13 month old

[Bearsmomma]

I've been reading through here, and I thought I'd go ahead and just ask.

I talked with our pediatrician at our daughters one year check up and he just chuckled and wrote me off, but I think something is up with her. She is 13 months, her brother, who is 4 has a speech delay and she goes to therapy with us, and they are the ones who keep pointing out how abnormal she is, along with strangers and friends and family.

She was crawling and standing alone by 5 months, walking by 8 and climbing the full set of stairs. She is outstanding in her physical skills, she climbs everything, she can do one of those shape organizers, stack blocks, hold the crayon in a pinched hold to color (and she stays in the lines). She has been talking since she was 6 months. She doesn't throw many tantrums because she will say "I'm hungry" "I want a snack". She has an absurd amount of words, she tells us she wants to watch the wiggles, bubbles, if she can't reach something she says "I want down" and points to it. She brings you a book and says "book" "read it", etc. you get the point.  My sons speech therapist is always shocked when she comes with us and she hears her and said she's over a 2 year old level.

Is this considered 'gifted'? I have this fear I'm not doing ENOUGH for her, like maybe there's something more I could be doing, since she's so advanced in everything, but I didn't know if there where to start. It's like the polar opposite of what we went through with our son. With him, he was incredibly smart, but we knew his speech was behind and it took forever to get him to the right people, so I don't want to wait around and miss this window where I could be doing the most for her that I can. So any advice would be great.

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by Bearsmomma 

Is this considered 'gifted'?

"Gifted" means having an IQ above a certain threshold, usually 130. There is no way to measure the IQ of such a young child. IQs can't be reliably be measured until children are at least 6 or 7.

It sounds like your little one is very bright and is ahead of the curve in many areas.   Some gifted kids follow that pattern, but other gifted kids don't. One of my DDs had multiple system delays, and my other DD had a pretty typical development as a tot. Both test as gifted, and both are currently ahead of their peers in most academic subjects.

Although the speech therapist is over the moon about your DDs speech development, keep in mind that she spends ALL her time around children with speech delays -- kids who are older than her who are struggling with what she is learning. I work with special needs children in a school, and when I see what their age mates are doing, it totally blows me away. It's not because the age mates are doing particularly advanced things, but because I just don't see typical development every day.

"over the 2 year old level" could mean what is considered behind if kids aren't doing it at 2, not what is average for a child at 2.

She does sound very bright, and she may always find that language related learning comes easily.

Personally, I believe that all the same things that are good for ALL children's develop during the early years is what is best for gifted tots. Lots of conversation, interesting experiences, chances to explore their world, learning songs, etc. Just parenting

[Bearsmomma]

Thank you! She's probably just developing typically, and we aren't used to that since our son was behind. I get what you are saying about the speech therapist, that makes a lot of sense. She is just such an old soul and picks things up quickly. I even forget how young she is sometimes because of how, for lack of better word, mature she is. It's unreal. Thank you for the response, I was starting to think I should contact mensa. haha!

[Linda on the move]

Think she sounds like she's a head of the curve, but that you can relax a bit about it. Basic good parenting is still all she needs
 

One of my DDs always struck me as an old soul when she was a baby/toddler, and she just started college at 16 and tested into the honors program.

[domesticidyll]

I have an older inward one and a younger flashy one also, and in some ways (they are only 9 and 4, so take my advice for what it's worth) I am finding that the flashiness is a little easier to respond to--at least, there is less guesswork in finding how to let her pursue what she wants to pursue. She loves ballet--ok, we'll do a class. She loves to draw--ok, we'll buy reams of paper and keep her favorite pens in a jar by her table.

Enjoy her is probably the single most valuable piece, but for what it's worth, I also do think it's useful to read some about asynchronous development, so when your child is sending signals that something isn't working you can respond to the child's actual cues and not to whatever timetable she is supposed to be aligned to.

Heather

[andr09]

I heartily disagree with the prior comments.

