Weekly Chat for 2/15-2/21 - Page 2 « Back to Group Discussions

[oregon2010]

I was having some cramping, pretty consistently so my midwives had me come in on Friday and I got to hear the baby again, which was such a relief.  Heart rate was in the 140's/150's.  I am so convinced this is a boy now! Am I the only one who has not had the testing done whether it was a NT scan or the Matern (not sure how you spell it)?  I am 33, did not get any testing done with my DD but it seems everyone has been getting results back...

My blood pressure remains in the 120's/70's which for me is GOOD.  I am getting a massage tomorrow, a very special treat. 

Feeling better each day (starving all the time now) and anxious for spring so I can be outside more!

How is everyone else doing?

[LeighPF]

The only testing I have done was blood type, because I am Rh negative and if baby is too I can skip the painful RohGam shots (no such luck). I skip everything but the 20 week anatomy scan.

Baby had a 140s heart beat last week, so perhaps I have a boy two.

I am so hungry too. And tired, but today the kids not so much, so no lying down for me.

[Banana731]

I don't do any tests routinely either. I go out for a pretty low tech approach.

I havent even heard the heartbeat yet (though mw has tried!)

[CrunchyMama19]

I don't do any testing either except the 20 week ultrasound. I also like the low-tech route. I have heard the old wive's tale about heartbeat and gender but I can't remember which way it goes. My baby's was in the 150s at my appointment  last week.

I have been feeling better too lately, less tired for sure (but still wear out easily). I usually eat vegetarian but had been craving meat.I talked to my midwives and although my iron levels were fine we also looked at my protein intake and I wasn't getting nearly what I should (despite lots beans, tofu, and whole grains). They said maybe I should listen to my body since I am not vegetarian for ethical reasons, but more for health reasons. So I went ahead and listened to my body and added a little meat back in and I wonder if that is why I am feeling better this week and not nearly as tired. My runs have been better too. I know lots of people are successful vegetarian and even vegan while pregnant but for some reason it doesn't seem to agree with my body. This happened last pregnancy too! I must say, DD1 is thrilled, she is a bit of a carnivore.

[FarmerCathy]

Hey Ladies,

Met with the back-up doula yesterday and I think she is who I'm going with.  The other doula was fine either way since she has a lot going on in her life around the time of my due date.  The one I just met has a commitment mid-August, but hopefully this will be a 39 weeker like my 1st two and come the end of July.  I really like this doula, she seemed kind of nervous since I'm her first birth she is attending since her doula training, but she used to apprentice with a midwife and she worked as a labor delivery nurse for  a while and she has 4 kids, so she does have a lot of experience.  She does want to meet my OB as well so she is familiar with him.  I called my OB's nurse and she was so accommodating and said I could bring whomever I liked.  I love the new OB and staff I'm going with, its like they are on happy pills.  It's great!  My endo nurses are great too even though they don't like that I don't eat enough carbs by their standards, but I was talking to dh about it and really what it comes down to is they are so used to people being on such a nutrient deficient diet that people have to eat a lot of carbs to get some nutrients.  So the fact that I save my calories for fruits, veggies, fat and protein mainly worries them.  So it makes sense.  In their field they aren't used to people eating so well. 

I wish we could go ahead and move.  We are looking at a good potential house this weekend and hope we can put an offer down soon.  The house is a short sale and will take 2-3 months to process, so were hoping we can put an offer down before we get a pre-approval.  We are waiting for some gift money for our down payment and part of our closing costs and hope that that will put us in good standing with getting a loan, we just paid a big chunk of our credit cards off too with our tax return. I so want to move in May when I still have energy to unpack.

[somegirl99]

I am taking a beating from this cold!  Doesn't help that DS had 2 super rough nights in a row and I am sleep deprived.  Thankfully he seems to be doing much better tonight.  He napped late and had a late bedtime so here I am still up finishing up dinner and rehydrating myself.

As far as the testing, I was leaning towards just doing the anatomy scan, but then DH said he was for the testing, and the CNM's recommended it to at my age (41).

CrunchyMama, I am vegan and was for my last pregnancy too.  Since the last one I had to give up gluten and soy, so it's even more of a challenge this time.  If my body gets a craving for some kind of meat I will listen to it, I figure cravings are usually there for a reason.  However I still find it quite distasteful (I'm exposed to it quite a bit because DH and DS eat meat and I have to serve it to DS).  I'm not quite ready to force it on myself.  We'll see....

Cathy, glad to hear you have settled on a doula and an OB you like.  Sounds great!  Good luck with the house offer.

[cardigan]

Crunchy & Somegirl: I eat like a vegetarian (cook veggie at home, but eat meat occasionally). I've found since preg, I have occasional meat cravings (hello chorizo tacos, and I inhaled ribs before we found I was preg). But overall, I'm even less interested in meat n fish than normal. I'm worried about my protein intake, but imagine, should I be lacking, cravings will kick in.

