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Mothering › Groups › March 2013 Due Date Club › Discussions › *~*~*~* Spotlight on Chapsie!!!*~*~*~*

*~*~*~* Spotlight on Chapsie!!!*~*~*~*

post #1 of 21
Thread Starter 

Sorry I am late on this, Chapsie!!!

 

Ask away, ladies!!!

post #2 of 21
Thread Starter 

How did you meet you DH? :D

post #3 of 21
Thread Starter 

Do you have a Dream?  Do you and your DH have a joint dream/hopes for the future?  

post #4 of 21

Oh my!  Haha, I had totally forgotten about my spotlight day!  

 

Anyway... to answer your first question:

 

I met DH at a Bible Study in 2004.  He was there and I was there but I don't remember meeting him at all!  Apparently, though, I was pretty memorable, haha, and he took notice of me.  He thought I was "cute." 

 

Anyway... We had some mutual friends and so we crossed paths several times throughout the year.  I was dating another guy on-again-off-again at the time.  My DH is a musician and attended some of the same local shows that I would go to, and eventually I started recognizing him as "that guy that plays drums in that one band" and would nod and wave to him when I'd see him, but we never really talked with each other.  

 

Then, about a year after "meeting" for the first time, I went to one of his band's concerts in May 2005.  His sister came up to me at the show and was very friendly toward me.  She is the same age as me and we really hit if off.  She was/is married to the band's bass player.  I spent most of the night with her, and so after the show, she invited me to hang out with the band at McDonalds.  I talked to her most of the night, but DH (little did I know) was intently listening to our conversation and growing a deeper admiration for me.  He asked around for my email address and very boldly and honestly sent me an email a few days later telling me that he was intrigued by me and wanted to get to know me better, with the intention of "developing a romantic relationship."  haha.  I was so amazed (and flattered) that he was so clear with his intentions!  I wrote back rather positively and we had our first one-on-one hangout the next week at Niagara Falls.  We also went to the same university, so we met up for lunch a few times between classes.

 

DH was 5 years older than me (I was only 20 at the time) and I found him to be very mature and very different from any other guy I had been interested in.  Turns out, he grew up in Southeast Asia as the son of Christian missionaries.  He had a rock-solid Christian faith of his own, which, as a young Christian girl, was a HUGE deal for me.  His love for Jesus was SUPER attractive to me. (It helped, too, that he was very very good looking!!!)  After he had graduated high school, he moved back to Asia on his own and worked at the US embassy in Taipei, Taiwan.  He had a lot of independent "life experience" which was really different and exciting for me to get to know him better!

 

Well, about a week after our first date, I went away to work at a Christian summer camp as a teen counselor for 8 weeks.  I saw him maybe 2-3 times on the weekends that summer, and we wrote letters and talked on the phone occasionally.  When I came home from camp, I had exactly two weeks before I was moving to Orlando (from NY) to do a 6 month internship at Disney World.  I packed as much time with him as I could into those two weeks, and it was during this time that I realized that YEP!  I LOVED him.  I came home from a date and couldn't stop singing that song from South Pacific: "I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love with a wonderful guy!"  

 

When I was 16, I wrote out a list of 25 things that I wanted in an "ideal husband."  Silly things like brown hair and blue eyes.  I wanted him to be musically inclined, a Christian, wise with finances, independent, had to make me laugh.  I wanted him to have a good singing voice... a bunch of random things.  When I realized I loved Isaac, I found my old diary and read through my list and was SHOCKED (and delighted!) to find out that he met every single thing on that silly list!!  He really was my ideal future husband.

 

I mentioned my "husband-list" to him in passing, and hilariously, he shared that he had made a "wife list" in his journal as a teenager, too!  haha.  I apparently met all of his criteria as well.  :)   So, from early on in our relationship, we both began thinking "long-term."  

 

We officially became "boyfriend and girlfriend" the night before I left for Florida in August.  While I was gone, he spent time with my family and especially my parents and my mom and dad just loved him.  We dated long-distance for the next 4 months, and then he flew down with some friends to visit in November.  While there, he proposed!  

