2nd, 3rd, 4th...time mothers. Will DH/partner go to prenatals with you? « Back to Group Discussions

[ciga]

I'll have to talk to DH about whether he wants to come to prenatals with me this time but I was just wondering about others people's experiences.  

DH came to 90% of my visits with my first but somehow it seems less important to me that he be there so much this time around.  I kind of think I'd be happy with him coming for that first heartbeat and the 18 wk ultrasound.   It just occured to me that maybe I should take him when I go for the info session with the midwives I'm considering.  hmmm.

[Serenyd]

I will probably have him come for the ultrasounds at least. Otherwise it makes more sense for him to stay home with the other kids. 

[HappiLeigh]

DH following me to prenatal appointments would have driven me stark raving made with #1, #2 or this one.

I think he came to the gender ultrasound with #2? He didn't with #1; I just phoned. I'll let him come to the gender ultrasound this time if he wants to. We're big on divide on conquer--he does his stuff well, I do mine, but we get itchy if we start to feel like the other is in our business. I mean, he'll be there for the birth, but growing the baby falls in my camp.

[3Octand1Apr]

This is our 4th and I would say DH has probably been to 4 appointments total. He really can't help it though. He can't leave work. Along the same lines though, what do you all do with your other children during your appointments? I have 3 now, and that can get a little cramped in those tiny rooms. With my last preg I just took my little ones with me most of the time, but now that is not going to be an option. We have no family nearby so it looks like I will be finding a sitter every time I have to go for an appointment.

[revolting]

This will (knock on wood) be our third kid. My partner went to one prenatal for our first kid, none for our second (nor did he watch our kid during any of the prenatal appointments), so I'm guessing he won't come to any this time. Honestly, I have no desire to have him there. I'd be a much bigger fan of him watching our kids during prenatals, but I doubt that will happen either.
 

[John16n33]

Not the first half of the pregnancy at least since I am in Texas and he is in Hawaii.  He might go to a few during the 2nd half, but I doubt it.

[averil rose]

My midwife often comes to our house for prenatal appointments, and my DH is usually at work, understandably. If it weren't for work, he'd love to be there. :) 

[pauletoy]

This is our 5th. Dh will probably go to our anatomy ultrasound but that's it. Fine by me. Our 3 oldest go to public school and our 4 year old does Mother's Day Out. I do appointments during those times.

[jenger]

This will be (pending sticky baby!) our 2nd and my husband will likely come to most all of the appointments.  I'm sure there will be one or 2 he'll miss, but otherwise it's team effort.

[lc81002]

My husband was supposed to be deployed last week, but they canceled it at the very last second. So we weren't planning on him being able to go to any of my appointments, but it happens to be that my first appointment is on President's Day (Monday) and he will be off, so he will go with me for that. I'll probably also schedule a 3D ultrasound to find out the sex around 16 weeks (at a "just for fun" type ultrasound place, not a doctor visit) and he'll go with me for that, but I don't expect him to go to my regular appointments other than that.

[DanielleNZ]

My dh works very long hours, so has never been to my antenatal appointments, he comes to ultrasounds but not my monthly midwife meets. 

[gray]

My husband came to probably 90% first time around, 50% second time around, and will hopefully make it to a few this time. He wants to be there and is super involved in all things kid, pregnancy, and birth related. But then, I've been a Bradley Method instructor, so I suppose this isn't a surprise!

[kitty waltz]

I always choose to have unassisted pregnancies, and I do my prenatal appointments myself.  I monitor and chart all the same things a midwife does.  My husband will probably like me to do the appointments when he is present when it gets to the point that we can hear the baby's heartbeat, and feel movement.  Until then he hardly feigns an interest, lol.

[eloise24]

I'll go by myself . . . DH has been through this routine 2x and went to several appointments with the midwife, the first time around.  I enjoy the chance to get out of the house ALONE and there is no way I could enjoy sitting and talking with the midwife if I had the kids along with me.  He'll probably come to the mid-point ultrasound, but I've also considered going alone and then baking treats to surprise the kids and him with gender.  Guess I have a while to decide on that though :)

[karalynnskies]

My dh came to almost every appointment with our first. This time around he has a new job and he probably won't be able to come to very many. He is really bummed about it. I am hoping he can at least make the ultrasound appointments.

[suzie mccool]

When I was pregnant the first time, my ex was pretty uninvolved (and stayed that way..) he even went to the Vans Warped Tour half way through my labour, then came back after... In the end, it worked out better, because there was no question of custody when we split up lol

This time round, my better DH has already been to every IVF appointment, and given that he has already wrapped me in cotton wool, I daresay I will be escorted to any appointments!  So happy that he wants to be so involved, he is my best friend and we do everything together anyway.  We're lucky we own our business, so getting time off together is no problem :)

[Shiloh]

No clue. DP went to all of my loss appointments. He's been to none this preg. I'm not sure I even want his in denial nonsupportive self there. Maybe he will come around, if not he won't.

[echospiritwarrior]

My DH hasn't been to a single appt. or anatomy scan since our first. I had a GF go with me for the second (scan) and my MIL for the third (scan). Now that hubby works in Austin he may attend the scan this time if he can break away from work.

Honestly, my husband knows our midwives already so I like the calm quiet woman/child care/time

[daisycleo]

My hubby only came to one appointment with our first.  Honestly, I prefer not to have him there.  I can get in, get out and get on with my day that way :)

[littlebird108]

My husband has been to almost all of my appointments for the last five, but with our midwife an hour and half away, not doing weekend appointments, and our schedules different now, I don't figure on him coming to them all.  I want him at the first one in March, then just a few more, whatever feels right.  He does have to be there if I'm giving any blood, because I really hate doing that.