Your daughter is exhibiting hallmark early signs of giftedness. I believe your instinct on this is right on. You are exactly right that you should be cognizant of this early on and at least be aware in the environment that you provide for her. If she goes to preschool investigate Montessori or gifted schools. Look to provide as much enrichment as you can. Read as much as you can about what it means to be a gifted child and what biases and difficulties they will face.

The good news for now is that normal supportive parenting is exactly what she needs. But absolutely treat this with all the seriousness of your son's challenges.

[moominmamma]

Originally Posted by andr09 

The good news for now is that normal supportive parenting is exactly what she needs. But absolutely treat this with all the seriousness of your son's challenges.

I'm having trouble reconciling your last two statements. Be a normal supportive parent, or get busy researching, maximizing enrichment and advocating?

As the parent of a PG 19-year-old, two other HG teens and a probably-PG-10-year-old, I can say from experience that there is really no point in trying to figure out the future, because the ground will shift and what seemed like the obvious future path two or three years ago will seem beside the point when the time comes, a new passion will spring up and life will take a new direction, social situations will change, holes will open up, new limitations or new needs will present themselves. I've found it far best to live in the now with my kids, looking no more than a year ahead with a young school-aged child, less with a preschooler or baby, no more than 2-3 years ahead with a teen. I have confidence that between myself and my kids we can work things out when the time comes. We certainly didn't need a gifted preschool to meet their needs!

Miranda

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by andr09 

I heartily disagree with the prior comments.

Your daughter is exhibiting hallmark early signs of giftedness. I believe your instinct on this is right on. You are exactly right that you should be cognizant of this early on and at least be aware in the environment that you provide for her. If she goes to preschool investigate Montessori or gifted schools. Look to provide as much enrichment as you can. Read as much as you can about what it means to be a gifted child and what biases and difficulties they will face.

The good news for now is that normal supportive parenting is exactly what she needs. But absolutely treat this with all the seriousness of your son's challenges.

I honestly don't understand what I've said that you "heartily disagree with."  I said she's a head of the curve, but that basic good parenting is all she needs. You said that the the mom should "be aware in the environment that you provide for her" and "provide as much enrichment as you can." Isn't that basic good parenting? Don't ALL kids need that?   Maybe we have very different ideas about what basic good parenting is.

As far as preschool, she won't be old enough for it for quite some time. Many parents on this board have been quite happy with play based preschools for their advanced kiddos. (my kids didn't attend preschool -- we did cool things just us, and hung out with friends)

The only thing you and I disagree on is how the mother should feel. I think she can relax -- you think she should be a bit hysterical. What value will that serve for her or her children?

Then you end with "treat this with all the seriousness of your son's challenges."  For many children with challenges, early intervention is key is helping them reach their full potential. They need MORE than "normal supportive parenting."  They need experts. Quite the opposite is true for toddlers who will eventually test as gifted. They just need regular life and mom at this stage. Eventually, they will need more. But not while they are still so young.

Your posts also implies that one of the OPers children is gifted and one is challenged -- but those kids are WAY to young to make such judgements. Siblings often end up with similar IQs. My DD who needed speech therapy and wasn't really talking until she was nearly 4 has a higher IQ than my chatting baby (whose IQ is also in the gifted range). You have a very narrow view of what "gifted" looks like. 

[KCMichigan]

I am going to agree with the majority of the posters.

Keep parenting as you would normally and follow (both your DC) lead. At that age, they will explore on their own and parents can simply foster curiosity and independence by talking, listening, and playing with their kiddos.

Also, keep in mind that personality plays into interaction a lot at that age. A very outgoing child will 'present' differently than a more laid-back child. It does not necessarily relate to cognitive abilities. But also-- at that age there is absolutely no reliable way to evaluate for giftedness.

I would also consider that there will always be some odd comparisons when you go to therapy/EI. Both my DDs had therapies and EI--in those environments it is  hyper focused in skill attainment (rightly so since that is the purpose of most of the therapies) so sometimes that can skew getting a more 'overall' viewpoint.

There is no window to miss or opportunity passed---at ages 1-5 just do what you normally would- learn through play!