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My time here is done

post #1 of 29
Thread Starter 

Unfortunately, I got the bad news that baby's heartbeat stopped at some point and baby stopped growing at around 8 weeks since LMP; I was going to be 9 weeks tomorrow. According to my doctor, I will need a D&C since it appears my body is still chugging along the pregnancy path.  I think I am more devastated about the news than my husband who said it's okay and that we can try again when I am ready. 

 

Best of luck on your pregnancies and hope to be on the boards again in the near or distant future. 

post #2 of 29
I am so sorry for your loss.
post #3 of 29

I'm really sorry.
 

post #4 of 29
I'm so sorry. I just miscarried Tuesday and I would have been 9 weeks Wednesday. Take care of yourself. Can you hold off on the d and c maybe a week and see if it'll come on It's own? My baby was only measurring 6 weeks.
post #5 of 29

so sorry for your loss.

post #6 of 29

i'm sorry, prairiedawn. take care. grouphug.gif

post #7 of 29
I'm sorry to hear it. Take good care, may you recover quickly.
post #8 of 29
So sorry to hear it greensad.gif
post #9 of 29

So sorry for your loss PrairieDawn. 

post #10 of 29
I'm so sorry. I got the exact same news myself yesterday. No heartbeat and like you my body hasn't realized the loss yet. The baby stopped growing at 8 weeks. My d&c isnt until next week.

May those of us with losses take gentle care and heal. Best wishes to the rest of the ladies here for healthy happy pregnancies. Xx
post #11 of 29

So, so sorry to hear of your losses, PrairieDawn and OtherSoul. Be gentle to yourselves. greensad.gif

post #12 of 29

I just experienced a natural miscarriage myself last week, the day before 9 weeks (this was my first pregnancy).  I went in for an u/s after spotting, just hours before the miscarriage occurred, and the baby was measuring 6 weeks.  People, this is the BIGGEST reason that we should not be doing routine 1st trimester u/s scans.  It greatly increases the rate of D & C, which is terrible for the uterus, and puts us in the unnatural emotional position of knowing the pregnancy is over, but the miscarriage process hasn't begun yet.  THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THE MISCARRAIGE PROCESS TAKING WEEKS TO  BEGIN.  It is the natural way of things, and is actually a sign that other than a genetic issue, the pregnancy was actually very healthy, high progesterone, high hcg, well implanted placenta, etc, etc.  I am so thankful that I did not have a routine scan in early pregnancy, and that I ONLY went in when there was medical indication instead, and therefore got to experience a natural miscarriage in the privacy of my own home.  Perhaps I'll post my full story in the next few days once its edited.  I urge you to suggest the same to your friends who go through this devastating experience.  Just like birth, miscarriage is a natural process, that should be trusted.  Interrupting of short changing the process only causes longer term physical and emotional damage.  I won't even start about all the women I've met through my midwifery apprenticeship who were told the pregnancy was over, only to find the next week that the heart was beating and all was well.  Ultrasounds are not infallible, and are not a part of the natural process.  We need to reclaim the knowledge we have as women around miscarriage so that it can also be honored and supported when it does sadly occur, rather than handing over our power to doctors.

post #13 of 29
So sorry for your loss. I hope your bodies and hearts heal quickly.
post #14 of 29

I'm so very sorry.

post #15 of 29

I am so sorry- I also suffered a loss at 7 weeks 6 days (estimated) with my last pregnancy.  However, I didn't have any scans and had a natural miscarriage at home.  It took exactly one more month for the umbilical cord to come out, but I conceived again about 15 days after it did come out.

 

It is possible to wait it out and not suffer the additional trauma of gynecological surgery.  Then again, maybe it would be traumatic for you to continue on as pregnant.  Ultrasounds are very often wrong at such an early date.  I don't think a heartbeat can be seen before 6.5 weeks, so if your date is even off by a few days, you could be aborting a wanted baby accidentally.

 

Regardless, know your options and don't feel rushed. 

 

Hugs...

A

post #16 of 29

So sorry to hear about those experiencing losses.  grouphug.gif

  

I agree with the PPs who've pointed out that a D&C is not always necessary.  Instrumentation to the uterus is not without consequences.  However, each needs to make her own decision based on careful consideration and information gathering.  Most of the time, it's not any sort of emergency, and you can take time to consider. 

Sending best wishes for gentle healing. 

post #17 of 29
I had a missed miscarriage with my last pregnancy, also, and decided to wait to miscarry naturally. About two weeks went by after the us before I began to MC, and the us had shown that baby stopped growing a couple of weeks earlier. I ended up with hemmorhaging, lots of blood loss, an emergency D&C, and an overnight stay in the hospital. I was informed afterward that if much time passes between fetal demise and miscarriage, the tissues can become "sticky" and difficult for the body to expel, thus increasing the risk of complications. Had I known this, I would have considered D&C sooner. Maybe not immediately, but probably after a week... Anyway, just thought I'd add my experience in case it helps.

Hugs and healing thoughts to you.
post #18 of 29

That is incorrect information Jennyanddots.  The tissue does not "become sticky".  It actually is much safer in some circumstances, because the gestational sac then has time to gently move towards the os before the miscarriage process begins, and all the tissue is right there waiting to be expelled quickly and efficiently.  Under normally functioning hormonal circumstances, and with some knowledge (that should be common, although it currently isn't), a miscarriage can happen at home, safely, just like a live birth can, with appropriate transport for medical need as it occurs.  There are times when a D & C is needed, but it should be incredibly rare.  The definition of hemorrhage is also controversial (not saying that you didn't experience this), but a true hemorrhage and resulting anemia should also be incredibly rare.

post #19 of 29
I'm sorry, but I think it's wildly inappropriate to turn this thread into a discussion/debate over how to manage pregnancy loss.
post #20 of 29

I agree. To each their own.

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