 

I came home from Florida in January and began a very busy semester of College, worked two jobs, and planned our wedding.  He was also very busy during this time, so we only saw each other for a few minutes every morning.  He would come to my house, knock on my bedroom window, and I would meet him on the front porch where we would drink our coffee (that he brought) together.  Those mornings together were so sweet and precious.  We got married in August 2006, and celebrated our one year dating anniversary on our honeymoon.  :)


Edited by Chapsie - 2/13/13 at 1:33pm
post #5 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by jodieanneanton View Post

Do you have a Dream?  Do you and your DH have a joint dream/hopes for the future?  

Well yes, actually!

 

As many of you know, I am an RN.  I have a bachelor's of science in nursing from a well respected university.  I have always been rather academically inclined (I was a huge nerd in college).  I never knew what I was going to do with my degree, but I always thought that I would eventually go to grad school to get an advanced practice degree of some type.  

 

I got my first job after graduation in labor and delivery and in a newborn nursery.  I was 7 months pregnant at the time.  My first birth really shook me up (that's a whole story in itself!) and I struggled with PPD afterward.  After having a beautiful natural VBAC 2 years later, I really felt that I MUST go to school one day to become a certified nurse midwife.  My personal and professional experiences in maternity care really brought me to this place where I felt that midwifery was most definitely my "calling."  I plan to go to grad school when my kids are a little older and I can devote more time to study.

 

My DH and I have a joint dream of becoming Christian missionaries together!  He grew up on the mission field and has always had a desire to minister to people of other cultures.  He is bilingual (English and Mandarin) and is very comfortable with Chinese culture.  (He went to Chinese school for kindergarten and first grade, so really, he learned to write in Mandarin before he learned English!).  When I was 12, I really felt a pull on my heart to serve overseas in missions one day, and that has always stuck with me.  I was REALLY excited when I found out that my DH had a similar dream.  I desire to serve in medical missions, and he has a background in business to help with more "behind the scenes" type work.  We have looked for various missions opportunities in the past, but after a lot of prayer, we realized that it just wasn't the right time or the right organization.  So... hopefully... God will make it clear to us when we are supposed to pack up and move out!  DH's dad and step mom are currently serving in Asia as missionaries, so we have family over there already, which makes it a little less scary of a proposition.  :)  

 

In the meantime, I am looking into serving in short term medical missions trips overseas.  It's tough to do with being pregnant and nursing continually for the past 5 years, but I'm pretty sure this is our last baby, so once she is weaned, I am excited to serve in this way!  There is a group of OB GYNs at the hospital that I work at that travel every year to third world nations and perform dozens(hundreds?) of gynecological surgeries and they have invited me to join them.  Maybe next year!  Also, my mother in law is an RN and travels to Columbia every year on medical missions, and I would love to join her, too!  

post #6 of 21

Here is our proposal story, as written by DH:  

 

 

For the week of November 11th, 2005, I went to visit Sigrid in Florida. She had been there since August and the depth of our relationship had escalated dramatically over the phone as we talked more than slept.
We arrived at the Orlando airport a little before 11 in the morning. My friends, who were looking to vacation in Florida, came with me and provided me with the propriety I felt I needed for the task ahead.


On the plane, gazing at the eastern states from far above, I wondered "how? when?"... Occasionally, I glanced at the ring I brought with me, knowing without a doubt that I wanted Sigrid to wear it. Time was limited; the environment -- unfamiliar. Oh, what to do...

But now we are in the airport, waiting for our luggage. Eleven minutes past eleven, I look up and the most beautiful smile I've ever seen comes walking towards me. The love of my life, in all her prettiness, headed my way. I forget why I'm there, what I'm doing, to breath, and blink… Our embrace is sweet and long awaited.


The rest of the day went splendidly without disappointment. Every moment left me more impressed with her. Finally, at the end of the day when one does things like brushing one's teeth, we were also doing this. At the dimly lit kitchen sink as we performed this mundane task of everyday life together, I was moved to propose. Sigrid had washed her make-up off and put in her retainer. She no longer wished to see me out of embarrassment. This however, was the Sigrid I wanted to marry-- the everyday, retainer-wearing Sigrid.

