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Mothering › Groups › February 2013 Due Date Club › Discussions › I feel dissapointed that I didn't have a dragon baby and now I'm upset with myself for being dissapointed.

I feel dissapointed that I didn't have a dragon baby and now I'm upset with myself for being...

post #1 of 7
Thread Starter 

I "should" be happy right with a healthy baby no matter what sign.  I have a lot of mixed feelings right now and maybe it's just the hormones but I don't want to invalidate my feelings and I don't want to dwell on them too much.  Me and my partner are both monkeys and are really compatible with dragons and I missed my chance twice this past year to have a dragon baby.  We lost a baby in October that would have been due this past May and now all those feelings of loss are coming back.  I feel so confused, hurt and lost.  Mostly because I'm very happy that we are having a baby, this is my partners first baby and he is 44.  All of his neices and nephews are grown or almost grown so he is really happy to finally be having a baby.  

 

I guess I just need to be validated, heard and reassured that it doesn't matter that this baby isn't a dragon and that snakes are just as cool.   I have a snake daughter and she is the coolest and smartest kid I know.    Just trying to accept my atatchments and let them go at the same time.

 

And now I'm almost 41 weeks and been having prodromal labor for 3 weeks.  One of my other daughter was born on Feb 14 so maybe I'll have two valentines babies.

post #2 of 7
Thread Starter 

I forgot to mention that I was seeing an ob for back up prenatal care who was unaware of my intention to homebirth and she was pressuring since I was 37 weeks to come in for an induction.  So I did have many chances to "force" this baby out.  

I stopped going to her appointments after the last one on January 31 when she was really pushy with inducing because it was "convenient" for her solo practice.  

Ugh!!   I'm not that desperate!!

But I did have my mw strip my membranes and I took some cohosh tincture,  on friday.  It didn't work so I'm just trying really hard to accept and let go and just let this baby come when he's ready.  I'm not going to "do" anything else to try and make labor come.  I'm surprised the cohosh didn't work because I used the tincture which is supposed to be strong.  This baby is really telling me to chill out.    I hope I'm not putting any weird vibes or feelings onto this baby because that is really the last thing I want to do.

I just want this baby to be happy and healthy and fully developed.  

I just cant imagine now if I had delivered on January 18th when I had full on labor for 15 hours then it stopped,  thank god now. it seems he has more developing to do.

post #3 of 7
Just want to send hugs your way.... waiting is so hard..
post #4 of 7

hug2.gif. Your child will fit into your family no matter what! I don't know a ton about the Chinese zodiac, but I have been similarly obsessed with astrology for this baby. I take it with a grain of salt, but also sort of believe in it. I was relieved to avoided having a Capricorn boy (for whatever reason I don't get along with Cap men). I also avoided the Capricorn moon but now I only have a few more days before Aries moon sets in, and that wouldn't be ideal for me either! I know it sounds crazy haha. I think accepting attachments and letting them go is a good idea-- I've been trying to do the same! I'll also be 41 weeks tomorrow and it's so hard to wait. This is longest I've ever been pregnant and it's just weird to me that I haven't gone into labor yet. Patience!

post #5 of 7

Glad I wasn't there only one thinking about this, I wanted a Lucky Dragon baby so bad..... but it took 6 months till we were pregnant, and of course my baby is due 2 weeks after the new year. I feel like its Gods way of laughing at me, thinking I have it all in control. But of course He knows better then I. 

post #6 of 7

I've also been keeping an eye on the zodiac calendar because I would really like an Aquarius baby, and so would DH, but the cut off for that it around the 18th of Feb. I wouldn't say that I'm wedded to it, but I would be a little disappointed if she came after that window.

 

I'd say these babies are giving us all a lesson in relinquishing control.

post #7 of 7

I am a little nervous about having a Pisces!  My little girl was late and ended up being a Gemini which I generally am not too in synch with and I was really planning and looking forward to having a Taurus (like me) though now I see that maybe two taurus women in a house might have been a bit much.  I love Aquarius though, and in general don't love pisces that much and now I am again faced with not getting the sign I anticipated!  Oh well...maybe the universe is trying to tell me something..just not sure what yet. 

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