41w 4d C section @ 41w 6d :(

[PJ7711]

Hi all, this is my first time posting online, and I don't really know how to navigate this site, but I am in need of serious support. My VBAC dreams are about to be crushed by my OB's "time limit" for "letting" women stay pregnant. They will not let women go past 42 weeks and since I am trying for a VBAC I can't be induced. According to today's US and NST my baby and placenta are strong and healthy. I am have been patiently waiting for spontaneous labor to happen and now it just seems like a lost cause. My first daughter was born via C section at 41w 4d after a failed induction (my cervix wasn't ripe when they decided to induce, simply because I was late). I feel frustrated with the system. I feel broken. I feel like I am failing because my body doesn't want to go into labor. I want to trust my body, but how am I supposed to when Dr.'s impose time limits? Now I am having a bunch of memories of the trauma I felt from my first C section and having serious anxiety. The guilt about having my hands strapped down and not being able to hold my baby when he comes out... People keep telling me I am lucky to be pregnant and to have a healthy toddler, and I do realize that, I just can't help these feelings are here. Please let me know if you can relate.

[Dakotacakes]

I can relate. I had an Emergency C section that really threw me for a loop because of the expectations I had about how birth would go. Try to empower yourself as much as possible. Many facilitites now offer woman centere c-sections where you are allowed to hold your baby immediately after birth and have skin to skin. You do not have to have your hands strapped down. I would start discussing that with your OB team as soon as possible. It may relieve some anxiety. Google woman center caesareans. Hopefully you will go into labor today and not have to face this.

[womenswisdom]

You have options. If you don't believe that a repeat cesarean in 2 days is in your best interests, you do *not* have to consent. Your provider cannot drop you as a patient at this point and the hospital must provide care when you show up in labor, by law. If *you* think induction/delivery is the best plan at this point, another option would be to have your water broken or have a Foley catheter in order to induce labor, which is not associated with the risks of prostaglandins or Pitocin and should not be a problem for your provider. The point is - this is your decision. They don't have the right to "let" you do anything. You are a competent adult who is allowed to make her own medical decisions.

[htcmom]

You do have rights! You don't have to consent to anything. If you just waited and showed up when you were in labor they are not going to turn you away.

[Sunflower223]

You do not have to give in to a cesarean! As others have said, you will eventually go into labor and cannot be turned away when that happens. If you do opt for a cesarean you still have rights, you do not have to be strapped down. You can create a baby-friendly, gentle cesarean plan. You have rights, do not be afraid to exercise them. The way you feel about yourself, about your birth experiences, is important and it matters.

[Earthmoma]

There is no reason you have to agree with your doc. Baby just isnt ready yet! I went over 42 weeks & as long as my tests showed baby was fine I wasnt worried. I knew that I also ovulated later in the month so who knows if baby was even really late. Id give it more time before you give into the doc. Be strong & know all that is really important is a healthy baby. Good luck

[Snapdragon]

you might get more responses if you post in the birth and beyond section. Just go to forums and scroll down until you see birth and beyond.

[PJ7711]

Thank you! My dr said that ACOG standards don't allow them to "let" women go past 42 weeks. He said he cold lose his license if i don't have the C section. I have waited this long, I would prefer to wait another week and give it a little more time. However, everything is in place now for the C section, my mother in law is in town to care for my toddler, my husband has the time off work. I spoke with my dr about being strapped down since I found that really frightening last time and he said it is up to the anesthesiologist at the hospital. I really feel like I can't not have the C section now, this just stinks. Do you have any other advice on how to make a C section more baby/ mother friendly? i have to go to Yale New Haven this morning to get pre-op blood work and procedures, i wonder if i can discuss the surgery with someone during that appointment. I have last exam at noon with my OB. If i am ripe enough they are willing to try a mild and controlled induction. Ie stripping membranes and a little pit. Maybe Foley catheter (had a horrible experience with that last time, turns out you cant get it up there is your cervix is closed... 4 dr's tried on me. I was quite the talk of L& D and a bit of a science experiment.. Needed to new sheets the bleeding was so bad). I am still hoping to go into spontaneous labor! Come on baby, you have about 30 hrs left!

[PJ7711]

I can't believe I have waited almost 2 weeks past my due date just to go in for a C section. It just seems unreal. I really have to believe that this is happening for a reason, that I tried as hard as a can for a VBAC and its time for me to accept that this is the plan for me, I am not a super religious person, but maybe God has a good reason for this and I just want to have a safe baby and I want to be here to raise my 19 month old daughter, at least this is what i have to tell myself to make peace with this. I can't sleep, so much anxiety about Friday. I doubt I have any change in my cervix, my mother never did until she was actually in labor. At this point, I just want it to be done, I feel like this is becoming a nightmare and torture. Since my due date has come I have felt "on the clock" and had growing anxiety. So emotionally drained, wake up crying every night, maybe the best thing is just to get it over with. Isn't that a horrible thing to say about the birth of your baby?

[womenswisdom]

First, ACOG is a professional trade organization and does not make licensing decisions. They issue professional recommendations based on research (sometimes) and (mostly) consensus opinion. Second, ACOG guidelines do not say that patients must be delivered at 42 weeks. They recommend delivery after 42 weeks, but that in no way supersedes your rights to make your own medical decisions and the doctor would not lose his license if you refuse induction. That is a straight up lie. You have the right to informed consent, which includes the right to informed refusal - otherwise it's not informed consent. The state medical board cannot revoke someone's license because a patient refused a recommended surgery. It's just not possible.

If you think that a cesarean is your best option (which, honestly, it does not sound like you really do), google gentle cesarean or mother-centered cesarean for ideas like immediate skin-to-skin and nursing in the OR, delayed cord clamping (3 minutes), no separation of mother and baby. However, you also need to consider why you are doing this. Is it for the convenience of everyone else or is it what you think is best for you and your baby? Are you planning on having more children? Do you know how difficult it is to find a provider who will take a patient planning a vba2c and what the increased risks are with a 3rd or more cesarean? All of these things need to be considered when making your decision. Stand up for yourself and do what you think is best, based on your evaluation of the benefits and risks, NOT what is easiest necessarily. Best of luck to you.

[Earthmoma]

You are right PJ- whatever is ment to happen will happen. Try not to stress out about it- the more relaxed you are the better :). Good luck with everything!

[trekkingirl]

I would be self inducing with castor oil. worked for my two VBAC's

[Greenlea]

You stressing out about this is making it worse and could be what is holding back your spontaneous labor. Relax. Know that you are in control of this birth, don't let the doc use scare tactics on you. Get some rest.  Give into giving birth and let go, the stress is not helping.

1st I would HIGHLY recommend you get in to see a chiropractor ASAP. They can do accupunture / accupressure to naturally induce.

Walk walk walk and sex sex sex. Have you done any natural induction techniques yet?  There is a pressure point between your thumb and index finger, apply pressure there for a little while.

Are you open to castor oil? If so, take 2oz mixed in a smoothie.  Wait 4-5 hrs, then take another 2 oz mixed in a smoothie. Castor oil inductions are not spontaneous.  You will have diarrhea 1st and may not go into labor until the next day.

Good luck!!