[thecoffeebean]

I'm usually a pescatarian, but I've been eating beef for the past month or so. I craved it so intensely at the end of the first trimester! Now I just like it. :-) I'm trying to stay away from anything factory-farmed and not local, because when I eat cheap beef I feel really sluggish and tired. I don't know what that's all about!

[Calladona]

My girls were usually in the 140s/150s.  My boy was usually more like 120 - at the end, often lower (midwife was concerned, but he always checked out fine on the NST).  I think my babies tend to have lower HRs...

 

We didn't get a HR at my appointment - my kids were being way too loud and the new baby was hiding.  We caught the bump bump very briefly and that was enough for us to feel comfortable everything was ok. ;)

 

oregon2010, I haven't had any testing yet either (except blood tests).  I won't get anything until the 20 week ultrasound.

 

I am so tired all the time.  My Vitamin D is low, so that's probably contributing.  My iron looked a little low too.  So double whammy.

 

I am leaning on not getting a doula this time after all...  I really need to sit down and have a heart to heart with my DH about how things went last time.  I felt he wasn't as supportive as he could've been.  I think maybe I'm unfairly blaming him in my head for how *I* coped in labor.  But maybe if I talk to him about it and we commit together to doing some birth prep, we will both feel better about the outcome. I'll be honest, I'm cheap and I really hate spending the money on a doula.  On the flip side, I feel guilty hiring a low cost doula because I know they really work for their money, especially since I am likely to call her in a few times before the "real deal" since I tend towards lots of prodromal labor and then fast "active labor".  And I keep going back to the question of how much a doula could do for me in the short time that she'd be with me... :(

[Banana731]

Calladona- IME, different women need different kinds of support in labor. some spouses just aren't able to provide the specifc type of support that their partner needs, and it's not that the spouse's presence and and the support they can give isn't important or helpful, it's just that mom needs a something in addition to it. My clients who have recognized this with acceptance and made it clear to me ("dp is my rock, but he's the strong silent type and I need someone to tell me it's okay," "dp is a get things done guy, but he's squeamish about seeing me in pain," "dp is super present and supportive, but he gets flustered easily and doesnt know what to do or where to go," etc) so I could help fill in the missing parts or provide gentle guidance to a nervous but willing partner, have been super happy with the support they received from their partner in the end, in spite of needing more.

So if you feel that may be the case with your dh, try to look at the money you have to spend as not just something to help you in labor for a short time, but something that can help you feel better about the support you get from your DH as well. That's huge, right? You still have left over feelings about it even now.

And I would also say that if you are just unable to get past the fee, look for someone who is certifying and charging less, and don't feel bad. Even if you feel you are demanding and a PIA , it's good for a newer doula to experience that too. She can learn a lot from difficult clients. Every person I have helped has taught me something valuable.

I hope I didn't offend there! Written communication can come off as harsher then it's meant to be. And that wasn't meant to harsh or judgemental in any way

[carmen358]

crunchymama, I was vegetarian for years before pregnant with DD and then I was seriously craving meat protein....so I listened to my body. My DP and DD and vegetarian though so I don't eat meat at home but I do have chicken or salmon when I do eat out once a week at work. I will likely go back to vegetarian diet after this pregnancy...I prefer it.

FarmerCathy, good to hear you found a doula you like! I was a bit disappointed to find out my doula works in partnership with another doula (who I haven't met)....more than a back up thing. I think we'll still go with them but not 100% sure. I really valued my experience with having a doula at my first birth...I'm not sure I would have stayed home to birth had I not been reassured by her that I was doing great and was safe. Hmmm I didn't think about the unpacking thing...thanks for reminding about that part! I was just hoping to be moved in my July 1 but I think June 1 would be better!!

[oregon2010]

Yeah, I don't really believe the heart rate predicts the sex but its fun to guess! My midwives just told me my Vitamin D levels were the highest they have seen this season.  Shocking because I live in the Pacific Northwest.  Guess my supplementation has helped! Glad everyone is doing well and adjusting to what your body needs.  I am ready to start exercising soon again and I have an appetite so that just feels great.  I already forget what the last 7 weeks have been like ;)

[greentoubab]

As of Sunday the 17th I'm officially in the 2nd trimester and now feel comfortable traveling for work again -- I'm in Honduras this week, which has certainly kept my mind off of pregnancy a fair amount!

Oregon, I was also looking forward to getting back to exercise after the first trimester.  I was really looking forward to using the nice gym in this hotel each morning, but the last two mornings something wasn't right and I had a bit of stomach something (nausea/discomfort/something? not sure) after working out, so today I just did some yoga and stretching in my room and that seemed to be better, though my stomach still felt a bit crampy.  

