signals for peeing and pooping) then their won't be a struggle to "potty train"--it will be a natural transition. Again, not trying to make anyone feel bad, this is just fascinating to me.

I am wonderin if we're going to have any Valentine's Day babies!! . That would be so cool if we did! My last DDC was the month of february so there was a few valentine's babies. Their moms dressed them up like little cupids and took pictures, they were so adorable