I scurried off to my room, plowed through my bag to find the ring where I had left it. I then took Sigrid to a seat on the sun porch (though, being night, it was dark). I knelt down and with more sincerity than I knew I had, I asked her to marry me. I was asked to repeat the question (a tradition of ours) and I gladly did. Her response was joyously positive and I put the ring on her finger.

It's official. We're getting married!

post #7 of 21
That is such a sweet engagement story from your DH! It sounds like the two of you are truly meant to be!

I wonder if we have any mutual WNY friends, haha. I was friends with some Christian musicians in high school - McClurg Family Singers/Adelaide. Also So Many Have Tried and some others that I cant think of the names of right now. That would be pretty crazy!

What are your hobbies outside of work and being a mom?
post #8 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by veganyogamomma View Post

That is such a sweet engagement story from your DH! It sounds like the two of you are truly meant to be!

I wonder if we have any mutual WNY friends, haha. I was friends with some Christian musicians in high school - McClurg Family Singers/Adelaide. Also So Many Have Tried and some others that I cant think of the names of right now. That would be pretty crazy!

What are your hobbies outside of work and being a mom?

YES!  We definitely do have mutual friends!  I know all those guys.  haha.  :)   What a small world.  :)  What high school did you go to?  

 

Hobbies outside of work and being a mom?  Haha, who has time for personal hobbies?  LOL.    I help lead our local MOPS group.  I play the flute.  I like to sing.  I enjoy sewing, and consider myself an intermediate sewer (not quite a novice, but far from an expert!).  I like to read, and my latest guilty pleasures have been found in the young adult fiction section of my library, lol.  Quick and easy reading but still fun.  

 

On the meyer's briggs temperament test, I always score out about 100% extroverted, haha, so I really draw my energy from being around other people.  I enjoy some down-time every now and then (hence the reading) but I would much rather be at some kind of social gathering!  My most favorite hobby would probably be getting to know someone new!


Edited by Chapsie - 2/13/13 at 1:02pm
post #9 of 21

I love getting to hear all the "how we met" stories. orngbiggrin.gif

 

I'm curious, since your husband is bilingual, do you speak in both languages to your kids? I always wished we could raise a kid bilingually, but neither my husband nor I have anywhere close to fluency in other languages. I dabbled in too many, and Italian (my strongest one) isn't exactly the most useful. smile.gif Either way, it will be an amazing experience for your kids to spend some time overseas, whenever it happens!

 

The medical missions sound pretty amazing. Any particular places you would be drawn to going, or is it mostly the service that draws you? I mean, clearly the service draws you, but I'm curious if there's any part of you thinking that it would be especially cool if you got to go to a particular place as part of it. smile.gif

 

Have you traveled out of the country before? Whether yes or no, where do you think you'd like to go, if you could go anywhere? And why?

 

It's awesome that your first real date was at Niagra Falls. And I love your husband's proposal story, especially "This is the Sigrid I wanted to marry - the everyday, retainer-wearing Sigrid." love.gif He's a keeper!

post #10 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chapsie View Post

YES!  We definitely do have mutual friends!   Chris and Anthony (from McClurg) used to be good friends of mine, and I dated the bass player from Elektromat (Chris H. from McClurg Family Singer's new band after they broke up) for about a year before I met my DH.  He now plays bass with some of the guys from Adelaide and This Day and Age that reformed to make The Reign of Kindo.  I know all those guys.  haha.  smile.gif   What a small world.  smile.gif  What high school did you go to?  

