My 10yo ds sings in his school choir and we've been encouraged by his teacher and choir director to seek out a community choir for him to join. My ds is happy to do this so we've been checking them out. Yesterday, we went to a boys' choir audition and were really impressed by the singing and my kids enjoyed the audition.
The big red flag went up for me when the director said that parents are not allowed to chaperone on tours if there children are participating. They can't even "shadow" the tour, meaning we couldn't make our own arrangements so that we could see the performance. The rationale was that the children are more independent without their parents and it offers them that experience of independence which they rarely get. Also, they said that children behave differently when their parents aren't there, not implying good or bad behavior, but that the children get a unique experience without their parents. What you can do is chaperone with a choir your child is not singing with, so for us that might mean the high school choir. But my immediate thought was "why would I commit days away from my family to chaperone kids I don't know?". All of these choirs are expensive so it just feels like a lot to ask of parents to do this.
I guess I can understand all of that but it rubbed me the wrong way immediately and I'm checking in with all of you here to see if I'm being overly protective. I am not presuming that this director or anyone involved is a pedafile, but it seems like a setup for something to happen - you are intentionally separated from your children. I think if parents don't want to chaperone and want to give their children and independent experience, that seems great. But it seems like this should be a parental decision, not one for the choir director to make.