I know this is probably the billionth time this has been posted and I did a little forum research but need more help specific to my situation. The baby is six months old, he's my third. All three children were born at home and it seemed natural to cosleep. However, I am a light sleeper and need SPACE in bed so after a year with my first dd (who is now 8 years old), we put her in her own crib in her own room (not as easy as it sounds all written out there - ha). My second dd was merged to a crib across the room from our bed after about four-five months. She was my non-sleeper and I swear she didn't sleep until she was two years old (she's now 3). The baby still cosleeps.
With my first dd, we were able to put her down in the bed eventually and then we could have sex in a different part of the house. It worked similarly with my second dd although I couldn't leave the room or she would wake up so we'd lay her down on the bed and then have sex on the floor of the bedroom (quickly). Now my son is 6 months old and we're having issues figuring out when/where to have sex. He falls asleep in our arms and then has to be held until we go to bed or he'll wake up within a few minutes. Once he's in bed with me, he'll sleep just fine.
I know the obvious thing is to just have sex with him next to us in bed once he settles down and my partner can do this with no problem, but I really struggle with the mental leap necessary to do this. I spend all day nursing and holding him along with the three year old who still needs me quite a bit and the baby's presence in the bed when we're trying to get romantic is almost impossible. Plus I am constantly on high alert over him waking up while we're in the middle of it. We've had actual sex exactly once since he was born although we've done other stuff here and there. Part of the problem is maybe that I'm just not that motivated - my sex drive isn't too strong right now, especially after a long day, but I know it's important and I do miss the closeness.
So do I start trying to "train" him to sleep alone? I hate the thought of feeling "forced" to do this because he's just so damn sweet and this is the first time (out of my three children) that the actual sleeping part is working. I know and my dp knows this is temporary and time will fly but I don't want to discount the present.