I went to Williamsville North. I dated a guy who went to Evangel my junior year, and then later very briefly dated Anthony. So you dated Jeff?! I know Joe from Reign of Kindo as well. Good guys. That's pretty funny!
post #11 of 21

Thankfully, I don't have to wear a retainer anymore!  orngbiggrin.gif

 

I would LOVE it if my husband spoke Mandarin at home.  I've always encouraged him to do it, but he feels really funny about it.  I mean... I would have no idea what he was saying.  My DH has spent 18 years of his life in Asia, but the last 7 years have been here in the states, so he doesn't use his language skills regularly anymore, and he says it takes an extra second to process his words before he speaks in mandarin, so it doesn't feel natural to him to use it at home.  I took Chinese lessons when we were newlyweds, but am so out of practice that I would need a HUGE refresher before I'd understand.  I do want to expose our kids to another language, though, while they are still young "sponges"!  

 

With medical missions, I think I would go anywhere!  I've always been one for "adventure."  Our church partners with a church and medical clinic in Haiti, and there are some physicians in my church that go there often, so that's a possibility.  My MIL travels to Columbia, South America every year.  The docs at our hospital usually go to Africa (this year it is Ghana).  Then, there's an organization called "Mercy Ships" that takes medical professionals on a ship to port towns around the world to give medical care.  That would be really cool.  This would all be short-term type stuff.

 

If we did any long-term missionary work, we would be most open to going to a Chinese-speaking population, because of my husband's language skills and familiarity with the culture.  But... really... it all depends on where God leads us!  We're pretty open to anything, I think.

 

When we were newlyweds, we traveled to Taiwan to visit my husband's friends.  It was AMAZING.  Total culture shock for me, but I LOVED it. It was tough, as an extrovert, to not be able to communicate with anyone, though.  We were able to take a few days in the south of the Island on the pacific ocean-- snorkeling, mountain climbing.  It was GORGEOUS (and very hot/humid!).  We also then spent a few days in the capital (Taipei) and did all the touristy things there.  I LOVED shopping in Taipei.  Everything was cute and cheap!  The saleslady laughed at me when I asked if she had any shoes in her shop that would fit my US Size 9 feet!  haha.  I would go back to visit in a heartbeat.  Too bad plane tickets are a grand each.  

 

Niagara Falls in only about a 10 minute drive from our house.  Our first date was just walking some nature trails near the park and then laying on the grass watching the stars near the falls.  Some Chinese tourists walked past us and commented on how cute we were while stargazing together, and my DH translated for me, haha.  That was how I first learned he was bilingual, lol.  

post #12 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by veganyogamomma View Post


I went to Williamsville North. I dated a guy who went to Evangel my junior year, and then later very briefly dated Anthony. So you dated Jeff?! I know Joe from Reign of Kindo as well. Good guys. That's pretty funny!

Yes, I dated Jeff!  But he's a great guy, and we are still good friends.  :)  

 

The church, Evangel, moved locations and the old building is now a pediatric urgent care center!  


Edited by Chapsie - 2/13/13 at 1:01pm
post #13 of 21

Veganyogamomma--  I just looked on FB and saw that we have 6 mutual friends.  :)  how funny.  :)  


Edited by Chapsie - 2/13/13 at 1:01pm
post #14 of 21

Chapsie, after working in labour & delivery, what surprised you about your own birthing experience?  I know it totally wasn't the one that you wanted - and I can relate to that! - but were there things you experienced that you'd never noticed, or seen in any of your patients, or were completely different than you'd thought?  And what was it like working in labour & delivery that close to your own first birth???

post #15 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by spughy View Post

Chapsie, after working in labour & delivery, what surprised you about your own birthing experience?  I know it totally wasn't the one that you wanted - and I can relate to that! - but were there things you experienced that you'd never noticed, or seen in any of your patients, or were completely different than you'd thought?  And what was it like working in labour & delivery that close to your own first birth???

 

Chapsie, after working in labour & delivery, what surprised you about your own birthing experience?

I was in no way, shape, or form, prepared for the manipulation that I experienced when I was forced into an immediate induction.  I had attended about 90 births by the time I delivered my first baby, and I knew one thing: I wanted a natural birth and I DID NOT WANT TO BE INDUCED!  (the inductions seemed very painful and intense to me).  I was about 4 days overdue and adamant that I would say no to my OB if she wanted to induce me.  So... I was totally overwhelmed and surprised by the tactics used for my "urgent induction."