In terms of diet, I'm usually pretty vegetarian but have been trying to eat more chicken and fish just to be sure I'm getting enough protein.  The problem here in Honduras is I feel like I'm not getting enough veggies since I'm eating hotel and restaurant food and the menus are pretty meaty.  Salads seem plentiful enough, but since I accidentally let my typhoid vaccine expire last year and thus am not currently vaccinated I'm trying to stay away from the raw stuff.  Probably totally unnecessary but...with all we've gone through with IVF I feel like I shouldn't take any unnecessary risks!

[Calladona]

Banana, that's true...  I dunno, I think my DH COULD be more supportive, but I think I didn't do a good job of having us practice ahead of time (long story, but this is the first birth he was actually AT of all our children and the last time he really did any childbirth prep was before our first was born).  And I also did NOT communicate that I needed him in labor.  I didn't help him help me.  He shouldn't have to be a mind-reader, I think it was just me being too proud to ask for help before I was desperate and then when I was desperate, I could no longer communicate it. :(

 

A big part of my stress last time was the stress of having to know when labor was "real" and when to call the sitter.  I was really stressed about having to pay the sitter if I wasn't really in labor.  And even a "cheap" doula is still a lot more than we paid for our sitter! So I'm honestly afraid that hiring a doula might ADD to my stress. :(  Hope that makes sense!  I just really need to sit down and talk it out with my DH...

 

oregon, what kind of supplementation do you do to help with your D levels?  I really need to figure out how to up mine. :)

[oregon2010]

calladona--I have been taking about 5000-6000 IU of Vitamin D per day.  I take raw Vitamin D by Garden for Life and then I get 1000 from my prenatals and 2000 from my servings of fish oil. 

[Banana731]

Originally Posted by Calladona 

Banana, that's true...  I dunno, I think my DH COULD be more supportive, but I think I didn't do a good job of having us practice ahead of time (long story, but this is the first birth he was actually AT of all our children and the last time he really did any childbirth prep was before our first was born).  And I also did NOT communicate that I needed him in labor.  I didn't help him help me.  He shouldn't have to be a mind-reader, I think it was just me being too proud to ask for help before I was desperate and then when I was desperate, I could no longer communicate it.
 

You know your DH! I should have clarified, if both you and he think that he can do better, I'm sure he can. Many partners are crazy out of this world supportive during birth, when they know what to do (my dh is one off those <3 ). My thoughts were more about if you end up worried that he's going to have a difficult time getting there If he reads, ask him to read the "The Birth Partner" by Penny Simkin. It's great for support people.

Carmen- does your doula work with the Partner during Births? Like you get 2, or you just get who is on call?

Welcome to the 2nd tri, Green!

A long time ago, Quantam Leap posted a link to an online yoga teacher where you could sign up for classes. Does anyone have that link?

[ESPMadre]

Coffeebean,

Empathizing with you about your kitty.  We lost two kitties not long after the birth of my first son.  When I went into labor my husband ran downstairs in the dark and accidentally kicked our oldest cat - this did not kill her, thank you God.  He called the vet and the vet said that even though she had blood in her urine after the kick, to concentrate on me.  I do wish we had taken her in because we might have learned then that her cancer had come back.  I still regret missing out on some hugging time with her because I was, of course and naturally, absorbed by being a new mom to my beautiful boy.  If I had known she was sick again, I would have made more space for her.  She died about 6 months later.  Then we lost another cat to cancer again.  This time horrible jaw cancer.  We put her down when her quality of life and pain became too bad.  We finally lost our last kitty when she was 18 years old last year to old age.  We now have no pets.  I can't bear it yet.  We will get a dog at some point and probably end up with another cat but not for a few years.  It is such a heart ache

The only consolation and I think it actually is a good one is knowing that you gave your pet a wonderful, full life and that you loved and were loved by them.

[somegirl99]

Calladonna, maybe a refresher birth class for you and your DH might help?  They offer short refresher versions for 2nd+ time parents around here.

For vitamin D, I use Rx Vitamins Liqui-D3, normal dose is 2000 IU which I am now doing for maintenance but when I was low (5 ng/mL, standard range 30-100) I did 2 drops/day so 4000 IU and that brought me up to 42 ng/mL in 3 months time.
 

[GISDiva]

I just got suckered into buying a wrap I haven't seen by a friend who saw it on her old DDC group on Facebook.  She's such an enabler, she didn't want to spend money on yet another baby carrier, but of course I'll let her borrow it until I need it.  Sneaky.  

[carmen358]

Originally Posted by Banana731 


Carmen- does your doula work with the Partner during Births? Like you get 2, or you just get who is on call?
 

I will get who is on call. The one we had for DD was actually the backup for the doula we hired but then our hired doula ended up coming too so we had 2 doulas for the actual birth...but the back up one was there from the beginning and both my DP and I really liked her a lot. I will meet her partner doula in June so I can decide if I connect with her or not....I'm fairly easy going so unless she is awful and we immediately clash I would imagine I'll end up being fine with it. Doula care isn't cheap (imho) but it's so, so worth it and they really do amazing, hard work so I feel they deserve what they get paid. Last time it was 750.00 and this time it is 825.00.