 

I was in fetal testing for a BPP because I was 4 days past my EDD.  Baby looked awesome and I felt great.  The only problem in an otherwise perfect pregnancy was an amniotic fluid index level of 4.  This is technically considered "oligiohydramnios."  I was so confused-- my AFI was fine the week before in the office and I had absolutely no leaking of fluid.  How could it now be at a "dangerous" level?  I was told I had to be immediately escorted to L&D for induction.  I was horrified.  I didn't know why this was so urgent?  Afterward, in researching this, I know that isolated oligohydramnios in an otherwise uncomplicated pregnancy is not a good enough reason for induction.  D'oh!  Also... when my water broke in labor, my midwife commented that I was "Niagara Falls."  I had TONS of fluid!!!  So, it was obviously a false reading on the sonogram... which boils my blood!!!

 

Anyway... I begged them in fetal testing to let me go home to take a shower and get my hospital bag and do some research.  "No, you must go straight to L&D.  If anything happened to the baby, you'd blame yourself forever."  I asked them if I could sign out against medical advice (I realize now that I was technically not admitted yet, so I wouldn't have to "sign out" anyhow) and I was told "If you sign out AMA, insurance won't pay for your birth."  (I know now that this is false).  We were under a very tight financial budget at the time, so hitting us in the wallet was a LOW BLOW!!

 

I felt so hopeless and helpless at the time.  Totally stripped of my voice and all control over decision making.  This was what made the whole experience so traumatic for me.

 

I had the standard cervidil-pit induction with constant fetal monitoring and was NPO.  I was starving, crabby, and uncomfortable, going into the birth.  I tried so hard to remain positive, but it just wasn't happening.  

 

I did alright for a few hours until my water broke, and then the contractions were SO INTENSE I literally couldn't breathe.  I begged for an epidural.  The epidural was put in a bad spot (I had ringing in my ears and heart palpitations and a metal taste in my mouth) and it took about 45 minutes for them to fix it.  By then, I was just exhausted and wanted to rest... but now I was fully dilated and apparently, it was time to push!

 

I again, asked for them to let me rest for a bit, but the nurse said no.  I asked if I could push on my side, I was told no.  I asked if I could sit upright, because I had horrible heartburn from laying down to push, and I was told no.  I was so frustrated!  After three long and miserable hours of pushing, it was determined that the baby was OP.  After trying to manually rotate his head, the attending doc (did I mention that my OB never showed up?) called a stat c-section for fetal distress/failure to descend.

 

The anesthesiologist continued making me feel out of control-- my arms were strapped down and an O2 mask was put TIGHT against my face and he pinched the nose so tight that I couldn't breathe.  I told him I was nauseous, so he shoved an alcohol swab under my nostrils.  I begged him to take it away and he wouldn't.  I begged him to loosen the O2 mask and he wouldn't.  I was paralyzed on the OR table, strapped down, and nothing I said was being listened to.  It was so awful.  

 

When the baby came out, I had a hard time bonding.  I mentioned on here before, I actually blamed him for what had happened (which is so stupid and irrational, but I was a mess at that point!!).  

 

It was the lack of respect for me and not being able to make any of my own decisions that really affected the way I practice and treat my patients!  I had no idea it could be *that* upsetting for someone.  I didn't really understand what traumatic birth was until my own experience.  

 

I also never knew how uncomfortable a c/s could be.  I kind of just assumed that the mom wouldn't feel much... that was so not the case.  You don't feel sharp pain, but you feel all the tugging and pulling and ripping.  It was extremely unpleasant.  

 

I went on to have a lovely natural VBAC where all my preferences were respected, which is amazing, and totally different from my first birth!!!

 

And what was it like working in labour & delivery that close to your own first birth???

My first day in L&D, I took care of a mom who had just delivered her baby at 25 weeks.  And yep, I was 25 weeks pregnant.  It was a shock, really, to realize how things don't always go as planned.  I'll never forget that mama!

 

I also saw some really strong and amazing birthing women have really empowering and incredible natural births.  That was so exciting for me to witness!  And the bonding afterward-- the love hormones filling those rooms!  Oh, it was wonderfully exciting.  To know that that would be me, soon!  

 

I saw teenagers and drug addicts and very unhealthy moms have vaginal births and so I just assumed that I would have one, too.  I never really considered the possibility that I would have a cesarean!  I used to think cesarean sections were boring.  OH MAN!

 

It was fun to have the residents do sonograms of the baby when we were slow (which was not very often, haha).

 

I have a LOT of respect for L&D nurses from my short stint in L&D-- it is such a physical job (holding someone's leg for 3 hours while pushing is exhausting!) and it is 12 hour shifts... that is a long time to be on your feet.  My current job is only 8 hours which is much more manageable (but still exhausting!)

post #16 of 21

Wow, Chapsie, I'm so sorry that your 1st birth was like that. It was tough to read, so i know it was difficult to live through.

So glad you went on to have a wonderful VBAC and now the upcoming birth of this little one!

post #17 of 21
Thank you, Cocoa! I learned a lot from the experience, especially how to advocate for myself. This came in really handy during other times in the hospital (after my first miscarriage, I had a lot of complications greensad.gif)I don't know if I would have sought out midwifery care or other holistic health practices if I wasn't so let down by mainstream medicine the way that I was. So... As hard as it all was, I am glad it was part of my life story, and God worked it out for my good. smile.gif
post #18 of 21
Wow, your first birth sounds like it was pure torture greensad.gif. I know how painful it can be to be manipulated and have your power taken away, it can be really difficult to deal with. It sounds like you learned a lot from it, which is awesome smile.gif

Heres a question: what do you perceive as being your biggest strengths and weaknesses?
post #19 of 21
Thread Starter 

What will your children be doing while you are in labor this time around?

post #20 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by sunshinelove View Post

Heres a question: what do you perceive as being your biggest strengths and weaknesses?

 

Strength-- My friends have told me that I am very good at reading social situations and making other people feel comfortable.  They joke that they have to invite me to every party they have because I am sure to seek out and talk to the one person who tends to be left out or isolated.  I have a strong intuitive sense for other peoples' emotional needs.  I think this is one of the reasons why I went into nursing... too bad I don't have much time with each patient because we are so busy!  It makes me feel SO good and so fulfilled when I feel like I've really made a difference for somebody emotionally.  I love to encourage other people.  My personality type is labeled "inspirer" and that is what I strive to do!  (it can be draining for me at times, though!).  I also fancy myself to be generally fun to be around, haha.  

 

Weaknesses are also tied to my personality type.  I am an ENFP (meyers briggs), "Sanguine," "Idealist" (if any of those mean anything to you guys) which means that I can be very bubbly and talkative (which I'm sure you can kind of sense on here!  lol!).  This leads to a tendency to interrupt others at times, to seem "flaky" at times, to not be very scheduled (I like to "keep my options open").  For example, for a playdate, I'll say something like "oh, we should get together sometime next week... maybe next Monday?" and in my mind, it is just a suggestion or something we could do... to the friend, though, sometimes they take it as a concrete "we are meeting next Monday no matter what" and will get extremely annoyed at me for being "wishy washy" if I don't follow through.  It took a long time to figure out that this was a problem, but now I really work hard to communicate more clearly with those people!  Also, I don't naturally structure my day (to the outsider, I may appear very disorganized) and I tend to do things spontaneously without much prior planning.  I make decisions based on how I'm feeling rather than thinking.  There's nothing usually wrong with this, but I'm starting to see that my four year old son likes structure and can get frustrated with my spontaneity.  Trying to be a little more consistent in my parenting is something that I am working on, for his sake!  (My DD is a mini-me personality-wise, so even though she is a more "challenging" child in some ways, we understand each other and she is therefore easier to parent.  My DS is an awesome kid and very affectionate and loving, but he has a much different personality type from me, so I find it very stretching for me to mother him the way he needs to be mothered!)   

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